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Discussion in 'Pujas Prayers & Slokas' started by SRMB, Sep 16, 2019.

  1. SRMB

    SRMB Senior IL'ite

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    Hello All, I'm a new member. My parents are looking for match for me since late 2015. I am now 30 years old. I get so many proposals but many times the eligible guys disappear at the last minute. My family has consulted many jyotish acharya and we have done all the remedies. Also completed Sai Satcharitra parayan, Sripada charitra parayan, Siddha mangala stotra parayan, Hanuman parayan, Sai 9 guruvar vrat, done many other sankalpas, poojas, homas, worn gem stones, prayed to family god, charity, visited marriage related temples etc. But no success. Even my marriage is not fixed till now.

    Any prayer guidance, or even moral support is very favorable. Also give me tips on how to be positive as I am really trying. But I am losing faith and falling into a depression. Can I get married after I cross 30?

    I know this is my result of past life karmas but I will work hard if God is willing to give me a chance.

    Else I am settled well due to God's grace with a good career, family and friends. Thank you.
     
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  2. PurpleRoses

    PurpleRoses Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,
    First of all, please don't be under so much negative pressure to get married.
    You are just 30!
    See over the married forums and you will know how many women suffer post marriage.

    No, this doesn't mean to discourage you from marriage. I just mean to say that marriage is not the most important thing in life.
    Yes, marriage is needed to have a life partner to share your happiness and sorrows.
    But, it's important to get married to the right person than the presumed "right time".

    Don't focus only on your marriage. Take a break from it and pursue your hobbies and interests.

    You are blessed to have good career. Focus on that and your parents. Once you get married, you wont get the time and freedom that you have now to spend with your parents.


    Also, I would recommend please do the sai divya puja. You can do sankalpam to saibaba to do either 5,7,9,11 or 21 thursdays.

    You need to soak white handkerchief in turmeric water, dry it on wednesday. Then on thursday take 1 rupee or 2 rupee coin, pray to saibaba and ask him to fulfil your wish and tie the coin in he turmeric dyed handkerchief. Place this at baba's feet.

    You have to clean a stool, place a cloth, place baba's idol/photo on it. Also it's compulsory to place another God's photo with saibaba. Like ganesha. (Can be any God).
    Decorate baba with flowers, garland etc.

    Light lamps/diya, agarbatti, read 108 names of saibaba ashtotara satanamavalli (you have to put 1 flower or 1 petal for each name).
    Give pongal /khichdi only as naivedhyam. It's compulsory.
    Read all 6 stories in sai divya puja book. It's compulsory to read all 6 stories every single time.

    Note- continue this puja as many Thursdays as you promised to do on 1st thursday. After you finish all thursdays, do udhyapana on last thursday n distribute sai divya puja books and khichdi prasadam.

    You should not open the knot of the cloth with rupee that you tied. You have to take it and put it in hundi in shirdi once your wish gets fulfilled. Or after completing all the thursdays.

    If cant go to shirdi, you can put it in hundi of nearby saibaba temple too.

    Buy or download sai divya puja book .I recommend buy the book if you get in local store.

    May saibaba bless you with a good life partner soon.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2019
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  3. SRMB

    SRMB Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you for your response. Is 30 really still a young age? If it matters I live in US, came here as a student to do MS, now work in Engineering.

    I have not heard of this pooja before. I will discuss with my mother who is Sai devotee. Previously I did Sai 9 thursday fast and it solved my health issue. So I am grateful to Baba for giving me this life.

    Yes, I am really blessed except for the unmarried aspect. But sometimes I feel low especially as the society makes me feel inadequate for being single. Thanks for your response.

     
  4. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    You are living and working in America. Which society is bothering you for being single ? I know plenty of 30-something singles who get cold-feet when it comes to marriage. Those are cases of both girls and boys doing : "many times the eligible guys disappear at the last minute." you had mentioned in your first post are people who feel happier being single, rather than married.

    I am sure you have had secular thoughts (you are an engineer !) about why there are last minute change of hearts. What gives ? Why isn't there a closure for the deal ? Arranged marriages involve both parties considering various criteria, and mutually coming to an agreement that much of what is needed by each party is satisfied, and the gaps that exist are manageable in the future -- after the transaction closes.

