No support from husband.

Advice from an American girl.

About calling 911----you can tell your husband that if you have to call 911 and he is convicted of domestic violence--it's very likely they're going to revoke his visa.
Also in the US, the police will almost always side with the victim/woman and they aren't fooled by drama--the police see these type of guys every day.
In US culture, hitting a woman for *any* reason is something that only a low-down, weak, cowardly bully would do. Men who hit women are thought of as dirt or worse.
Also, once you call 911 about domestic violence, the state takes over and will press charges---no matter what you say or do--you can't ask them to let it drop, they will continue on no matter what you say.

 

Make him understand that Men chromosomes are XY and women are XX. so when Y connects with X from women side, then its a boy

Julietpeach - Most of the men maybe are narrow minded but you forget one important thing, Men have been with their family for many many year before they get married so the influence of Parents and siblings will be more then wife. Same goes for women. The influence of her parents and siblings will be more than husband.

I feel bad for you aboli. I wish he could understand her point. I remember when my wife was pregnant with 2nd kid, I wanted someone to come to US for delivery but I was out of job during that time. But I had some savings so I could take care of her and family, bring her whatever she wanted to eat. It was just me who took care of her. I used to bring food from outside as much as possible before delivery and after few mths after delivery because I did not want her to be doing all this by herself.

Try to make him understand. I feel bad and angry at the same time that he is not treating you right. Wish I could have kicked his A**.

 

I have been going through this thread for sometimes... It looks like the OP is not at all interested in having a second baby at this stage, rather she is bit too worried about the pain and all the associated issues with a pregnancy and delivery by knowing that her husband wouldnt help her in this regard in anyways. She needs help from us for the followings;-
01- To face her abusive (physically and emotionally) husband and in laws during their forceful demand of having a second child, that too a male child.
02 - To get some emotional support at least through calling her parents and let them know what is going on here before making any major decisions.
03- Some refreshments to avoid too much stress and depression after all these issues/abuses.

Calling 911 or threatening the husband about informing the cops during abuses is fine.. But how about facing the consequences? We know that the OP has a very bright life without her abusive husband and in laws, but we certainly dont know what is her capacity to face her life with her baby in the US if anything goes wrong (if she decides to walk out).
It is always better to consult her parents before making tough decisions, at least it will make us emotionally strong during this phase.

I think the OP clearly knows the consequences of having a second baby, and that's not her idea here.. So, there is no need for further explanation about the cons of second child in this marriage. Rather, we better find out ways to get her out from this emotional pains and make her strong to face this phase. This is my humble opinion, no offence intended please.

 

Dear Aboli

This is your life.. Do not feel that you are abandon by the God.. NO.. God knows that you can handle this, hence he is making you strong by giving you all such hard exercises. That's all...

All what you need is to avoid sympathy at this stage. That will make you go further down. Also do not hope some miracle will happen down the line... It may happen, but better you be prepared yourself with the little one in hand to face ANYTHING. Right?

Try coming out of the house, and inform your parents gradually about all the happenings (I assume your parents are good, supportive and understanding - If not, then dont inform them anything).
Make some good friends here in the US (If you have someone already, then make use of them).
I dont know whether you are working (part time or full time) and dont know what type of visa you have here (GC or dependent or what).
If you are working, then it is not a big deal... You stay strong, use your salary for your future and plan things accordingly... Above all, stop depending on your husband in anything.
If you are not working, try finding a job as per your qualifications (friends can be so helpful in this).

Try to make yourself as independent and strong... Prepare for the worst case scenario and get help from all the possible sources. Once you are ready, then fight back for your rights with your husband.

First try to explain him that you are hurt, and you need respect... Tell him your opinion about having second baby. Tell him your opinion about your in laws visit and your visit to your native. There are so much, that I dont need to tell you here... After being clearly put your points in the table, you can either expect him to change or react too abusive (as many men do not want to hear any lectures from wives) towards you. Here you are ready to face anything, so no harm...

 

Aboli, I am sorry to hear your situation. Stand up and fight against your abusing husband. As other posters mentioned, be ready to call 911. One more thing I would like to add is until you are able to control the situation, please be careful about not getting pregnant, take precautions (I know you don't want a second child but your husband wants, so be prepared).

 

Aboli, I just want to refer you to an organization that deals with South Asian women and abuse in Los Angeles:
South Asian Help Line and Referral Agency
SAHARA ORGANIZATION
17100 Pioneer Blvd. Suite 260
Artesia, CA 90701

TOLL FREE HELPLINE: 1-888-724-2722
Office Phone: (562) 402-4132
Office Fax: (562) 402-6093

 

You know what?...mine is much worse. Husband got very sick in last year and now he uses wheelchair occasionally,can u get my situation?....and now I decided to have a second baby JUST for the reason that I musnt deprive my first one on sibbling love. Thats the ONLY reason. Its like Iam having 2 sons already....and virtual husband....but we musnt be unfair to kids.

 

Dear Aboli

I am very sorry for your situation. Its very good that you have GC. Your daugther must be going to school by now. I would strongly suggest you to focus on getting job as soon as possible. Save money in your separate account. You never know when you will need it. I will keep you in my prayers. Good luck.