Nonsense Mil

HI I have read all your previous threads and no where you are coming from, I have read the pain they have caused you.

You may not like my answer but here it goes. Unless your mother in law is physically abusing, mentally etc your son, he and she have a right to have a relationship. My mother in law did so many bad things to me in the last 18 years, horrible things. But I always maintained that as long as she is not abusive to my kid then she can have access to the child and bond. I left it up to my son to determine what he wants to do as he got older. Not to my surprise in teen age years he pulled away from grandparents realizing how horrible they are to me. Now he just maintains a coordial relationship with them , he loves them but does not trust them. You can;t stop your child from having relationship with Grandma. My husband actually tried to stop him and I said no it is against my beliefs. And he respects me to this day for that decision. That way when in laws griped that son does not spend time with them because of me I am teaching, my Husband could fire off truth.

Another thing, you are really paranoid about your mother in law getting info from your son. What is it that you guys do that needs to be kept a secret. None of my business, but you can't train children to say this , not say this, not possible. I bet your son is smart on his own, I bet he does not give up personal info. I remember my son being 5 and he was babysat by inlays and he would come home and say Grandma asks a lot of personal questions about you and I would say, what did you say, he said I felt that it was not her business and said I don;t know you should ask my mom, and she eventually stopped.

As well, if she knows about what goes on in your house is it the end of the world. Your son should not really be privy to high level private stuff. And if she is staying with you for months on end, she knows all your personal business. And you are forgetting about your husband, if she does not get info from your kid she will get from your Husband.

My son is 17 now and my in laws sometimes try to get info, he still shrugs his shoulders, but he trusts some cousins and tell them stuff, they tell their mom and then info gets back to in laws. You really can't police it or be paranoid about it. The more attention you give to this the worse it will bug you.

She is trying to get under your skin cause she knows it bothers you when she spends time with your son. Let her. Once you let her know it does not bother you, she sill shift her focus. Tell them to bond, and go shopping or see a movie, or go out with friends, I bet you she won't want to be babysitter and will stop.

I just come from school of thought that it is healthy to have Grandparents in child's life, unless of course it is abusive.

I have read all your threads and really feel for you, God bless you.

 

You seem to have achieved very less in life despite having big dreams... .. Pls let me know if you need any help as I do offer psychological counselling and I feel you need some expert counselling...... I have read all your posts and you make mountain out of a mole because you are dissatisfied with yourself..... You can't handle relationships and people around you hate you for what you are..... You try to take things in your control but people around you know that you are not worthy of trust.... You need better self image to love yourself.... You have to work on many aspects of your life....... Pls take this advice in good sense

 

Hi dear, how old is your son ? If he is younger , children often get confused while speaking multiple languages. Its true especially for us Indians, since we have to speak atleast 3 languages, English, Hindi and our mother tongue. Tell the same to your MIL. Tell her that children learn at their own speed, the ways of the world are different than what they were they she was a mother, children today need to focus on universal needs more than local needs. Mother tongue can always be learned at home and with relatives at its own pace.

 

NONSENSE

 

Just like Jethalal

 

Op,
Allow her to teach,eventually she'll stop that also. Let her know that you're not bothered with her actions. Keep your cool.

Mother tongue is an important precursor...Take charge.