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Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by mybaby1, Jan 17, 2012.

  1. mybaby1

    mybaby1 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi all,

    my problem is my husband spending much on my SILs.whenever we visit hometown he will shop like crazy, inspite of this that since marriage of 1.5 yrs we had visited 4-5 times.On occasions also he always gift some gold to them while they will return just anything for namesake or even nothing.
    when my child was born we gave them gold necklace sets while they gave nothing to me or my husband and a small pendent by the elder one and a thin chain by the second one.even we gave a gold bracelet to elder sil son too.

    I really dont like all this as i believe in do what others do to you and this is not the situation that they are not well of . Both my sils are having good income they are just misers and dont know to give just want everything.
    I do worry for my and my child future. if we keep on giving this way how will we save. i had talked to my husband a no. of times but he has been just filled by his mother that he has to do for his sisters.. i really dont know how to make him understand all thi...
     
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  2. superwoman09

    superwoman09 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi mybaby1,

    Sometimes u just cannot do anything but watch..Try to make sure that u and hubby have some savings for ur future life n for the child's education. After having savings for ur family, if he spends on his sisters and family it is his call. U too think what u would have done if they were ur sisters. My DH too spends a lot on his elder sis and her family and she doesnt even appreciate the fact that he does such a lot for them. My DH feels that he could not do anything for her marriage since he was very young at that time, still studying. I guess that is why he tries to give her and her family (SIL) gifts.
     
  3. anugamit

    anugamit Platinum IL'ite

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    Try to convince your husband to invest in a new home or plot or investment schemes. Also plan on investing for future of your baby. You have not told if you are working or not. If you are, then save or invest your income for your baby.

    You cannot overall stop your DH from spending money on them, after all they are his sisters.
     
  4. sweetestshweta

    sweetestshweta Gold IL'ite

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    Hi OP..
    I am also facing similar problem and I had asked for solutions from other members on this forum..But I am unable to control this.Whether SIL comes here or we visit her,our bank balance suffers maximum blow..
    More than the financial thing,its the feeling of being used everytime and the ruthlessness shown in extravagantly spending our hard earned money which bothers me..
    I havent been been able to do anything about it.Please tell me if you successfully find a solution to tackle this problem..
     
  5. mybaby1

    mybaby1 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi sweetestshweta,

    This issue has been going and going.what i have been following these days is when and where some such situation arises i show a comparision to my husband that see this we did for your sister or for her husband and for her child and this she did for me or you or for our child. He wont say anything to me coz he dont want to let down his sister infront of me but yes i do know that it is working he is able to judge things now.
    and second thing what i am doing is to not say him directly many a times i just exemplify him that i am a sister too and if i was on his sisters place i would have never done this or would have done this..It also hits..
    To me this has worked to certain extent..hope this works for you too..
     
  6. mybaby1

    mybaby1 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi anugamit,

    Thanks for your reply and answer to your question is that i am not working as my baby is just 8 month.
    I really dont want to overall stop my DH from spending on his family i only want him to spend in limits and not going over the board and to once just look what others are doing. it isn't so that they are financially low they have enough but they are just saving every penny of theirs and you are just getting slipped over the sweet talks and spending everything you have got...
     
  7. thegoodlife

    thegoodlife New IL'ite

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    dear mybaby1,
    First things first, what do you want? you want your husband to spend lesser on SILs or you want your SILs to return back equal amount of gifts how much you give? i guess the first one is better option. I think you should make or prepare a budget plan for each SIL with your husband. Like you will give gifts/cash worth 50,000 in a year, to each SIL. You cannot abruptly stop him from spending so much but with time and little smartness you can control this issue.
    good luck, thegoodlife
     

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