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Over Protective Parent - Am I

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by Vedhavalli, Apr 26, 2018.

  1. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    My query is am I a over protective mom?
    Whenever there is a potluck, outing with friends or family, even a play date or at park. I keep not more than 10 feet distance from my DD who is 4 yrs. I always keep watching her, never let her go out of sight even for second.
    Recently we met for a potluck, where one lady let her child play (didn't bother a min ) with other kids who were running outside the house.
    That lady or her husband didn't bother a said they must be here. Why your taking so much tension, being over protective is bad, as I was constantly running behind my dd or watching her.
    I think I'm not over protective, I just watch her always. I feel until kids are big enough parents should keep them eyes distance
    With so much crimes going around. I feel the world is not safe.
    But some don't bother chit chat when kids play or run outside, go to other's house etc come back after 2 hrs.
    If older kids means fine, 3-5 yr kids? Aren't they small?
    I keep getting comments like I'm over protective...
     
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  2. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

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    Keeping your daughter on a short leash in a way that a curious child might strain at it is altogether different from keeping a discreet, watchful eye on her at all times. The former may be constricting, holding her back, while the latter may allow her to venture out and explore in safety.

    I have cited this quote, below, multiple times on IL, so what's one more? :facepalm:

    The psychologist John Bowlby, the founder of "Attachment Theory":
    "Life is best organized as a series of daring ventures from a secure base".

    As long as you serve as that secure base for her daring ventures and not as a ball & chain, your daughter will be fine. Ignore the naysayers.

    This is a topic of lively debate in the United States, so much so that it has reached the courts, as everything appears to do here, eventually!:lol:

    See:
    Free-range parenting dilemma.
    Utah's free-range parenting law.
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2018
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  3. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you @sokanasanah .. I just watch her do not restrict her, she is not the one too who can be restricted.
     
  4. sreekripa2002

    sreekripa2002 New IL'ite

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    I think you are doing right. You may stop doing that when your daughter is older. At this age she needs your protection.
     
  5. sumalynux

    sumalynux IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes even I have noticed mommies chit chat.

    Even though I talk to mommies, I keep an eye on him. And when my son wants to go away n play. I say excuse n go near him rather talking to friend. At least 7 or 8yrs I am little scared

    I was scared seeing a ladies kid going really far from park running around. It takes a min to kidnap kid. I am personally very scared.
     
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  6. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    How can one be so careless even after so many cases of kids in news? Overprotective is not letting our kids to try something new. Keeping an eye is necessity and should not be taken casually.
     
  7. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Why? What's wrong with mommies chit-chatting?
     
  8. Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, you are not over-protective but a caring mom doing the right thing. Keeping an eye on a little kid and being not farther than a few feet away from your child at all times is essential from a safety perspective. To tell you about a related incident, I recently had a friend over with her kid at my home for a play date with DD. DD & her son both under 5, decided to play in the patio. We thought it's fine, it's a good day let them get fresh air & play with toys there (our patio wall is high, so thought it's ok). We both were watching from inside, a few feet away. Within seconds in the middle of the conversation, my friend suddenly yelled out her kid's name shouting "Stop, stop" & ran out in the patio. Her kid had somehow managed to hang over the edge with his arms and was bending over & looking down and had she missed it that second he would have fallen over (our patio is on level 2)!! We both were shocked and thankful for hours after that. Kids are unpredictable & one can never be sure as they are constantly exploring and trying new things. Better that a mom be over-protective (though I call that dutiful) than be sorry. You are doing the right thing OP.
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2018
  9. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

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    I don't think you are over protective at all..in fact continue monitoring the child till 5-6 years completion..
    Sometimes small kids get reckless and attempt stuff that's dangerous, only they don't know it..like climbing and jumping in unsafe places, eating stuff that's non edible, playing with toys that are not safe for younger kids.
    Sometimes kids try to intentionally hurt younger kids who are physically smaller and weaker, specially boys do that..
    It's true that crime rates are increasing, nothing wrong in being safe..
    Your child is your responsibility , so be as protective as you want to be , if someone else wants to be easy going with their kid it's their choice.
     
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  10. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Do what you feel is right when it comes to parenting and protecting your child. Dont be apologetic about it !
     
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