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Parking Gear

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Viswamitra, Jan 13, 2019.

  1. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    “Sir, I am doing very well. My health has been stable, and my wife had a successful surgery and is out of her pain now. My daughter is engaged with a very well qualified groom of her choice and my son is performing academically well. I have risen in my career from the ranks to this level. There is one thing that bothers me. Am I a few months away from a major disaster or crisis in my life? Do I deserve all this good news or is this calm before a major storm?”

    “Sir, I have been on a ditch for a while and I am trying not to dig any further. My health has been on a downward spiral for a while. My wife is on medication for deep depression. My son joined Medical School but dropped off after a year and he is currently pursuing something I don’t understand. My daughter is in love with a guy that I am very nervous about. I am looking for the light at the end of the tunnel that would keep my hopes high. Will I ever see some bright spot in my life?”

    Why is it so hard for these two to ameliorate their mindset? What is preventing them from enjoying the euphoria of joy which is the mission of every life? Do they need to be on anxiolytic? They both seem to be in bastille territory heavily guarded and appeared to be trapped in an orange jumpsuit forever. Can they get an amulet from a psychic or a Guru who has special skills to protect them from evil? Can they practice Zen meditation? Or can they go on a spiritual path to achieve apotheosis? What is one thing that trapped them both in this quagmire? One appears to be leading a dream life yet trapped in anxiety of future forever while the other appears to be trapped into deep state conspiracy of the past thinking the life is going to be full of thorns killing any traces of hope.

    Our mind is a cauldron of thoughts and our inner friend is constantly claiming the importance of its analytical skill. It has stored every minuscule detail of our past experiences burned with emotions carefully and brings it into our mind’s eye within fraction of a second in order to express its dominance. It has unlimited ability to forecast the future also quickly. When one is filled with so many exciting news, it tends to neutralize our thoughts with a little bit of possible future problems while someone is constantly living in bad news, it tends to neutralize by giving rays of hopes. That process is elongated, and the agitation happens during this transition as our reactions happen on a different frequency than the ability of the mind to address the balancing act. The cauldron of thoughts that is called mind becomes independent and constantly chatter within us with the only purpose to express its dominance. The mind expects us to associate every solution to its capabilities. In fact, the mind has limited to no ability to control anything in this world except its own emotions, feeling and reactions.

    Our inner growth is completely dependent upon the realization that the only way to find peace and contentment is to stop thinking about ourselves. We’re ready to grow when we finally realize that the "I" who is always talking inside will never be content and on the contrary it thrives in chaos. It always has a problem with something. When a problem is disturbing us, we shouldn’t ask, "What should I do about it?" and instead ask, "What part of us is being disturbed by this?" If we ask, "What should we do about it?" we've already fallen into believing that there really is a problem outside that must be dealt with while our problem is in our inner emotions, feelings and reactions.

    To attain true inner freedom, we must be able to objectively watch our problems instead of being lost in them. No solution can possibly exist while you're lost in the energy of a problem. Everyone knows we can't deal well with the situation if we're getting anxious, scared, or angry about it. The first problem we must deal with is our own emotions, feelings and reactions. We will not be able to solve anything outside until we know how the situation affects us inside. Problems are generally not what they appear to be. When we get clear enough, we will realize that the real problem is that there is something inside of us that can have a problem with almost anything. The first step is to deal with that part of us. We need to be in parking gear and understand the surroundings before we decide whether to move it to “drive” or “reverse” mode. We may question that the “park” mode may not get us anywhere but most importantly, it gives us the ability to pause, observe the situations or circumstances outside of us and allow us to watch the indicators in the dash board as well without us committing to anything.
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2019
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  2. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Shri Viswa,
    Liked these lines.
    "We need to be in parking gear and understand the surroundings before we decide whether to move it to “drive” or “reverse” mode. We may question that the “park” mode may not get us anywhere but most importantly, it gives us the ability to pause, observe the situations or circumstances outside of us and allow us to watch the indicators in the dashboard as well without us committing to anything".

    Half of our problems, factual or perceived will be solved if we stop worrying and pause for a while, take a deep breath, a glass of water and relax. Nothing is going to be solved by worrying. But then, it needs a lot of patience and understanding the true nature of problems and their solutions. Not all problems have solutions. Some have to be lived with.
     
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  3. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Viswa,
    Life is neither a bed of roses nor a bed of thorns.
    There is no use of worrying about the past or the future. In an agitated mind taking decisions is difficult. When people facing bad situation they think why God is testing me whereas when they are happy they don't thank God or think about Him. Genarally human nature is like this.
    Most of the people are not matured enough to decide whether to drive forward or to reverse to solve a problem. There are some problems which might get solved automatically without our interference. We should have the patience to tackle the problem instead of making it more problematic.
    PS
     
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  4. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    @Viswamitra Sir,

    You added more thoughts to my mind which is already overcrowded and overwhelmed!

    Well, you have provided the solution too. Recently I read something like (in my words), 'Start with some change somewhere. If not, neither the problems nor the results will change."
     
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  5. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Hari Sir,

    Thank you for your first response and for quoting the lines you liked. Being in the problem ourselves doesn't solve anything. Understanding most of our problems are beyond our control is another important factor. As you rightly said some are meant for us to live with. :)

    Viswa
     
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  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Smt. Srinivasan:

    Very well said. Worrying solves no problem and actually increases the intensity of our emotions to the problems. A lot of what we face is out of our control and even if it is in our control, it requires clear mind to address them.

    Viswa
     
  7. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Geeta,

    Thank you for your response. Instead of asking, "What should I do about it?", we must ask, "What part of it is being disturbed by this?" The intensity of the problem is directly proportional to the intensity with which the mind analyses it.

    Viswa
     
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  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Platinum IL'ite

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    Absolutely it is distilled truth. Kudos to your another best among YOUR LIFE -line- LESSONS.
    2. Such a dilemma experienence I suffered in the past one such I narrated in my Dad & I - An Introspection - Disciplined Approach
    3. It is said hurry worry and curry results in ulcer but it is also true that those would lead to catastrophic decision. A pause WITH LEVER BUTTON IN PARK And passageof time manytimesfound cure things without much hassle.
    Thanks and Regards.
     
  9. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sri Thyagarajan:

    I really enjoyed reading the thread you have quoted. Yet another example of how our emotions, feelings and reactions could destroy our ability to think rationally. A calmer mind gets to the solution quickly while agitated mind only spins out conspiracies and possible theories and send us on a wild goose chase.

    Viswa
     
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  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Platinum IL'ite

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    This made me nostalgic and reminded my late mother.
    2. She would not sit worrying happily for long. She would go in attacking mode the part that causes disturbance. To persons visiting her telling their woes, she would suggest to keep aside a time only to worry about and finish with it.
    3. An advancing army caravan, carrying food blocked for long as the truck in front could not clear the roof by about half an inch - underneath a rail (road) bridge. While the top man brooding about the problem, a boy found the solution and he suggested to him. It was done and lo the caravan moved ahead.
    All that the boy suggested was only to deflate the tyres suitably.
    Thanks and Regards.
    God - for sure - deflates the individuals with inflated ego.
     
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