    Money, looks, education, family (close in economic status, and casste/community), are usually the top things that need to match. All things other than "looks" are checked before an actual facetime happens. Facetime (girl-dekko, boy-dekko) has each of the participants looking at the other, and not at themselves. This is often the catalyst for cold feet. Even ordinary, dull looking guys want a Rathi-Revathi, who also has an engineering education, and live in America and make gobs of money too.

    I recommend that you get healthy and fit. Go to a gym on a regular basis, get spa treatments. And reject the next 10 candidates at girl-dekkos.

    That should boost your emotional life.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2019
  5. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    This is my experience and belief, when it's the right time, your partner will appear in front of you. Till then, be positive, work on yourself , your career and focus on your life. Also think about what you want after marriage ( continue working, financial independence,...dont compromise..).

    It all depends on ones own choices. Even if one is highly educated or settled, its good to have a loving family/ a good companion. If thats your choice, marriage is the first step in that direction in Indian setup. Dont worry about others comments. Chace your dreams and plans, but dont consider it as the ultimate destination. Dont marry for others, only for yourself. You should decide your own destiny.

    I can understand your stress, I had gone through the same, simply because of the stress created on my parents by the outsiders / relatives and their never ending questions. Look like your parents are transferring all those to you.

    You are in US, so you dont have to face it much. Many of my friends married in their 30's, highly professionals. So getting equality qualified proposals was not easy. I remember them taking all those "vruths"( Monday for Shiv, Friday Devi.. dont remember, plus visiting temples, you can try that). But finally they got the right ones.

    So dont be desperate. Dont compromise. You are in US, why dont you try dating. Have you tried Indian matrimony sites.

    Marriage is just part of one's life. But if we are married to the wrong person, every thing will be spoiled [ read married life forum here]. So wait for a person , you are genuinely interested or someone really interested in you. There is not much fun in marrying a stranger, just because horoscopes matched. when all your criteria match( education, family etc.], only then go for formal meeting. But take your own time to decide.

    My marriage was an arranged one. Like you I have faced many questions. My Prof. couldn't believe it even after explaining it for two hours- how on earth such an independent, professional go for an arranged marriage. I didn't want to hurt parents and I have been raised in a very traditional set up. Anyway, I created my matrimony profile, like parents search for groom for their daughter and shortlisted persons, and gave those to my parents as I found it's tough for highly educated girl to find similar ones. Then parents do the rest [they believe in horoscopes, poojas etc., but I don't, but I respect others choices]. I married the first person I met through this way. Luckily it worked reasonably well in my case. But I didn't have much time to worry about all those as I was so busy with my higher studies. I was more interested in building my career than marriage. Luckily my horoscope, helped, saved lot of headaches. It was tough to get a match:)

    Arranged marriage is like a lottery. Anyway . I feel sometimes, that I missed the fun of finding my own partner and all those moments which you dont get in arranged marriage. So why dont try finding some one that match your and parents criteria instead of leaving every thing to parents.

    I wrote here all these just to give you some idea that many Indian women [educated,/ independent] have been facing in this situation for a long time ( I am sure you know all these these things, but still..) . Dont loose hope. Being single is better than marrying someone for convenience. May all your dreams come true. Keep on praying if you believe in those things. Good luck
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2019
  6. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    I too followed many rituals and the last one that I did was - I took two yellow colored single bed sheets. Put one below and one above while sleeping. After starting this I got married in few months. You can give it a try if feel so. All the best for your search.
     
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  7. SRMB

    SRMB Senior IL'ite

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    Looks wise I have no issues, and never did either. I am fit and get complimented very often, even by these guys who later disappear. I have no clue what is going on.
     
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  8. SRMB

    SRMB Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks for
    Thanks for your response. It made me feel better knowing that others are also in the same boat. I cannot date here because most guys want to get physical before marriage and it is against my values. So I prefer arranged marriage itself. I'm traditional in outlook. Hope I get lucky too.
     
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  9. SRMB

    SRMB Senior IL'ite

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    Do you mean, you used one to cover yourself and put other one under you?
    What else did you try rituals wise? Thanks.
     
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  10. SRMB

    SRMB Senior IL'ite

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