Outsourcing a Womb???

Shanvy · Nov 14, 2008

(Dear Friends, I know there are lot of you out there who are trying to conceive, and as I did not want to hurt anybody's feeling, I have posted it here in my blogs rather than as a discussion in the forum. If somebody feels hurt, I say sorry in advance..it is just my thought process on the commercial surrogacy)

Yesterday my maid, was telling me that her friend(A) who works in the same neigbourhood was discussing about going in for renting her womb to an NRI couple who are the son and daughter in law in the house she works… I was shocked...though I have heard a lot about it, but to know somebody so near willing to do it… this is the reason had to leave arguments part 2 pending

Well the idea has started, when they heard the news of the Japanese father whose case was highlighted by the media.

My maid said, that A justified that it would help in securing the future of her sons, as they were willing to pay the going rate. She asked me the details, if there is any going rate for that, though I told her I said, I don’t know the legalities of the issue of surrogancy, it would be better if you try to get the details from somebody who works for a social organization. She also said that the couple/parents did not want any body's child, they wanted their own blood..it set me thinking…..

The story of the Japanese father according to the papers is Baby Manjhi was conceived when a Japanese couple paid a clinic in India to have the husband's sperm and an anonymous donor's egg implanted in the womb of an Indian surrogate. And the Indian adoption laws does not allow a single man to adopt. The reason being, the Japanese couple got a divorce a few months…(well looks like manjhi had to go through too much of red tape before going to Osaka)

Is it easy to rent your womb?. Though have read a few ads in the back pages of Woman’s Era as early as the 90’s, and watching movies that tackled the subject, but, never gave it much thought until this lady came knocking. It lead me to study a little on surrogacy ..oh there is so much on the topic though..

What is surrogacy, its a method of reproduction whereby a woman agrees to become pregnant and deliver a child for a contracted party. She may be the child's genetic mother (the more traditional form of surrogacy), or she may, as a gestational carrier, carry the pregnancy to delivery after having been implanted with an embryo. There are people who have done it for altruistic reasons.

But I wonder more on the commercial surrogacy business that is booming in india, called reproductive tourism, with the Akanksha clinic in Anand (Gujarat), which was once famous for the operation white flood), run by Dr.Patel (who says there are genuine reasons, though I have my own arguments again). The clinic is supposed to be a roaring success from the inception.

Most of the surrogates are locals who can only sign the contracts with thumb impressions. They do get compensations of around $5k to 7k$. and the whole process of coming to India, getting your egg/sperm and then the baby costs only around 12000$ compared to $70,000 in the US after going through all the procedures, and UK has more stringent laws, I think it is illegal too.not sure and is time consuming too.
No reason, some estimates, Indian surrogacy is already a $445-million-a-year business, and there are pressures from lot of counters to make laws for surrogacy and also making it a legal one..

This is one picture that is doing rounds at the internet..and it left me pondering for the whole night….

I wonder, how could a mother, just could give away the baby after bonding with it for 9 months. Even if it meant the future of their family is secure, is it reason enough for all the mental, emotional stress and trauma.

Why is the need to have your own DNA so compelling, that you resort to other means.

I do not want to hurt the sentiments of childless couples, I am truly sorry, (you may question, what do you understand about not having a child.) but you give hope to another child by adopting it, showing more humanity than this.

Somewhere in IL i had read about adopted children being described as children of the heart, how nice if only people come forward and accept it...

What do you think about it….

hasita · Nov 14, 2008

Dear Shanvy,
That's a very subjective and debatable topic you have touched upon, not to mention sensitive!!

I too wonder how someone could part with the child after "looking after it" for 9 months! I am sure there must be cases where the "carrying mother" refuses to do so, and I have read about it much earlier.

Too many legalities associated with it, acc. to me. But to each his/her own, I say. Even I had considered this option at one point, but going a bit more into detail regarding it, and it didn't appeal very much to us.

As I said earlier, each family is different, and many couples, even if they are for adoption, families may not be supportive. So they may probably consider this route.

As for commercial surrogacy, it is an extremely dicey step again, and the legal points have to be very clear to all parties before stepping in.

Kudos to you for bringing out a subject like this. Definitely hope to hear more viewpoints on it.
best,
hasita

Mindian · Nov 14, 2008

dear shan,
a very interesting topic but of course each to his own. i suppose...
i have also only seen movies and there was a nice malayalam movie(when surrogacy was very new at least in india)where a lady agrees to be the surrogate mother for money to cure her sick husband but later is so emotionally attached to the baby that she doesnt stick to her part of the contract...
i too wonder about the emotional strain on the new mother...and isnt adoption an easier process mentally ,financially,emotionally for all the concerned parties?
is your maid really going ahead with it?..i too would have been shocked to hear someone i know going thru it...
love
Mindi

leelal · Nov 14, 2008

Dear Shanthi,

This is a very interesting and sensitive topic indeed.
Ours being a ladies forum, we must appreciate your gentle way of bringing this topic to us and this has to be analysed with emotions and sentiments.

