Please Advise Me What Should I Do?

Are you seeing yourself as a heroine of yester years to fall at his feet even when he doesn't think twice before trampling your feelings?What makes you think that just because you argue endlessly, he is going to get over his ex and accept you? All along he is aware of her every damn thing, he knows things which you may not even imagine. Moreover he isn't a small kid that you give evidence and he will accept. Ask moms here how smart the kids are and even they accept ONLY when they want to accept. So dear, FOCUS only on yourself and your education. Once you have your own identity, deal with your marriage in whatever way you deem fit. Nothing that you do now changes anything for now. Maybe because of your bad karma, you are in this mess. But given the fact that you are a bright young woman, realise your potential and deal with issues as and when you face them later.

For the moment be fully engrossed in the 'Priyasri' world, discover your talents and potentials and IGNORE HIM TOTALLY, let him woo you. All the best.

 

I feel the best thing to do now is concentrate only on your studies and getting a job .

I wonder why is your MIL against you even when your dad is paying tuition fees and other things . I Think you need to remind her tat this investment is far better than giving them dowry ,in few years you can also earn better. If she is so classy why does she need car as a dowry gift? Definitely she would have one and wats the point of gifting car knowing tat you and your husband will not live in India !

Wats your FILs role here? Is he not accompanying your MIL to US? Is he not trying to stop the argument between both as he was the one to give green signal for this marriage inspite of knowing his son and money minded wife.

You can standby yourself if things won’t go according to your favour . Imagine if your father had given dowry and your husband is still not showing love and affection on you . Who is at loss ?? Good thing is you invested on yourself .
For time being forget all those and worry only about your health and studies.

And regarding your husbands ex I don’t think you should inform tat to her fiancé wat if the marriage breaks and she is behind your husband and make both of your lives miserable.

In sometime once you get job you will get clarity ! Your husband might change his view on you and things might get better . If he still doesn’t then you know wat to do .

And yes concentrate on your weight loss too not for him but for yourself !

 

You are worried about violating his trust ? A man who not only has the audacity to keep communicating with his ex but also explicitly stating that you are not worthy of him .

 

This sounds a lot like @apuviki 's thread - isnt it ?

Please Advise Me On What's Bothering My Husband.

Even if it is the same OP, no issues. Its good to see some progress in the story. I often wondered what happened to the OP. Time for some action - ditch that husband of yours and please put an end to this horrible, toxic, no-good relationship (between you & your DH i mean).

I wish someone would shake you real hard and make you see sense. I think you must be the romantic type .. the quintessential Indian movie heroine who saves her husband and "earns his love" by the end of a 3 hr movie.

Have you never seen what a good relationship looks like ? Have you no understanding of what a good husband and marriage looks like ? Are you a masochist ?
What an utter waste of education !

Sorry I am being this harsh on you. I am hardly ever like this but it is hard to see someone continue on a self-righteous destructive life path.

Let me tell you where this story will lead

Option 1 : you stay married unhappily ever after. Even if you both somehow miraculously have a child, the relationship dynamic is unlikely to change. Him - the reluctant husband. You - over eager self sacrificing wife.

Option 2 : After another depressing 2 years, roughly at the 4 yr mark you will realize this marriage has no future. You will be fed up & divorce. Then you will begin searching anew after a few years while you cry bitter tears over being so stupid in giving away your most fertile years to an asshole. At that time you may recall our frantic, repeated chants of quitting the marriage early.

I wish there was a happier THIRD option but i I dont see that happening. Goodluck !!

 

Op, do your in laws know that your dh still keeps contact with his ex. Have you any time had fights in front of mil discussing the topic of ex. How hard it must be for you to hear all the stories and facts so nicely explained by your husband. I wonder how you react to him.

Don't let him know that you read his chats. Concentrate in your studies and try to get a good job. I don't think your husband will go back to her however hard the ex tries. He has been used by her but he doesn't have the guts to shut her off. And the ex knows this very well and she uses him emotionally even now through chats. She has been used by many and will be used in future also, and she knows your husband will be readily available to her until he takes a firm decision to block her from his mind and chats.

Your husband has some positives too. He might change his perceptive about you once you get a good job. If not, then you can think of divorcing him.

His mom is behaving really weird. Was she not aware of the family status before the marriage.