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Newly married.. need advice from experienced ladies :)

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by alice785, Dec 14, 2011.

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  1. noush

    noush Bronze IL'ite

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    WELL SAID perfundo
     
  2. Rise

    Rise Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi swati

    Congrats on your wedding. Just be yourself after marriage too. If you plan to impress your husbands and in laws by being the best wife and Dil in town ,dont do that.you are just inviting trouble..... you just be yourself .Behave normally like you do, love and cherish your marriage. Begin at a true note and remeber there is no particular way of behaving after marriage..You are still You. Dont give a false or fake image to others by doing all the household work ,jumping right into kitchen... just be the real you. Cause once you set expectations it will be expected for an entire life.

    Also your marriage is in a week... now why do you worry about age of groom? its to be discussed before mariage is fixed and dont hang on to the age factor now when marriage is in a week.

    Best wishes and live a true life with love and honesty
     
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  3. swathichen

    swathichen New IL'ite

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    Thanks to everyone. Just nervous thats all - especially about the you-know intimacy part.

    Will keep in touch.

    Swathi
     
  4. bulesha

    bulesha Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Alice
    I read your post & cursed the Indian Education System. I wonder being rural attracts so much of hate to educated women. Your In-laws knows your limitation, that’s why they are humble & you should also reciprocate the same to them & than see the change. Why don’t you try to eliminate bad thing from their life? This world is too small for hate … remember. There are many example how people change rural life , one of them is Ms Chhavi Rajawat .. a LSR graduate, A MBA degree is now sarpanch of Soda village of Rajasthan.. Changing their life.
     
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  5. Brevity

    Brevity Gold IL'ite

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    Since you are asking what you need to do...
    1. If your inlaws are good people accept them for who they are, not their clothes, language or whatever. What is in the heart, that is all that matters.

    2. If they do something bad, like chewing tobacco, try to get doctor's help, nicotine patches etc for their own good. Bring them to your city and consult a good doctor, just like how you would do if your own parents were like them.

    3. Tell yourself a hundred times that you are not that different/special, they are not inferior. Open your mind that tiny bit and let your education really shine some light.

    If you feel cheated about in-laws' clothes and manners, just think of the betrayal/disappointment dh would feel when they all read your disgust for them. Mind trumps appearance on any day.
     
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  6. Khushi78

    Khushi78 Silver IL'ite

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    U say his parents were in a hurry to get him married but were you in so much hurry not to ask him or meet his parents or relatives before marriage? Is that his fault. He has not uprooted you from your modern society and planted u to live like villager.
    if u cannot live by some ways tell your H openly, may be he will arrange alternatives and make you comfortable. When I first went to my H's place that was after marriage, I did not like the taste of the water. I dint retaliate but started taking less causing stomach ache and constipation. My FIL immd understood and arranged for packaged water cans. I cited this example though they are not village type because an ILs place is going to be different than maika and a certain amount of adjustment is required. if u dont like certain ways try to find a way out. If they are good people(villagers or not) its a life time treasure u have got so nurture it rather than unnecessarily having sleepless nights.
    One more trend I would like to tell you here, modern life is a toll taker. Ppl are running away to serene village areas to bust stress and for relaxation so cash yours as an opportunity.
     
  7. sacredbell

    sacredbell Silver IL'ite

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    Nice Comment..

    Alice was newly married in Dec, 2011..
    What is the relevance now for this thread?..

    Curious to know, if her in laws are urbanized by this time or not..:)
     
  8. soulful

    soulful Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, Didn't you know "before" marriage that these "rural" people have "backward" habits that "urban" people like you will not be able to handle? You should have listened to your parents then. All I can tell you is that if you do not ignore these little things, you will end up with bigger issues. You do not live with them. They are being good to you. Thank your stars and be happy with your husband and in laws
     
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