The whole process of surrogacy can be looked in today's world as an essential process to address

1. Less fertility rate in this gen due to the new lifestyle
2. Power of money demands to own the child through the use of own sperm so that some genetic qualitites can be seen in the child.
3. Though adopting a child from different families is possible as an alternate solution, the basic genetics would display some character traits when the child grows up and after 10-12 years with the current system, the Parents would start wonder why they adopted the child.
4. Outsourcing to Indian mother's ensures some more patriotic/religious mind in the new born.
5. Cost saving for the needy and an easy solution for the poor to earn a good money within 2 years time.
6. Surrogacy mothers are mentally prepared through Dr's counselling from day one abt the ownership of the child. [This is what I have read and heard ]. Moreover, usually this is volunteered by poor ladies who would have got married at the age of 13-15 and trying hard to save their children. They have more years in hand to give birth to many more and no commitments on any permanent job. So emotionally also, these surrogacy mothers are prepared to disown her child after birth.

On the contrary, there should be some regulation in the system so that people shouldn't exploit this route just to climb their career ladder or to protect their external physical beauty. Strict Regulation checks should definitely be on the age of the couple (45+), the failure rate of their pregnancy, reasons etc.

The problem in India is that Doctors in Hospital and govt agencies can be bought by paying few hundreds or thousands more and the entire system will be utilised as a money making process.

If we broaden the concept, its like donoring one of your organ like kidney, eyes or heart after death. Here women are donoring their womb for a year to produce a complete Product with life called Child and donates the same to the Owner/care taker. This is LIFE...for the Owner.

As everyone says, as long as its done by somebody, its ok for us to digest. But some one whom we know and see everyday, we have problem in digesting the news and we are stuck with negative emotions.

muzna · Nov 14, 2008

dear shanthi
you wrote well and on a hot topic.
reality is -always- stranger than fiction.
and one person's reality might be another one's fiction. we do not realise what other people are doing and undergoing in this very world. when surrogacy was not possible the decision was not required , but with the availability of any thing the weight of a decision has to be taken as these decisions have a lifelong effect. eg. if a wifes ays no and the DH cribs later on or vice versa. or if the couple says no but the older generation does not listen. they would get their sons married the second time for a child or just for a son, and now when they can afford to use the facilities provided by science, why should they not take it up.
this is just one walk of life , we see these things in so many instances in life , when GOD gave us the abilities, he gave us concience too. how we use it is upon us.
if we try to make life easy for the people who have any lacking / challanges, i think we help them to take proper decisions in life.

Nivedi · Nov 14, 2008

Shanthi,

Baby bearing and rearing has taken new dimesions over the years. While procedures like IVF are here to help couples tide over childlessness, these are also misused by some people wanting to have only male children.

Custom made babies are also the order of the day. People can walk over to a sperm or egg bank and ask for the sperm or egg of a person with certain traits.

Lack of clear rules worked in Manjhi's case leaving her without a national identity.

sujsree · Nov 15, 2008

Dear Shanthi,

This topic is beyond human tendancies and we have solid testimonials from our puranaas.The son of God concept is also based on this.
Now technolgy is supporting the cause.Puranaas are pioneers in the field of what people call nowadays as
" modern medical features" .
This article is a very positive article to be discussed to create awareness.
reg,
sujatha sreenivasan

PushpavalliSrinivasan · Nov 15, 2008

Dear Shanthi,
An interesting thought provoking blog. Surrogate motherhood has come to stay as a medical advance and a boon to childless couple.But I feel that majority of Indians will hesitate to go in for this.
I am quoting from Leela's FB.

. Though adopting a child from different families is possible as an alternate solution, the basic genetics would display some character traits when the child grows up and after 10-12 years with the current system, the Parents would start wonder why they adopted the child.

The same argument is valid for a surrogate child also. The surrogate mother's character trait also could be inborn in the child. It is very difficult to scrutinize a surrogate mother's character unless we know her and her family personally.
There should be stringent laws for this also as adoption laws. Otherwise illiterate women would be exploited by greedy doctors and hospitals.
Love,
Ps

purnima_2k · Nov 15, 2008

Dear Shanvy,

Its a very good topic, creates awareness amongst people that such things do exist.

I would like to highlight here that one of my old neighbours, went in for surrogate motherhood 6 years back! She couldnt conceive on her own and went to a very good doctor in Chennai and got a baby through surrogation. Since those days these things were completely unheard of, she was very shy to admit it and said the baby was adopted. Only very few of us knew the truth. She was so embaressed(but extremely elated that she finally had a baby on her own) that she left Chennai and settled in Coimbatore!!!!

But the fact that she had a baby changed her life forever! She became more socialising, better tempered, and more focussed in life.

Great article Shanvy, stimulating and encouraging...

Love,
Purni

Devika Menon · Nov 15, 2008

Dear Shan ,

There have been a lot of debatable issues about surrogacy.
Let me tell you i completely relate to your views.
Well personally I think its better to adopt a kid and give the child the love and affection that they are craving for. Its absolute bliss. Believe me, we have an adopted kid in the family and nothing has been more blissful . My sister preferred adoption to surrogacy.

Most of these foreigners and NRIs find it more economical to go through these procedures here. These things abroad do cost a fortune and is considerably less for them if you see the dollar rupee exchange ratio.

And the poverty stricken sector of this country put up their womb for sale, to see their loved ones settle. I guess for them is to sacrifice one love( their infant) for the sake for the others. Well I too feel that for a woman who develops a bonding withthe child the moment the foetus is concieved , it is very difficult to give the infant away after 9 months. There was even a movie on this in hindi "Chori chori chupke chupke" , I guess.

Shan I can understand how this kept you awake all night , the issue is such.

Love,
DM