Please Suggest

Pay all bills in a joint family set up ???
what are the others contributing to?

 

How is your BIL considered eligible to be married when he can only contribute to groceries every month ? You cannot do anything about his decision to get married but you can make sure that you don’t spend the rest of your life supporting him and his wife. If I were you I would pay him the 40% and keep the ownership of the new home between you and husband. Ask BIL contribute to EMI of the existing house where he should stay put with his wife. And he needs to find a wife that can share his financial burden.

You and husband should ideally move into the new house. Contribute for your inlaws expenses if needed every month but not for an adult sibling that is capable of earning himself.

Your existing financial arrangement is unfair and your husband is further complicating the mess by including his brother in the new home.

Rather than focusing on why and if husband cheated you by not including your name , focus on clearing this mess first. Contribute to the new house only on the condition that the house is under your and husband’s ownership.

 

I have a feeling BIL will stay in that new house after his marriage. But you both will also be paying the EMIs since it's in your name too. Maybe your husband did everything to help BIL have a house of his own since they are looking for his marriage.

 

please understand this is a very bad setup what your h is planning. you both are working. the new woman may or may not work. lack of financial separation creates a lot of problems now a days.

why can't your H pay that 40% . Sell that 1 bhk. Try to get a new a house 2 bhk in bro name.

you have a baby. what if you want your parents to come and visit for a short time. where they will live if your current place is so congested.

it might look as you are the bad cop but it will help your H to plan for his family and BRO to plan for his. a little separation creates a lot of love and respect.

 

Op, The 2 bedroom apartment purchase was a bad idea to begin with. When it comes to further selling or dividing all sentiments go out the window. Even if your BIL didn't contribute 1 dime, he will ask for equal share or IL;s will insure he gets equal share. Your BIL is smart. He gets away with only contributing to grocery while you and your hubby take the lion's share of expenses. I am sure he is fattening his savings while you both r slogging away.

You are looking at lot of heartache down the road. Your husband showed his smart behavior by buying the flat in your absence. But did he show it by doing an agreement with his brother so no problem comes up in future. Today your kid is just a baby . But come 4-5 yrs, wont she need her own room. Now kids are asserting independence sooner and sooner. What will you do then.

Your BIL conveniently doesn't want a working wife so he doesn't have to contribute much to home and fatten his savings. Expenses go up everyday . Tomorrow he gets married and his wife being a housewife will slowly reign over house day to day decisions. You and your husband will end up being spectators in the house.

Your hubby wanted EMI in your name becoz he doesn't qualify but your name is not in the house anywhere. Neither is the selected house discussed with you. When you go back, use this weakness and ask your husband to separate finances from his brother and give back his 40% . Immediately change it into both of your names as husband and wife. Next , sit down with hubby BIL and make your house budget. Including EMI. Make BIL pay half of it.Wudnt he have paid rent if he stayed separate. Ask him to pay it here. See how soon brotherly love vanishes. If he protests or feigns he is earning less tell him if he lived alone wudnt the expenses be same . He has contribute . Time for you to take charge. Good Luck.

 

Op, The 2 bedroom apartment purchase was a bad idea to begin with. When it comes to further selling or dividing all sentiments go out the window. Even if your BIL didn't contribute 1 dime, he will ask for equal share or IL;s will insure he gets equal share. Your BIL is smart. He gets away with only contributing to grocery while you and your hubby take the lion's share of expenses. I am sure he is fattening his savings while you both r slogging away.

You are looking at lot of heartache down the road. Your husband showed his smart behavior by buying the flat in your absence. But did he show it by doing an agreement with his brother so no problem comes up in future. Today your kid is just a baby . But come 4-5 yrs, wont she need her own room. Now kids are asserting independence sooner and sooner. What will you do then.

Your BIL conveniently doesn't want a working wife so he doesn't have to contribute much to home and fatten his savings. Expenses go up everyday . Tomorrow he gets married and his wife being a housewife will slowly reign over house day to day decisions. You and your husband will end up being spectators in the house.

Your hubby wanted EMI in your name becoz he doesn't qualify but your name is not in the house anywhere. Neither is the selected house discussed with you. When you go back, use this weakness and ask your husband to separate finances from his brother and give back his 40% . Immediately change it into both of your names as husband and wife. Next , sit down with hubby BIL and make your house budget. Including EMI. Make BIL pay half of it.Wudnt he have paid rent if he stayed separate. Ask him to pay it here. See how soon brotherly love vanishes. If he protests or feigns he is earning less tell him if he lived alone wudnt the expenses be same . He has contribute . Time for you to take charge. Good Luck.