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Phone calls between parents and pil

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by droplet, Jan 3, 2014.

  1. droplet

    droplet Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,

    this is going thru my mind for quite sometime.
    i have been witnessing this for more than a year and a half now.
    let me explain... My parents used to call my in laws to wish them for pongal, diwali, new year etc... But my in laws have never initiated a call to wish my parents... They don't even call to say a hi... But wen my parents call them their readymade answer will be " ohh I was thinking of you... Just now thought to call you.. It's been a long time we spoke...blah blah "
    this year I don't want this to happen so I called my parents to wait and see if they are calling you at least once... Never happened..
    My dad always have this attitude of not taking anything seriously and said "what is there in these small things... It's just to wish them a new year... " :bang dad called them in the evening to wish them.
    Even my mom used to call my mil just to say a hi before but mil never ever calls at least once..... But mom has stopped this habit now.

    my view in general let it be anyone friends or family the relation should be two way. hope I am not rude or cunning... Just my past experiences led me to think this way... Believe me I was not this way before , I try to keep my dignity.

    what do you think ladies ...?? Your views please ??
     
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  2. vibha_81

    vibha_81 Gold IL'ite

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    Frankly it is a very small thing...As long as your in-laws are cordial with your parents does it matter who calls? Men generally do not care about who calls whom etc..
     
  3. aamrapali

    aamrapali Gold IL'ite

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    I agree with you.
     
  4. gauridinesh

    gauridinesh Platinum IL'ite

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    Your dad is right. Just because they dont do the right thing - you dont have to stop doing it.
     
  5. mcutiepie

    mcutiepie Gold IL'ite

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    This is a very common thing in indian society... ILs feel egostic to call our parents... its not just that my ILs dont call my parents... my SIL's ILs also never call my ILs. It all depends upon family culture and thinking... Dont take it on heart... your dad is right... and there are so many such ridiculous things in our society, few of which have changed with time... rest will take time to change.
     
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  6. coolpinky

    coolpinky Platinum IL'ite

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    Its the same thing everywhere. Same with my case. My mom doesnt call my ILs for festivals. She would call them only if there is any occasion.
    I dont have words to describe my ILs in this aspect.
    But they call one of their relatives who are infact younger to them early in the morning for all the festivals. I sometimes feel sad about this but there is nothing we can do.
    I dont compel my mom either to call them. Sometimes I just tell her to be in touch only with my DH and nothing else.
    On the new year eve my mom called DH to wish and asked him to give the phone to my MIL so that she can wish her too. I think my MIL was awake at that time by wantedly did not take my moms call because she doesnt want to face her because of the lecture I took to her during some recent row.

    Otherwise it is better to be this way.

    Coming to your case If your dad is calling them and if he has no issues then let him continue. One way its better if the male members are in touch as it is not that harmful.
    If your mom does not prefer to talk to your MIL then leave it to her.
    If your MIL raises this issue anytime, just brush it off saying that there is nothing like not willing to speak. Everything is fine.
     
  7. oysterzzz

    oysterzzz Gold IL'ite

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    neither my ILs call my parents, neither my parents call them. Not even for festivals. They are happy like that. Why should we interfere. I never force them, neither stop them about any calls or any talks. But we make sure that we (hubby n I) call both the parents for any festivals or bdays. small issue. Please don't waste your time and peace of mind thinking too much about this. If your dad is comfortable then let him. Let him show his dignity.
     
  8. droplet

    droplet Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you ladies for sharing your views. I know this is very Very Small thing comparing to other posts here.. I posted this in relationship forum because the last such incident happened with il's ... Person a calling person b every time but never the other way...
    even there are some of my friends who do this... But then I stopped calling... I will return a call only who for those wants to keep in touch. Following this habit for past three four years...
     
  9. RADIODOC679

    RADIODOC679 Gold IL'ite

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    The story is very common.I am so used to it.My inlaws nEVR EVEN WISHED MY PARENTS FORANY THING<NOR DID THEY EVEN CALL TO CONDONE MY GRANDMA"S DEATH.Whilst my parents call them up for everything.Since my mom had bad-rather worst of worst inlaws inclusding MIL,SIL(worst lot on earth)She is panicky that from our side nothing should be left out.Pity the poor thing.Tried telling her chill but she never listens-So left it to them-What i do id if either calls & tells tell your mother this ....or wish your inlaws this ...I SIMPLY DONT DO-THAT'S IT!!!!
     
  10. mcutiepie

    mcutiepie Gold IL'ite

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    My dear... your terms with friends are very much different than these relations.. dont mix them or compare... just relax and leave this to parents and ILs in the way they want it to be...
     
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