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please advise for these problems...

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by meenu25, Jan 10, 2012.

  1. meenu25

    meenu25 New IL'ite

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    hi ladies,
    we got married 3 1/2 yrs over... trying for baby..nothing happening...we are consulting doc last 3 months only...its too late ...now am 25 completed...lot of tension ...my dh takes more care on me while in laws are not here....we alone staying here...they 'll come once in a month and stay...at that time they are not allowing us to speak..if 'm asking my husband to one question...same time they 'll ask him some unrelated question what i asked....that 15 to 20 days is a horrible time for me...is this normal...or am over acting for this...dont know please tell me....they are not keep the house clean.am working women..after going home i couldnt clean the house ....if we both alone are here na ...'ll maintain the house clean...keep the things in alloted place...but they are not doing like that...while they are stayin here while entering the house itself i felt like headache..if the house is clean na our mind will be fresh..me and DH like that kind of atmosphere..so we both like to keep the house clean..i couldnt tolerate these things....my BP is increasing because of that...dont know what to do...last time they came for 15 days ...that time what i did...daily evening after going home 'll start cleaing...so night and morning while we are starting house was clean...again eveing the same thing it was messy...so i got irritated....now they came and staying here....i left it ..i didnt do anything...
    i got so tensioned....actually this time my period got delayed 4 days ... i felt happy ..but now i got periods...

    dont know how to handle these type of irritations and juts left it free ..please advice me....also if they came my husband also changing...he wont ask anything...he fears to ask them....
    these 2 3 days a he s not speaking normally...i asked him why you are behavin like this ..if somebody comes na why you are changing and looking at me a third person ..

    ladies please advise me ...nowadays am feelikg like : " if i'm not with me also he wont feel. his parents 'll take care of him. i didnt get pregnant. if i'm not with him also nothing lack for him. he felt happy when he s with other people except me".

    dont know why am feeling like this ...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 12, 2012
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  2. daffny

    daffny Silver IL'ite

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    hi meenu dont get tensed. I think you are taking hormone tablets for pregnancy. so you get mood swings like these. it is common the house becomes messy when guests come home. don't get tensed for that. if you keep cleaning every day they will also understand and start keeping things in the place as you do. if you are working and get tired get a maid for cleaning in the evenings. once after getting kids house will become more messy than now. that time you will not even think or get time to clean and keep things at the right places even for days or weeks.

    be relaxed with more prayers. lots of baby dust to you.
     
  3. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    First of all remove from your mind that 25 age is too late for baby. I would say 25 is too too young to take big resposibility of new life. At this age you should focus on your career and save money for yourself. Very important thing never ever think of bringing baby if you are not 200% sure about your happy healthy marriage life. First sort out your problems with your in laws, see if you can explain your dh and he supports you or not. Baby will not make you closer to your dh infact it will make you more dependant on him emotionally, physically and financially and you will be stucked in bad marriage forever. Go through millions of womens thread in this section and "relationship with in laws" section. That will give you some insight about your future. Good luck
     
  4. sindura16

    sindura16 Bronze IL'ite

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    Meenu ...

    Its not late now a days...by the time you are done with education adn 2yrs of job ..its 25...

    so take a chill pill for everything...keep it cool...take one thing at a time...

    you know your inlaws are here every month right, so try and build your relationship with them nicely...first thing when you come home ask him how was their day...bring them something they like from outside...then house atmosphere will be nice and your hubby is happy and you will be tension free...

    when you plan for a baby ...you cannot be restless and thinking of unnecessary things which are not important....right now your priority is a kid and your hubbys love...so concentrate on that...

    leave the house the way it is...come on...take a break...live lifeeeeeeeeee
     
  5. delightedmom

    delightedmom New IL'ite

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    hi meenu
    i completely agree with sindura16 above..
    seems like you are under stress. 25 is not old at all dear infact i should say its early.. don worry the more relaxed you are the more you are going to enjoy sex and the more chances of you conceiving.. moreover dony make it a chore for you or you are going to put off your husband too. take things lightly..
    as for inlaws you cant change their behavior so do not worry about it.. just accept it that way.. and let it be so when they are there.
    as for ur husband not minding you most of the husbands behave similarly when their family is around.. you be your normal self and try reaching him and finding out what is going on in his mind...

    if you arw so tense its not going to help.. take care of urself dear and your hubby keep loving each other and soon a lovely child will come out of your life.. please relax and enjoy life.. its too precious to be wasted like this..
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 12, 2012
  6. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    25 is not late. even girls married at 21-22 are waiting till 26-27 to conceive. You seem to take tension very easily. you shd relax a little mentally. Go for meditation or yoga. Do something to relax your mind after work. Remember to conceive also this is important.
     
  7. Chandrika82

    Chandrika82 Silver IL'ite

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    Meenu, you are just 25. We have ladies on this forum who have conceived post 30. You have a lot of time on your hands. Good that you have started consulting a doctor. Make sure that you are consulting a fertility specialist, and not just a regular ob-gyn.

    Coming to home cleanliness, c'mon.. I would say you are definitely over-reacting. Just go through the 'Relationship with In-Laws' forum here. In the bigger picture, I would say this is just a very minor irritant, and nothing to get tensed about and get your BP raised !!

    You are both working, so why cant you just hire a maid to keep the house spic and span? If you are in chennai, its not difficult or very expensive to get a part time maid who can come in for 2 or 3 hours a day and do the full cleaning? That will give you peace of mind and to your DH as well. These are simple solutions to avoid getting stressed out over very simple issues.

    Good luck on your TTC journey. Baby dust to you.
     

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