Please tell me what to do.....

Hi all,

I never thought i would be posting something here, especially about my ILs. Basically my ILs are very good people. Co-sis is mil's relative and they stay with ils, bil doesnt work and their kids have some health problems so they are some what their favourites. we stay in another city. had small disturbances from ils now and then but they are very small ones and later we behaved like nothing happened. even my mom says that my mil treats me like her daughter. so far so good.

recently i delivered a baby boy. my first kid is a girl. there is one thing which i dont like in my mil is she only and only prays for baby boy. when i first had a girl, she was depressed. although she behaved normally with me she was crying inside. even for others she wishes for baby boys only. this time it happened that i had to take my 9th month scanning at their place. after the scanning they went and asked the doc about the gender it seems. as we all know that there is no chance of revealing, the doc said the same. just because he didnt tell them the gender, my mil was fixed that it is a baby girl for sure. it was about 20days before my delivery and till date she was crying everyday it seems, praying for a baby boy for us. my dad also got affected to that madness. they might be thinking that she will ill treat me if i give birth to a baby girl again. so my parents also used to pray for a baby boy. my dad is of 66 years and gets tensed even for small things. everyday he used to sit in his room and used to just behave like my mil. she started calling everyone and told all that i am having a girl. she even told my dad the same. my dad is already unhealthy. DH was on onsite and when he saw my dad he thought my dad has become so weak because of his mother. so finally each and everyone was under depression. when the d-day came, i delivered a baby boy. i dont know whether i should thank god. every one was happy and DH lectured mil about why she was that much tensed. she had to accept the truth etc etc. for once he also said that because of her overall drama my parents and my health went for a toss. this hit her and she started arguing with him and started crying and stopped talking to him. she was ok with me. was talking to me but not whole heartedly, not a chat but they are just bullet points and hung up. from then onwards no body from there called us. just bil came to our house and gave some things and left. at this time, DH went to another city for 2 days. during the argument, DH also mentioned to my co-sis that all this is because he stopped sending money to them. (we are also not in a position to send money to the family which includes bil, his wife and his kids. we asked ils to stay with us but they said no.)

today DH left for another country, which they knew but still they didnt call him. i can see that he is sad. my parents told bil to come here before DH leaves and my dad also called fil to come here to see off his son. but none came here. DH called them before check-in but bil's son answered saying fil is in bathroom (which we can understand is a lie). finally DH left without talking to them. now i dont feel like talking to them anymore. i was so unhappy to see my DH's face. He may come after few months but his mom's attitude was disheartening. DH said they are ok with you, so you just call them now and then. but i really dont feel like talking to them. please tell me what should i do next. There is a ceremony this thursday. they have to come here to see my son. no idea whether they will come or not. sorry for the long post.

 

Thank you all for your replies. When she comes here, i would definitely be normal. but what i don't understand is, it is between mother and son but why fil is behaving like a stranger. anyways now the issue is, we both (mil and i) call each other once in 2 days and give all the updates. now i don't feel like calling her. last time i was the one who called her. even when i called her, she hung up with in 2 mins. so thinking to wait for her call this time.

 

Thanks for your wishes dear. my dad called them because my DH was very sad that day and that too my dad felt that all this is because my DH was concerned about my dad which added to the fire. You are very much correct. there seems to be much than this. they are reacting for the wrong reason. its all for money. my DH decided to send money to his parents every month so that it is sufficient only for them. lets see. all of their behaviour is very weird which never happened and i never expected. may be a storm is waiting for us.

 

I already told my DH that i dont feel like talking to them. he asked me to be just normal if at all they happen to call me. yes, by creating such a drama, my mil lost all the impression. she did so much for me during the pregnancy. she used to cook all the dishes and send me from another place. she was very helpful, no idea what's got into her all of the sudden. although she prefers boys, she likes my DD a lot. Whenever we are there, she treats her like a princess. now and then she gets angry with her grandsons but she never ever raised her voice on my DD. Takes very good care of her whenever ILs come to our place. She also made her grandsons to treat my DD like the one and only. Because of all this, i am feeling unhappy that how could a person change this much all of the sudden. if she was like this right from the beginning, i would have never give a damn. my parents are also shocked to see her behaviour. Seems like there is some overaction even in her love and in her hatred.