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No Man's Land

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Balajee, Sep 12, 2019 at 3:42 PM.

  1. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Like they have a no man’s land between many countries there should be one between various states of India too. Now once you leave a state, you see a board declaring “Welcome to State X or Y” . That shouldn’t be the case. There should be a reasonably wide stretch, say a kilometer of non man’s land between the states.


    You may wonder why this is necessity has arisen. Suddenly. Even I didn’t feel the need for it until last night or to be exact until early today.


    To make you understand the problem I have to explain the location od my house. It is situated in an area t of Uttar Pradesh that rubs shoulders with Delhi. A park and a wall separates me and my neighbours from Indian capital, that’s all..

    Early this morning just before two my daughter heard some noise and she saw a bottle falling on our car and getting smashed to smithereens. There was no one outside and the bottle clearly came from our Delhi friends who probably were having a party and threw booze bottles across the border from the multistoried slums (that is exactly what they are even if many of the flats there have AC).


    The girl alerted us just when yours sleepless truly was reading an interesting bt in a New Zealand thriller, in which a bunch of Maoris were having a cop for dinner. No silly, he wasn’t their guest, he was on the menu.

    A few hours later we found that one of the bottles had actually gone into a neighbour’s house..

    Due noises were made and complaints filed with police but are they really going to bother? The cops of both the states are probably laughing over making a couple of flying bottles an inter-state affair.

    At this rate looks like we have to put signboards saying “WALIKING ON THE COLONY ROADS WITHOUT HELMETS IS INJURIOUS TO HEALTH AND IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENCE. YOU ARE LIABLE TO BE FINED”

    As I always look at the positive side of the picture, I believe these guys meant well. They wanted to make a friendly gesture to the neighbours in the neighbouring state by sending them a few bottles of booze, but after downing a few pegs, you either have no idea or a bizarre idea. (That is why all steps that led to progress of mankind were born after a drinking bout). So they thought that they can reach us by practicing their throwing skills.

    Dear cops if these guys get arrested, haul them up before the Indian Olympic Committee and make them part of our contingent to the next summer games. With that kind of a skill that can send an object beyond a wall, soaring over a park avoiding trees on a very green street to hit cars and evem fall into a house, they are bound to win us gold in disciplines like shot-put . discus and javelin throws.


    Despite my admiration for their skills I firmly believe we need a no man’s land between them and us. (If the term no man’s land ruffles your feminist feathers feel free to call it no person’s land)

    .
     
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2019 at 3:50 PM
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  2. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    Follow the recipes from the Maori and eat your way into creating a no-man's land.
    Did the Maori pickle their meat in alcohol, like the modern men do ?
     
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  3. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balajee,

    No person land will become a jurisdiction issue if some people were to commit a crime in a no person's land. What would do you someone get into the no person's land and throw bottles into one of the states? Cops in both states will say that they have no jurisdiction.

    Neighbor is a neighbor whether he lives in Delhi or UP. Perhaps, those bottles must be used to make a beautiful glass palace model out of it and sent back to Delhi neighbor to see other uses for those bottles. That might change their mind. Blessed are the peacemakers. :)
     
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  4. Afresh

    Afresh Gold IL'ite

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    Sir,
    But what would you do , if such people start living in your multistoried apartments and throw bottles above your head, when you are having an early morning walk around your 'safe ' campus!
    People here are people either ways.
    Etiquette classes need to be provided free to all citizens of this nation !
     
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  5. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Afterlife, there are no multistoried apartments in my locality. They are individual houses. The apartments across the border are illegal constructions. Some of the lawyers (My gated community swarms with them) went to court against the constructions saying it affects our quality of life. Nothing came out of it. People of my community are top professionals or entrepreneurs and I don't expect lumpen behaviour from them.
     
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  6. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Balajee,
    I am sure filing FIRs with police will invite jurisdictional issues particularly when your area is Governed by BJP and the culprits are from Delhi governed by AAP in papers. I have a suggestion, make friends with them. In effect you are governed by BJP. Invite them over a cup of tea or coffee, better still over a bottle of beer or scotch. This is Gandhian way of treating the sinners. I understand BJP Government is likely to buy Intellectual Property Rights of movie, Munnabhai MBBS. Maybe you can do it before they do. It is quite possible they will provide you with the Z security which they have taken away from MMS.
    Sending a bill for advice.
     
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  7. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Amulet, Cannibalism is a great idea. It can in one stroke solve the problems of overpopulation and hunger. Too bad it is criminalized. May be like the movement to criminalize homosexuality a movement to decriminalize cannibalism can be launched. It can be called Hannibalist movement (Not after the guy from Carthage who took elephants on an Alpine trip but after Hannibal Lector, Thomas Harris' Cannibal doctor.) Even after decriminalization it it has to be regulated to ensure that no anarchy is created with everybody gnawing at the other.. Some process has to be set up decide who is to et and who is to be eaten. There are lot of useless people who don't know where to go. They can go into some hungry stomachs.
    Pickling?! The Maoris didn't even season the cop. No salt, no spices. They just roasted and ate him. Barbarians!
     
  8. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    No man's land or No Person's Land is just a wishful thinking unfortunately not feasible.BTW Glass bottles are breakable and when they fall fro such a distance they tend to break into smithereens and unfortunately it is not possible to reassemble them. The case of flying bottles is an extreme case but even otherwise the Delhiites tend to throw bottles over the wall dividing our colony from the national capital . It has become virtually impossible for kids to play in the park. There is always a last straw on a camel's back.
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2019 at 2:54 PM

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