No good dates for seemantham: I am devastated

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Labor' started by Rakhii, Jun 24, 2011.

  1. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Mods, please consider leaving this thread here as I wanted to know what mom's think.

    Ladies, I am in a serious dilemma. My parents are here from July 28th to Sept 2nd, 2011. I wanted my seemantham/Valikappu (Godh Bharayi) when they are here. Now, unfortunately my SIL is telling me that there are no good dates between 17th July and 28th Aug :drowning.

    It seems, July 17th to Aug 16th is Aadi month and July 29th to Aug 27th is waning phase of the moon (thei pirai).

    This means that July 17th to Aug 27th, there are no good dates! My husband already told them that we cant make it on 29th and 30th Aug. This leaves us exactly 1 day in the entire 6 weeks, which is 31st Aug. This also they are saying that only after 3rd sept there are good dates. Even if my parents re-schedule their ticket now, since I would be in 6th month then, my MIL said I cant have the function.

    I am feeling dejected, betrayed, disappointed and what not! What should I do? What woud you do? I am going crazy....I really want this done properly when my parents are here. I find it very hard to belive that in the entire 6 weeks of my parents stay, there is not a single date!

    What would you do in my place?
     
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  2. Coffeelover

    Coffeelover Platinum IL'ite

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    Congratulations!!! When is the baby due? How are you feeling? Where do your parents live?

    I did not have any of the above ceremonies. I had a beautiful and healthy children. Ask your parents what to do. If you believe in all the dates etc, then do a grand ceremony for naming the baby. It is all up to you.

    Consult your husband. Your health is important. Don;'t get stressed out for these.

    Good luck. enjoy your parents stay.
    All the best.
    CL:cheers:cheers:cheers:cheers
     
  3. Shanmukhabhavan

    Shanmukhabhavan Silver IL'ite

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    [JUSTIFY]Dear Rakhi, first of all hearty congratulations on your pregnancy. Eat healthy and stay healthy. Try to be stress-free for entire all of these carrying months. Good luck!

    Regarding baby shower dates, though i haven’t gotten that chance yet, but praying to be soon….. am here to soothe you a little bit saying a little tip which I heard from elders and friends is….. in case if there are no good dates, then you can perform those rituals at the presence of god, means a temple, a pilgrim etc. so that it will not have any bad impacts. But generally what I know is people perform marriage ceremonies like this, but no idea about baby shower, perhaps just look into that and have a talk with your dh and your family, may god fulfill your wish to have baby shower….. [/JUSTIFY]
     
  4. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    Rakhi, glad to hear your parents are visiting. Your post is little confusing to me. I can understand the adhi masa and the dates for it. What's the other one why does it overlap with adhi masa dates. Anyway don't worry like coffee lover even I haven't had a traditional Indian baby shower. All I had was from work. Now being pregnant you should not be worrying about it. Just go with the flow and enjoy your parents visit to the max. Anyway later whenever the baby shower happens enjoy it too. I know you will miss your parents at the event. But this is what we have to adjust with when we stay far away from loved ones.

    Maybe it's a blessing in disguise not to have it during your parents visit. The fucnction prep and formalities will take up most of their days and you might not be able to enjoy peaceful quiet time with them.
     
  5. chotabheem

    chotabheem Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Rakhii,
    First of all, congrats on your pregnancy! In our custom for pregnant ladies, they dont see any special dates, just check for auspicous days.. be it in the month of Aadi or Pitrupaksh... I had mine on auspicious days, but mom said that does not matter and they dont check dates so keenly for pregnant ladies as they do for marriage and other ceremonies.. If you really wish to have your seemantham when parents come down, just go ahead and do it on some day which is convenient for all of you. All that matters is your happiness.. You are happy, the baby is also happy.. Just pray to God and Iam sure All will go fine..
    Enjoy your baby shower, its all about eating good food, wearing dozens of bangles and getting pampered!
     
  6. priyanka12345

    priyanka12345 Silver IL'ite

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    31st july is begining of Sharvan month . This is supposed to be a good day.
    Check if you can do it on 31st july.
     
  7. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Ladies, thank you so much for the response. I will reply tomorrow as I am expecting another update from our pundit.
     
  8. mathangikkumar

    mathangikkumar Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear rakhi
    Congrats and do not worry ,it's quite normal to be depressed after coming to know that seemantham can't be performed. Just give a name as Baby shower, invite people and prepare mixed color rice varieties and n'joy. Many times it happens due to the condition of the pregnant women, seemantham and valaikappu cld not be performed. So there is nothing to worry , it's true the period mentioned is not good for any rituals.
    Utilise the maximum time with your parents ' pampering on you and get their advice regarding parenting and child care. Seemantham can be performed after the delivery also.

    Be positive and let not your mood affect the child. all the best.
     
  9. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    Rakhi,
    How are you? I am sure you are Waiting for your parents arrival. Hope your seemnatham date got confirmed.
    All the best.
     
  10. Ranchu

    Ranchu Local Champion Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Rakhii,

    Come on .. dont be so disappointed by this.
    When I had the baby , it was just me and DH for the entire 8 months. My mom came for delivery time in the 9th month .

    We wanted either my in-laws or my parents to be there for the function so we dint check very strictly . We took a good auspicious date and celebrated this in 9th month.

    Ppl around me told us that 9th month is too late to do this etc .. we dint care. All we wanted was parent's blessings and god's blessings thats it !

    Any good day will work for this function.. there is nothing wrong ...

    Wish you a safe Delivery !
     

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