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Please Help Decide My Life

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by New12345, Dec 26, 2016.

  1. Ragavisang

    Ragavisang Gold IL'ite

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    Com'on New12345... what is the problem with you people... you are good ok fine but you need not be too good to your abuser. So you can walk out of the relationship with clean innocent heart...then that monster would get married to another girl and spoil her life as well. And then you guys say to yourself "Lucky me, I escaped from the Monster" and I don't care about the other person and it's her fate.
     
  2. methicura

    methicura New IL'ite

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    from yr post it is clear even at 27 you cannot protect yourself nor know yr rights and live. you are an educated woman and it is pathetic to see a spineless person like you moaning. education is given so that a person lives a dignified life by making prudent and shrewd decisions in life. in light of these skills lacking, you cannot protect yr child and bring them up as confident citizens. so take courage and meet yr personal troubles at hand and solve them. then you shall confidently meet all challenges in life. with prayers wishing you a comfortable and peaceful future
     
    Ragavisang and chocolate like this.
  3. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, Get a grip on reality. Your husband and in laws abuse you for property . Has he ever thought about how you feel about him abusing? If he has abused you in front of his parents he has crossed extreme limits. You need to accept the reality that he wont change until you do something. I understand your sister is yet to be married. Why not do something here.

    Time to come up with a plan. Entice your hubby into applying for college here. Tell him benefits of another income. I am sure he will be tempted. Enroll asap and see if you can change your visa status.Next time he abuses call 911 immediately. Why are you worried about his visa status if he is worried abusing you? Don't come with an excuse of I have to live with it guilt . Reality is you are getting abused for no reason except his and his family greed. Will it change if you don't do something about it.

    Visa status wont be effected except it will go for further background check and take some time.

    Let me tell you if you look at my very early posts , you will see I was in your position. My sister was due for marriage. My parents never pressurized me to stay, but I stayed becoz I didn't want her marriage chances to be effected.I cudnt change visa status as our green card process was on and first stage was to be approved. But I took a step and called 911.That call was vital becoz my marriage changed for good.If you see my very early posts you will get an idea. Reality is not waiting for some divine intervention to change our life but be the intervention.

    Don't look for comfort from your family seeing how their hands are tied. Do something here itself. Your husband needs to take responsibility of being a husband and a man. He is just looking for easy money in form of your property. Today it will one property tomorrow he will end up asking to sign everything to him. What guarantee is there after that he will need you.Chances are he will keep everything under his name and not a penny to you.Think about this.Good Luck.
     
    guesshoo, Ragavisang and Meet9 like this.
  4. saheli

    saheli New IL'ite

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    Hi New12345,

    Chocolate is right about property, think of it and everyone's opinion. But if you are worried about Visa status, you should search for visa status called U and that is made for people like you ( h4) who was abused by their spouse ( domestic violence) . Please do some private research in Google , use incognito mode to do search for this visa.
    Your H is typical abuser , abuse will keep grow. Please do not even think for baby. You still can have healthy baby after 30 if you stay healthy. So dont worry about baby yet but think first how can you get out of this abusive relationship.
    Also, don' t know which state or city you are from, there are some asian helpline as well, you can check out below link, please open this link only in Incognito mode so your internet history will wipe out once you close the window,
    www.google.com/search?q=asian+domestic+violence+helpline&oq=asian+domestic+violence+helpline&aqs=chrome..69i57.19502j0j7&client=ms-android-hms-tmobile-us&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

    I am not attorny but trying to help you based on my research for myself.
    Stay strong and God bless you!

    Saheli
     

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