Hi, I am feeling handicapped by my own opinion of others and the world. It blocks me from forming outside connections / relationships or just lead a calm life or go after my ambitions. A simple example, I don't get why a lot of women focus a lot on dresses, make up, jewelleries etc to look beautiful. I believe people are naturally beautiful and a little enhancement would be fine. But sometimes dressing up is the main focus in somebody's life, I sense some discomfort in connecting with that person. I understand it is wrong of me and I don't know how to sidestep that feeling. Another example, if I found a person rude to another person, I won't find it easy to talk to them because I would not have been able to shake off the opinion that I had formed about the rude person. Hope am clear. This is somewhat like a brahmin avoiding to dine with a non vegetarian friend (just saying) or a person of different caste in those days. I don't have these kind of hang ups but am held back by my own opinions. I was talking about this to a friend of mine and she mentioned it is perfect to have good or bad opinions about others but why would it interfere in the way one communicates? I was trying to think along the lines of not forming any opinions at all and just see the person as they are in front of me. I would like to know from you if you operate with or without these thoughts?
This is the one I could recollect immediately. I was like this before(5 years ago may be)Opionated and judgemental enough to lose a close friend as she spilled the beans about somebody else's frictional personal life to the hungry ones who wanted to know. What I understood was when ever am trying to opine/judge am losing them. When i started taking many things on a lighter note/let go I could make many more real friends
Your title is correct- your opinions are holding you back from enjoying other people's company. Why not appreciate your friends other qualities- not just their fashion "vices"? After all, it's only a small fraction of who they are. In my own friendships, I've realized that I'm not good at making timepass friends. My friendships are generally quite deep- connecting either on personal level or familial level. This makes me extremely picky about the people I choose to connect with- I look for similarities in thought and relationship-building (those looking to compare lives and wealth need not apply). Not everyone has to be a close friend- your tribe can consist of the special few who you can share your opinions without judgement.
