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Please help me. I am worried about my daughter's friends behavior.

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by nayidulhan, Feb 24, 2016.

  1. nayidulhan

    nayidulhan Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Friends,
    My daughter is 5 yo and studies in LKG. Last month the school counselor talked to her class about good touch, bad touch and the related topics. Since that time almost all the kids in the class keep talking about nothing else but private parts (in their baby language).

    I was worried but decided to remain calm because:
    1) My daughter & her friends now had the necessary info to know the topic (that would help them take care of themselves).
    2) I thought it was a passing phase and would die out eventually.

    But of late, some of the kids in the class actually show their private parts to each other even when the counselor has told them firmly that body parts covered by swim suits should never be exposed. This worries me a lot. My daughter tells me that this happens during tiffin time or during washroom break. I am sure the teacher must be somewhere around, according to the school rules and how the kids still manage to do this worries me. So, my question is what should I tell my daughter about this? I have been repeatedly telling her that this behavior is wrong and that under no circumstances should those parts be exposed. But she sees almost all the kids doing that.

    Moreover, the issue that is bothering me to no end, so much so that I feel my BP shooting up is this- one girl from her class talks incessantly about her parents. She speaks something or the other about her parents personal life almost everyday & she says things that are just too much to hear. I wish to avoid posting the details of the distasteful things here. Please excuse me. But they are gross and she is vivid in her choice of words. It is possible that she may have sneaked on her parents during the act or some older sibling or someone else may be telling her all this.

    I am worried that my child's (& also her other classmates') innocence is getting ruined in all this. Please please tell me how I should handle this. I want to avoid involving the teacher or other parents in all this, if possible (I have confrontation problems). I want to just talk to my daughter but I dont know what to say to her. I keep telling her that there is a right age for everything and her age now is to devote to studies & play. Please advise what I should do. Should I ask the teacher to make my daughter sit next to someone else? I have tears in my eyes as I write this. I am worried about my daughter's future.

    Please advise.

    p.s. I want you all to know that I am not judging the little friend or any other classmate or even the teachers or the kids' families in anyway. I just want to preserve my daughter's innocence so that she does not get distracted by unnecessary, untimely things that could affect her studies or life in general.
    Thanks.
     
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  2. vani098

    vani098 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi

    Omg the generation is changing a lot that we can't even tollarate a single thing. I'm not an expert or a mother to tell
    U but I'll tell u the one thing.

    Please consult a child psychiatrists and first change her school.

    One imp thing we need to look at with whom our kids are doing friend ship with.

    Not only u all the perants becoz days are not good.
     
  3. inboxsweetee

    inboxsweetee Gold IL'ite

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    Change her school.

     
  4. NirmalaGoofy

    NirmalaGoofy Gold IL'ite

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    Calm down. Everything is changing and childs innocence is lost at a very early stage. We are paying the price for the advancement of human kind. Since we as humans are proud about being advanced in everything, we should also try to accept this. As a mother of two young children, I know and understand your feelings. Isnt this sad. Movies, Tvs, iphone, youtube internet - they can access everything and anything at an early age. You cannot do anything about it. Only thing we can try to do is distract their toughts by enrolling in other activities like sports, painting, martial art etc.. If their mind is fully occupied towards acitivities, the chances of them being thinking about other things might be reduced though no guarantee that it might not be there. You cannot control the friends circle or correct them. It will be the same story in every school or country. Do your best to divert your childs thoughts towards other productive things and always make sure she communicates with you whatever happened at school. You should be her best friend.
     
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  5. nayidulhan

    nayidulhan Silver IL'ite

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    @Vani098 & inboxsweetee

    Thanks for your replies. You are right about the changing times. I talked to other Mothers with kids studying in different schools. Different boards (curriculum/ syllabus) even. The situation is similar. :( So looks like changing the school will not help much.
    One mother whose daughter goes for regional language classes, told me that her daughter picked up all the bad words in the regional language there. She knows all the bad words in English from school and all the bad words in their local language from the class. :( The kids don't even have to look out for all this these days. It is all there in the open waiting for them. :(

    @NirmalaGoofy

    I am thankful for your reply especially your pointer about keeping her mind occupied. I think I will increase her physical activity now.

    My daughter has learnt swimming. Learning to ride the bike (cycling) is next on my list for her. I want to start martial arts for her when she is around 8 yo. (She lacks the stamina right now. Her Dr advised me to let her grow a little more physically.) Are there any other physical activities anyone can suggest for a 5yo, please?

    Regarding the friend circle, yes, I agree no parent has a control over this. Or for that matter over any other external influence. What we can do is inculcate good values in them. I try my best to be a good parent, actually a good person, knowing all the time that my daughter is watching me. Are there any classes or anything else that could help me in this regard?

    Finally, regarding making best friends with her. This is on my mind all the time but being tensed or worried, I slip up sometimes and end up showing my annoyance to her sometimes. I know this is fatal to my relation & trust with her so I am working on correcting that.

    Thanks to all of you for your kindness. It means a lot. :)

    Other parents here, please post your views & suggestions for me as this will surely be one ongoing process for me. Thanks again.
     
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  6. vani098

    vani098 IL Hall of Fame

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    Consult child psychiatrists.

    No in all the school are not like enquiry it.


    Tell me at which place u live. I'll tell the best schooll
     
  7. vani098

    vani098 IL Hall of Fame

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    U r absalitly current.

    This may help many parents thanks yar.
     
  8. nayidulhan

    nayidulhan Silver IL'ite

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    Vani098, who exactly are you referring to? child psychiatrist or child psychologist?
     
  9. nayidulhan

    nayidulhan Silver IL'ite

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    @Vani098
    Could you please post the names of schools you recommend in the following places (as these places matter to me & my family):
    in USA:
    1) New Jersey
    2) Texas

    in India
    1) Mumbai
    2) Pune
    3) Goa

    Thanks in advance. :)
     
  10. vani098

    vani098 IL Hall of Fame

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    abhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa please do't confuse me it is child psychiatrist .




    wat is this u r asking the school names in all over the world r wat? amma please tell me were u live i'll tell u the best school there
     

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