Parenting Successfully Along With Work Life

I like @KashmirFlower response. Give an estimated amount to run the house and the rest keep it as your savings. BUT, do it slowly so that you do not ruffle any feathers. COntinue to give account and say, Dad, XX is what I earned this month, I am giving you YY for houesehold expenses. Rest I am saving for kid's education, unexpected expenses etc. Invest it somewhere, open a separate bank account. I am assuming that your H earns more than you. So he contributes more. Say you get a raise or a bonus, put that in your account. As time passes and other issues take center-stage, people tend to not go into much details on how much you earn and how much you contributed so long as the house is run smoothly.

 

Op, I can't imagine following this kind of a schedule even for a day. I just don't understand why you would kill yourself with such a hectic schedule and then hand over your money to your fil. Is your life meant to be running on a hamsters wheel like this? The problem is you. You are not standing up for yourself for something as trivial as keeping a cook. You are taking up too much in your plate and once you start doing it you will not be able to back out . Don't know what is your equation with your hubby, in laws. But don't take things lying down. When your mil doesn't cook food for you and your kids, bring the roof down, throw tantrums. You are not accountable to anyone. Not for your money . Be vocal. What's stopping you.

 

Ok, going back to work means no financial benefits to you and you hand over everything to fil and it’s not to make your life any better (just worse!) , why go back to work at all?

Remember you are not super human being or a slave! Tell them what’s realistically possible - when u go back to work - you are not going to be able to pick up and drop off kid and work late and come back to cook for them all. Something, somebody else has to give. Assign husband to do pickup drop off ... if he can’t be bothered with household responsibilities ... You leave cleaning with mil bcos she’s willing to take that.. And let her cook for herself and fil. You hire a cook to cook for the rest, make dosa batter etc (add ons) and do laundry and fold clothes etc. You can focus on work and take care of kids - feeding them breakfast, dinner and homework playing with them etc. If they can’t be bothered, you can’t be bothered to go back to work too.

Everybody else is benefiting from you going back to work, except you and your kids. Don’t make it easy on them. If you don’t stand up for yourself, nobody will. Look how fast they all learn to adjust when you stand up for yourself.

And don’t handover everything you earn to FIL. Open a new account and transfer half of it or whatever you are comfortable with into it and don’t breathe a word about bonuses, or hikes. Keep adding them to your account. Financial independence for women is extremely important.

 

A working mom to two boys 24 and 18 years old. With a career of 28= years of working and taking care of house and kids has become a routine but never the less I have given time to both the working and personal life. It is not easy to maintain and make time for all of us but we need to be patience and work hard towrds the family.

Today kids are grown but still their demands are more not any less. I feel kids until the age of 12 years or so can be easy to handle and make them understand as they dont have much demands at this age. As they grow up the demands grow and they are very restless. They want us to listen to them and do according to their taste and keep them happy.

I am lucky to have the kids who do most of their work on their own.