Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ATI, Sep 11, 2019.
Nope. That's not possible
My parents did take care of my dad's parents physically.
No idea about my pils.
That's why women have to take care of themselves and their needs
Cool. Then I too vote for trump
Where is the Desi Gals for Trump tee site. Let's go order a few
Folks, did your parents and PILs physically take care of their PILs by bringing them to their homes?
Mom lived with grandparents (who came as a package deal with 2 of their daughters, their husbands, 4 kids, grandma's parents and sister) and paid all the bills, did all the work before after her full time job for years. And in that time with these 12 leeches feeding, we were sent to family day cares because they won't take care of us as kids. Then we were kicked out of the house. And moved away a few years later because of job transfers. Grandparents lived with one of the aunts who got our farms in exchange to use.
Fast forward many years later, my dad and Grandpa is no more, grandma is old and dying nobody including an uncle who has always lived away, wants her. She is transferred from one cousin to other and hates living at other's houses. At this point mom is well settled in a metro but has so much resentment built up, she doesn't want to have grandma over. She gives money to whoever has grandma. She has all the means but feels she didn't have the support when she needed so much now why would she support them? My heart ached seeing grandma so helpless but she also realized what she did to mom was wrong and she has no right to ask her for anything.
On the PIL side, his grandma died one year after PILs got married and in that year, they did care for her. DH's grandfather though wasn't cared for at all. He lived by himself no physical or financial support till he died.
These cases are a lesson for people around them if not society.
When people realise that they have to pay for their behavior later on in life,they will be more cautious and treat their future caregivers better when they are able bodied.
The guy and his parents are not going to leave the power they have easily. Status quo helps them stay powerful.
We have to change.
Teach our daughters that marriage is just another milestone in life ...not the only or the most important.
Let them know they will have simple marriages .
Let them know we won't be doing kanyadaan or vidaai for their marriage because they will not be given away like cattle but only married.
Let the boys side know before hand about this so that they have no misgivings.
Let everyone know that no dowry will be given. Our daughter will get her share as inheritance after us.
Let everyone know that we as parents will stand by our daughter in thick and thin .
If the guys side talks about a girl belonging to them after marriage...the daughter should be able to tell them to stop living in the past and get real.
The winning of trump I believe is not dependent on the rally goers of another event manager ... he will win anyway .... in my opinion but hope for the opposite and H1s in the 50K lot are going to be the worst effected. I already see so many indians on H1 having to go back or moving to Canada after more increased rejections ..
This is feeling like my story exactly. I have elementary school age kids and husband wants to move his not so old parents already and he does not physically abuse me but is very demanding and gets his work done the way he wants to . I also always have thoughts of kids growing up and may be i will leave hima nd move away from his drama