Outsourcing Parenting?

bharthi · Aug 28, 2006

Hi All,

20 years ago, I learnt to ride a bicycle from my dad. Even today, I crisply remember the hot summer days when he would tirelessly run behind me as I learnt cycling. He was so patient and never scolded me for not learning it fast. Those events helped make the father-daughter bond that exists intact till date.

I recently learnt that for $60 an hour a company would teach a kid how to ride a bike. I was wondering what type of a parent would outsource such a wonderful bonding opportunity.

In America, there is a solution for everything if we are willing to pay for it. But many times, we end up paying more than money! Would you outsource this activity? Where is the line?

Bharthi

Varloo · Aug 29, 2006

Dear Bharathi, you are right in a sense. But today many youngersters are very ehavy that the father may find it difficult to help the child. And also the father would not be in good health. My son is 15 and as he is epilaptic he was not to ride bicycle. But now, it is okay and we thought of teaching him. But my husband could not run behind him and I too could not, my son is taller and heavier than me. Actually we are looking out for someone who will teach him cycling. All my brothers are also thin and could not physically handle my son.
But, I learned to ride the cycle with the help of friends, 4 together will rent a cycle and each will take turns in helping the other. But those days were different. Now for children, there is no place to go roaming around, spend their time away from their homes.
Now in India, if both parents work, they wish the school would keep their child in the evenings and even on holidays, so that they will be free. How is that?
Thanks for the info.
With warm wishes,
varloo

Laxmi · Aug 29, 2006

Hi Bharathi, Varloo

Hi all,
Thanks for bringing back my sweet childhood memories. I still remember the days when my cousin taught me to ride a bicycle. It was fun and even I remeber going straight and banging on a stranger when my cousin stopped coming behind my back holding the cycle. Oh those lovely days when we knew nothing abt duties and responsibilities. Wish we cld go back and relive those innocent days.

Now this is how my daughter learnt bicycle. We got her a cycle with support wheels so no hassles of running behind her back. But neverthless I used to be in the play area along with her looking at how she is coping up with the new skill. when she has mastered the balance and control, I just removed the support wheels and now she rides very well.

Oh boy ! here in India almost all the husbands ( atleast in our apartment) come up very late in the evening say 9 or 10 pm and still later. No matter whether your husband is in software or engg. or marketing, that is the regular timing.
So we never depend on our hubbies in child care. After all we are smart enough to handle and teach our kids new skills.

Kamla · Aug 29, 2006

Dear Bharthi...

I had no idea that you can 'hire' a person to teach cycling to your child! The demands to live and hold your head up is driving people to resort to whatever venues are available to them, even running after someone else's kid! I have no problems with it as long as it is an honest living.
I see the point you are driving at. These parent-child acitivities are precious and bonding. Nothing can replace them and those of us who have had these experiences are the lucky ones. True, what some parents are paying for these facilities is more than money.
On the other hand, like in Varloo's son's case, it is a blessing that such help is available. But on the whole, the time you spend with your child in raising him/her and teaching the mundane little things to them are really special and today's young parents and unfortunately, their children, are losing out on some special bonding and sweetness. I see many young parents in US send their little ones away to India to their grandparents as they are too busy here with their jobs to raise them. Well, I for one cannot understand the meaning of having kids in the first place. It beats me!

L, Kamla

Varloo · Aug 29, 2006

Dear Kamla,
yes, even I can't understand why people give birth to children and then hand over them to be brought up by somebody else. If one can;t raise a child, one should not give birth.
About teaching children, I hope you all will find this one amazing. All the babies in this world (almost all) are born with the basic instinct of hunger and they start sucking their thumbs very soon as they are born. But my son was born premature and did not have this instinct. One of the nurses who took care f him, taught him to suck with the help of a syringe, while she was in the night duty. And I have taught him so many things that we usually take granted for, like tearing paper, using a pair of scissors, holding a glass full of liquid, eating by himself,buttoning, tieing shoe laces, wearing a socks and many other things. I always say that God was in a hurry to send him, so forgot to teach him all these.
With warm wishes,
varloo