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Nuclear Vs Joint family

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by riefa, Dec 14, 2011.

Nuclear or Joint family, which one you prefer

  1. nuclear family

    86.1%
  2. joint family

    2.5%
  3. joint family with boundaries

    11.4%
  1. riefa

    riefa Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear all..
    Do you live independent (you, husband and kids) or in joint family? Suppose you have options to stay independent and managing your small family or stay with in laws as big family, which one would you prefer? Please give reasons.
     
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  2. shyl

    shyl Senior IL'ite

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    I live in an independent family. We do visit family once in a year and prefer to stay independent.
    I prefer independence as we like to live life by our rules. Don't like the do's and don'ts and interference by living in a joint family.
     
  3. rissy

    rissy Silver IL'ite

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    I have tasted the taste of joint family and suffered much. But now no, no not again. If ever I marry again, then I want nuclear family, nuclear family and nuclear family.
     
  4. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    I live in a Nuclear family. I am glad it is so becoz my IL's can make us miserable without batting an eyelid. they still do but its from far off. If in person I wud be in mental hospital.Especially my monsterous SIL.I shudder to think what if we stayed in joint family.I wud have gone crazy in a month.
     
  5. IlovemyMom

    IlovemyMom Gold IL'ite

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    As of now we are independent. In future planning to stay with in-laws. But I don't want to be in a joint family as my in-laws are very cunning.praying to God that it should never happen.
     
  6. lifeisajourney

    lifeisajourney Silver IL'ite

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    my mom stayed in a joint family setup in the initial yers of their marriage but when they started a nuclear family they were with 0savings, thats one big part i dont prefer to stay in joint familt set up. and coming to my family set up, if a joint family set up comes out there you go they get a bonded slave who needs to take permission even to breathe and i will be the big punch bag for all their tantrums... so in short i dont prefer a joint family set up and i know for sure it wont happen any ways...because all the DH siblings are spatially isolated in different countries.
     
  7. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

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    My DH is an only son, so I have no choice. I have to live in a JF. Given a choice, I will opt for a NF any day.
    This also bring us to the question- would you like your brother to live in a JF with your parents or live separately? I think everyone who says NF should answer this as well and honestly. As of me, I don't have a brother, so I don't have a choice there either.
     
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  8. vidyasantha12

    vidyasantha12 Junior IL'ite

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    I like JF but i faced lot of problems.Now am in NF in foreign country. If me and my hus goes to india we have to choose JF . Am ready to face the problems bcos of my FIL . He hurts me and My hus a lot . Never mind watever he says i dont open my mouth bcos my MIL wont support anyone.
    Monita u said so practically...I hav a brthr and my wish is my brthr should stay with my mom bcos no one there to care her except my brthr and me....
    Watever it is JF or NF adjust and be happy..
     
  9. sheel

    sheel Bronze IL'ite

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    I would prefer Nuclear family..Before marriage i used to feel that joint family is good..but now i dont like it..I understand the help which we get from them ..but at the same time..i feel there is no life balance if we stay in JF..follow rules..get up early..sleep early..no time for couple..and moreover ask everybody especially MIL all stuffs..all these irks me..and I wish to stay in a nuclear family..
     
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  10. sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

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    Nuclear family.
    JF works if both parties (MIL-FIL, DH-DW sets) get along fabulously well, or if one party is willing to unconditionally adjust and oblige the other, like DILs did in the previous generations. Not saying that she was definitely happy doing that, but there would be more harmony than if she and say, MIL, were at loggerheads for everything. These days it is neither practical nor reasonable to expect the DIL to bend over backwards as most women are educated, want to break free of unreasonable expectations at ILs', and would much rather maintain a healthy relationship with ILs by living apart.

    Brings me to another point-JF could also imply living with the wife's parents (of which Im seeing more instances lately among family friends). Honestly, in my case I do not know which is worse/better-us living with my PILs who are polar opposites of me/my FOO and are biased against me in some ways; or living with my parents and having to witness and address DH's issues with my parents (who again are complete opposites of his and everything from cooking styles to money management to attitudes is different) and vice versa.

    If I had a bro, I would definitely prefer that they stayed apart and that both me and bro took care of parents' needs. I do not believe that it is only the son's duty to look after his parents.
     
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