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Opinion On Reason For Divorce (someone My Mom Told Me About)

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ATI, Sep 11, 2019.

  1. rgz

    rgz Gold IL'ite

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    The reverse, I am saying I hope you would be blessed (not cursed) to be with your loved ones when needed. I wish your friend could have made the trip for her parents too. That's why I wrote irrespective of gender.
     
  2. Agathinai

    Agathinai Silver IL'ite

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    Thought about this for a while. The husband is at fault for failing to understand his wife. We don’t know the whole story but for someone who had lived for so long didn’t he really understand her feelings at all. No, I don’t think any wife would have kept her feelings inside without venting out to her husband. She would have done that.

    Lesson for other couples. That’s all I can think.
     
  3. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I’ve decided I’m not waiting for these taking care opportunities. I’m going more often to just be there. But I can’t deal with one set of parents here while other can’t come at all.

    You know when she cried she said I wish I’m a man in my next birth so I can go give that spoon of Ganga jal to my dad when he’s in his deathbed. We keep calling it gender neutral but everything is not so gender agnostic. She hadn’t landed for the last rites. She didn’t even get to see him one last time because the brother reached and they cremated. It’s going to take a few more generations before things are really gender neutral.
     
  4. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    Women needs to be assertive and financially independent.

    We cannot stay submissive at important junctures in life in fear of marriage being lost and then later put the blame on bad husband , bad ILS for our inability to stand up ...

    I do understand it is not easy to stand up for self but it has to Be done for things you value.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2019
    startinganew likes this.
  5. startinganew

    startinganew Gold IL'ite

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    That's what I think too - maybe we are the generation (30s/40s/50s) that needs to break this cycle: Focus on our health so that we can live independently till 70s-80s and then move in to a retirement home of our choice (whole-heartedly!).

    We want to have deep and close relationships with our children (and their families) but not impose upon their daily routines/freedoms/flexibilities/career-changes/adventures etc.
     
  6. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    We are. A whole lot of us are voting for trump in 2020 just to do away with the whole family migration green card deal. Na rahegi baaz, Na bhajegi baasuri!
     
    Amica and Sunshine04 like this.
  7. Tryinghard2013

    Tryinghard2013 Silver IL'ite

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    Well said by startingnew! Amazing thoughts expressed.
     
  8. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    Great beginning .... atleast somewhere. But he is also talking about H4 EAD removal ....

    indian parents and sons are too manipulative .... we may see increase in posts saying how to prevent R2I .......

    Let’s hope for the best ....no family based immigration will solve the issue
     
  9. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Sigh those 50K people in the NaMo rally are going to vote for the moron in 2020. I don't think anything good is happening. The people who went for the rally aorund here are going Gaaagaaa over Trump trolling Pakistan. What a bunch of morons. He will say anything to get your votes, get smart. Rant over!

    Boss - I agree with your observation that women have to stand up for themselves. That was the whole premise of the thread. I don't agree that women have to stay, they can be a little selfish and fend for themselves. Basically, if leaving is better for the said spouse, then they should. If staying and fight it out is their thing, then they should do that.

    By and large just fool hardy and indifferent. Which is why it comes as a shock when someone like this Mrs M does leave. Blind sighted because she didn't stay after the kids were no longer around. Which is why I had said in my post that it might be sometimes alright to be a little selfish right from the get go. To put oneself ahead of others. That's also a form of assertion.
     
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  10. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    This is exactly what the poster's Mrs M did. She doesn't care for if it's right or wrong or ill timed I'm sure. She left at an important juncture for something she valued. Why is it so bad then?
     

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