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Past : Able To Forget But Still Not Forgive

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by abc00, Nov 24, 2019.

  1. preeti6years

    preeti6years Senior IL'ite

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    This is where exactly I am now. Unable to get over the past though I have forgiven them. The scars are so deep that it pains even now when I remember the horrific incidents. Its exactly the same in my house too. My MIL is very sweet to my BIL and cosister, reason being they are away. She never says a word against them.
    Whereas she was not even talking in a softer tone to me. Always shouting and authoritative. Upon questioning this recently, the golden reply what she gave was that I am a headache to her since day one.
    Right from day one it was she who saw to it that my H developed negativity against me and my family. She spoke negative things about me to all of her relatives and even or house owner. She made me to slog like a maid and yet called me lazy. BIL silently supported his mom at this stage and encouraged DH to complain more and more about me. Paralelly he understood his mom very well and noted things very carefully. He implemented all his learnings in his personal life and hence still he continues to be a good son inspite of being a good husband too.
    As mentioned by OP, my H though he knows all this, defends his mom to the max extent possible (he agreed all his mom atrocities and his bro politics when I was pregnant. Thats all together a different angle).
    But now I started realising that this bitterness is taking me nowhere. I am feeling more tired than ever. I feel stressed for no reason. I get angry unnecessarily when I remember my past. I am not able to njoy by babys childhood. Somewhere I felt that holding on to such a bitter past is eating me away.
    Hence after that massive show down happened a month ago, I have decided to treat them as non existent in my life. I will never mess up my life because of them again. I hope god gives me strength to be this way for the rest of my life
     
  2. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    Best reply to that type of treatment is 'indifference'. Completely ignore her words or actions. Do your duties. And be very happy. That will 'kill' her. Let her get confused. Good that your dh understand it now. Complaining wont help. Live your life to the fullest. If past come to your mind, consciously push your mind to stop thinking about it. Even one second is not worth spending on someone who dont deserve it. Fill your mind with positivity.
     
    shreepriya likes this.
  3. Rainbow147

    Rainbow147 New IL'ite

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    Everyone says to ignore. But sometimes I feel ignoring is tough when you r deeply hurt and still have to deal with them daily.
     

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