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Please Help Me As An Indian Parent For An Indian American Kid.

Discussion in 'Return to India' started by Anusri13, Nov 15, 2016.

  1. SeekingMind

    SeekingMind Silver IL'ite

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    You made a poor choice in not teaching your kid to speak your own mother tongue. I am not saying this just because you moved to India without your kid not knowing your own language. No! not for that reason. Even if you hadn't decided to move back, don't you think its your primary duty to pass on your language, your culture to the next generation. What was so bad or so wrong in your kid learning Telugu which happens to be your native tongue? Sheer ignorance and arrogance stemming from that ignorance is what makes some people think mother tongue is not important. And, then unfortunately their offsprings pay a huge price. Forgive me for saying this but I cannot stop myself from speaking my mind when I come across such posts. In US, people respect and admire bilingual kids. Many Americans...english speaking people spend money to make their kids bilingual. They send them t to spanish, french, portuguese or german, hebrew, mandarin classes once or twice a week. I have also heard that in west coast there are are many americans who are taking interest in Indian languages, Indian culture, classical music dance etc too by the influence of large Indian diaspora there. And here you are, you didnt have to spend a dime but just be yourself and your kid would have benefitted, but you ignored.

    Anyway, whats over is over. You cannot go and redo it. But, you are lucky all is not lost. There is still hope since your child is young. This is the right age to learn a couple of few languages simultaneously.
    Keep an open mind and encourage your child. Dont pressurise your child and judge her. Always remind yourself it is you who is to be blamed for having put her in such a situation. Its not her fault, don't judge her. Also, you need to change your mindset that your kid needs to hear English in school or classroom just so she will be comfortable. Kids in India speak 2-3 languages and also English. So, nobody can enforce any one language on them. When it comes to subjects they study in English but among friends they may or may not speak english. The school can only say they should speak in English but cannot guarantee you they will do that. Even we while we were growing up did the same.
    So, learn to let go your kid and allow her to explore on her own. She may be disgusted now but pretty soon she will surprise you. Kids at that age accept and get adjusted to change very fast. All that is required is encouragement from parents.

    I was in a similar situation when we went back to India when my elder one was 10yrs old though she knew how to speak fluently telugu she was a beginner in reading and writing.. We also moved to Hyderabad at that time. Global Indian international school is a good one for NRIs. It had CBSE and recently I heard they now have IB board also. CBSE is good board. Don't worry about languages. She will pick up since she is young. Don't deprive her from learning Indian language by choosing french over telugu. This is the best chance for her to learn her native language. Some people foolishly think french is mark scoring, easy blah blah and select that. Another school I can think of now is .... Oakridge. That is also good but expensive than the others. You can put your child for first 1 or 2 yrs in international schools and then if you wish you can move her to local schools once she is adjusted else keep her in international if you can afford. My children went to Global Indian International school when we moved to India for a couple of years. Its a good school. My kids liked the teachers. And, there was no rush in teaching them the 2nd and 3rd languages. The language teachers were very patient with them and overall my kids had a nice experience. They still have contact with their friends in india and in summer when we go they meet up and have fun. My child who will start college next year plans to do her one semester in India under her semester abroad studies.
     
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2016
  2. butterflyice

    butterflyice Local Champion Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    @Anusri13 , Welcome to Indusladies!

    Do not panic! Nothing to worry about if your child doesn't speak Telegu right now.

    The popular route for NRIs is to go to International schools. Expensive, elitist in that kids are exposed to only NRI kids. The perceived advantage is that they do not have to study Indian languages.

    If you choose to go the CBSE or ICSE route, they are plenty of good schools in Hyderabad. Do not restrict yourself to DPS. Obviously you will have to work with your kid's mental make-up of having to study an Indian language. I have heard that teachers are very patient and work with your child to come up to speed. You also have the option of doing French/German instead of one Indian language. Pick a school near home.

    Obviously in all schools, kids will speak many languages irrespective of the language they study. Especially in a city like Hyderabad which is far more cosmopolitan. In order to fit in and to understand popular culture, your kid will do well to watch Hindi/Telegu movies, listen to songs from these movies, else she is going to feel left out.

    You also probably need to work with your kid to infuse confidence in her and prepare her for the move. Living in India for someone who has not been exposed to the Indian chaos can be pretty intimidating. But it will be worth it, she will be learning life skills that cannot be learnt in the orderly first world society. Do not frighten her. Slowly ask her to watch a movie with you. Invite her friends too. Take her to the theater to make it more fun. Have her watch videos, songs etc. Ask her to reply to you in Telegu. I presume you still speak to her in Telegu, she will have the vocabulary stored up, just encourage her to speak to you. Point to her the benefits of talking in many languages. Show her how cool it is. Show examples of other kids (Chinese, European kids) who speak their own language apart from English.

    In short, there is no - I will speak only English - when in India. As the saying goes, Be Roman when in Rome.
     
    sindmani likes this.
  3. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    From personal experience, my daughter learned to speak in three Indian languages when we relocated to India with zero effort on our end. Hindi was taught in school and she loved to watch Chota Bheem so she learned to converse. Our language that all our relatives spoke, she became really fluent in the matter of a few months. She also picked up the local language in a few months too. Kids are very adaptable and will learn to speak and understand rather quickly.
    She also got used to the country and was very upset when it was time to come back four years later. She had the best time in India. Even now, she keeps in touch with her friends in India and visits them when we travel. She also hasn't forgotten the languages. She can converse with the occasional grandparent who visits and I don't fail to get compliments from them on her language fluency!

    Regarding schools, in my experience, a regular CBSE school is a lot more work post grade 5. We did cbse for a couple of years and then switched to an igcse/ib school. Both schools had sufficient amount of kids like her so she wasn't the only one from the US.

    Funny incident at school, on the first day of the new grade my DD got off the bus and proclaimed loudly "Amma there are two Indian kids in my class". I asked her who were the others. "All Americans and a few from countries in Europe", came the response. I wondered how that was. Apparently the teacher asked the kids to introduce themselves in class with their name and a few basics,one of which was "the place you are from or born in". Other than two kids who were born in Surat and Hyderabad, the rest of the class was from New Jersey, Pittsburgh, SFO, Chicago, London, Amsterdam, Berlin .......

    To this day I pull her leg about her "German" classmate!
     
    sindmani and Anusri13 like this.
  4. indca26

    indca26 New IL'ite

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    Hi Advitha which school is this in bangalore? we are looking for one for our daughter..pls help.
     

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