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Not Sure If I Am Wrong Or Right! Pls Shar Ur Inputs

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Indeevara, Jul 14, 2018.

  1. Indeevara

    Indeevara Silver IL'ite

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    Of course we shud respect their relationship and give them their space too. But sometimes it hurts when we r so visibly opted out of conversations. Wheras we r very much required for certain other duties as DIL which we have to abide by. It seems conditional which is what bothers me.
    But I am used to all that already and as of now as we r staying away frm my in laws its not of a concern
     
  2. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Silver IL'ite

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    Both FIL and MIL have secrets that they share with my husband. I am not curious if it does not involve me, my kids, our finances and our marriage.
     
  3. mimi77

    mimi77 Gold IL'ite

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    It's however not so correct to talk behind closed doors with a married son that too in his bedroom..... .Relationships undergo certain changes post marriage and every mother of married sons should understand this fact and act accordingly..... ....however in your case the matter could be more simpler and it's not advisable to think otherwise..... Keep your eyes and ears wide open when your in-laws are around to better understand if they have any other motive
     
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  4. Indeevara

    Indeevara Silver IL'ite

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    Yes.. well said and that was my thoughts too.. talking behind closed doors that too of our bedroom .. i agree that mom-son would surely need their time nd in my case they do get plenty of time otherwise .At that point I intentionally don’t interrupt too.
     
  5. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    I have had plenty of conversations with my parents in the bedroom . I have even asked DH to step out so I can talk to them privately. I am not just a wife I am also a daughter and a sister. There are so many things that my parents share with me that my husband is not privy to. There are no secrets nothing to be ashamed of and my parents most certainly aren't badmouthing DH but there are topics that my mom doesn't feel comfortable talking in the presence of DH. Simple as that. Give ur MIL and DH some space .U have a good thing going with ur PIL . Dont ruin it.
     
  6. Indeevara

    Indeevara Silver IL'ite

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    Your points are true but if i am asked to step out that way by my DH i would feel very hurt!
    He can always have conversations with them whn am not around and I knowingly wouldn’t go there if i happen to see that too.
    I wouldn’t ask my hubby to move away too. I just don’t feel thats a good gesture. :relieved:I still get plenty of time to talk with my parents without having to do this

    Apart from such things I agree that my mil is a good support for me and I will always be acknowledged
     
  7. Jemma

    Jemma New IL'ite

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    I feel she is a nice lady. She is taking care of you ..doing so much for the house. There are so many women that want a MIL like that . I would suggest..you should not over think.
     
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  8. mimi77

    mimi77 Gold IL'ite

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    You are only 4 years into marriage.... I have been married for 14 years and my MIL is just like yours... . Till date she does everything starting from cooking to cleaning and does not like interference from anyone in her kitchen space..... She basically does not want to lose control.....may be good for lazy daughter in laws but this I feel is not very healthy in the long run.......Because they manage the kitchen, they generally like to control their adult children's lives too.... You will slowly understand everything as you mature further.....
     
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  9. Indeevara

    Indeevara Silver IL'ite

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    Yeah same here. She does those as she likes to have control on household also. She doesn’t like anybody interfering or helping as she needs to do those on her terms. I too let her do those when she visits us bcos I don’t want her to feel alienated . Kitchen control implies house control - I always feel so
     

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