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Only child in the family. MIL thinks I am unfit for a wife.

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by chicagoadithic, Jul 12, 2012.

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  1. Jul 12, 2012 #1
    chicagoadithic

    chicagoadithic Senior IL'ite

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    MIL thinks I am unfit to be a good wife as i am the only daughter rather the only child of my parents. DH loves me a lot but is unable to say anything to her when she accuses me this. She says i may never be able to mingle with the in-laws as i am the only child. Its just been a month since I have been married. Is it too early for her to pass this judgement?
     
    chicagoadithic, Jul 12, 2012
    chicagoadithic, Jul 12, 2012
    #1
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  2. Jul 12, 2012 #2
    MaritalBliss

    MaritalBliss Platinum IL'ite

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    Huh, what does being an only child have anything to do with being a wife. Just ask her jokingly what is she talking about. Who is she to judge u anyway...the only one who can judge whether u are a gd wife, is yr DH. Do not bother abt yr mil and prove to her that you can be a good wife.
     
    MaritalBliss, Jul 12, 2012
    MaritalBliss, Jul 12, 2012
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  3. Jul 12, 2012 #3
    GodIsOne

    GodIsOne Gold IL'ite

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    It is not a true statement. Mostly It is the single children who wants big family. They try to make the most of the new relationships in life. Be patient and treat their family like yours and prove her wrong.
     
    GodIsOne, Jul 12, 2012
    GodIsOne, Jul 12, 2012
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  4. Jul 12, 2012 #4
    eandian

    eandian IL Hall of Fame

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    Was she in coma when your marriage was fixed? Dint she know that you were an only child when they fixed the marriage? ......oh ya...at that time the focus was something else.....one child inherits everything right?
     
    eandian, Jul 12, 2012
    eandian, Jul 12, 2012
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  5. Jul 12, 2012 #5
    snm1984

    snm1984 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi chicagoadithic,
    I am also the only child,i can relate to you.Why did your mil agree to marriage in the first place if she thought only daughters were unfit to be wife?Don't worry you are in US and hubby loves you a lot.I think we(only daughters) have the tendency to be more sensitive since we get 100% affection from our parents and we really don't know the outside world.I have been on the same boat before,I got easily upset for the things mil said and did.But now have just learned to ignore her.Take care of your hubby well,by your actions itself hubby will tell his mommy you are a great wife :)
     
    snm1984, Jul 12, 2012
    snm1984, Jul 12, 2012
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  6. Jul 12, 2012 #6
    skmeera

    skmeera Silver IL'ite

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    sooooooooooo true.You've hit the nail on the head.Provided if the marriage was arranged.
    If it was a love marriage then it was the son's fault for having fallen for a lone child.
     
    skmeera, Jul 12, 2012
    skmeera, Jul 12, 2012
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  7. Jul 12, 2012 #7
    chicagoadithic

    chicagoadithic Senior IL'ite

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    thanks everyone!
    On top of everything my marriage was totally arranged. I dint enter the house by force. She was more interested in the gifts that were coming from my parents. I totally agree that i can be as affectionate as others as i have been loved a lot. I am more giving compared to my SIL [devrani] coz i have always had more. why doesnt DH say anything when she says this? Can you guys believe i took immigration and I94 forms with me just as in-laws were flying to the USA and it would be helpful for them fill those forms.
     
    chicagoadithic, Jul 12, 2012
    chicagoadithic, Jul 12, 2012
    #7
  8. Jul 12, 2012 #8
    eandian

    eandian IL Hall of Fame

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    I was able to hit the nail on the head because, I am raising a single dd.
     
    eandian, Jul 12, 2012
    eandian, Jul 12, 2012
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  9. Jul 12, 2012 #9
    chicagoadithic

    chicagoadithic Senior IL'ite

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    Well this is really true.... it feels bad when you are treated as a fixed deposit which will mature one day... but why treat it like a piece of paper and insult.
     
    chicagoadithic, Jul 12, 2012
    chicagoadithic, Jul 12, 2012
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  10. Jul 12, 2012 #10
    flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear OP,
    Your MIL cannot say all this now as it was an arranged marriage. If it was ok before why is it bad now?
    Since your DH is loving forget all the comparisons with SIL,anyway it takes time to mingle with a new family and you have been married just a month.
    Dont expect DH to say a word against his Mom, he may never ever say it.
    No expectations, no disappointments!
    Enjoy your honeymoon period , forget MIL and her comments.
     
    flowerlady, Jul 12, 2012
    flowerlady, Jul 12, 2012
    #10
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