Newly married & problems i face

justanothergirl · Jan 20, 2012

OP I am not going to sugar coat this. U are an abuser. The word will hit u hard and I want it to. Please talk to ur family doc and get a referral to a counselor ASAP. Both of u need counseling very badly.
Do it before its too late and one of u is scarred for life.

Pranjjal · Jan 21, 2012

punnap said: ↑

Hi Pranjjal,

I had hit him,he never hitted me back and i regret this doing..no matter i want to control this behaviour of mine but when am in anger i just cannot! He has a problem with me with my behaviour ,like i leave the house in middle of a fight and get out from car in middle of the road and come by self..i know its silly..but i show my attitde all this is a problem to him...he says this wont work out for a relatiosnhip to be stronger..hence i need to work on it....when ever there is a fight he does dmaage to himself ,with out eating etc but looks for my comfort....i know am not giving or like they said may be am trying to control him and becomign possesive..i know i should work on it to make this work..anywyas thanks much for your time and wishes....Hope you go much more strong and lovely life u enjoy
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Of course any hubby in this wide world can hv problem of the behavior that u mentioned. You r lucky to hv kindhearted and emotional husband if he feels bad and don't eat after ur fights but then how long he will stay like that he will soon get attracted to other woman/girl who will speak with him politely in a decent manner then what u will do. Its ur mistake u are acting like a immature lady. If u will not give him love and affection then he will unknowingly search that emotional attachment outside so this is not his fault dear this is totally ur fault then. So what do u think? Is ur mind get clear what u should suppose to do?
Give lots of love to him and All the best.

omnam · Jan 21, 2012

JustMyself said: ↑

One afternoon, in the middle of the fight, my DH just stopped shouting. He was quiet and after couple of mins, he made me sit with him in the couch, and spoke softly... for almost 20 mins. We went through the struggles that we went through, struggles that we put our families through to get married and live together. We both agreed that both of us wanted peace and did not like the fights. We decided on few basic principles to stick to reduce the fights. Trust me, it worked like magic. Any person who meets us now use to wonder whether we had even the possibility of a fight once.

This is what we stuck to.
1. Never concentrate on words that you throw at each other during a discussion. Concentrate on the essence.
2. If you believe, you are wrong, do apologize.
3. If you still have your wits together in a fight, even if your spouse is yelling at the top of his/her lungs, hug your dear and say "I love you", and remind your spouse that you truly do not give a damn about anything said / done to upset. ---> This helped us a lot.
4. Do not stay mad at each other for more than 30 mins max.
5. Remember always.. your loved ones are much more important than a big fat ego.

It helped us a lot. Hope it helps you too.

Please remember if your DH really wanted to cheat you, he would be secretive. He will not leave msgs still visible in FB or drive with a person in public who may not have a very good reputation.

The first few months of marriage is the important time. It could be a rough ride and would be like a teething season, but am sure you could make it with some conviction All the Best !
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very nice. if atleast one is matured enough to solve the issue, everything will be fine

ars · Jan 21, 2012

Forget the fighting for a moment everyone else have given great advice for your temper.
You say you were in love for 9 months and married 1.5 months and what about the sex life. You are not physically together because you are scared.
Come on girl get professional help if needed. Grow up and step up to the plate of married life than everything will fall in place.