Newly married, living away from husband...can't decide...

Hi,
I've been married for 10 months now and I know how you feel. If I were you, I would try to move in with my husband as soon as possible but since you're saying you love your career(and that's a good thing), you shouldn't be regretting any decision you take now, 5 or 10 years down the line. If you move in with your husband after 9 months, and leave out the opportunity for higher studies, is there a probability that you might regret your decision later on? You need to evaluate how important the opportunity is for you and then decide what to do. Because, if you choose your husband over your education and it doesn't turn out as good as you expected, your decision shouldn't turn into spite or contempt or blame towards your husband.
If you think you can be well off even without another year of studying, and that you can land yourself a decent job and income, I suggest you go running for your husband at the first chance possible. My advice may or may not be appropriate but be wise in whatever decision you make. Also, consult with your husband on every step of the way. Good luck, dear.

 

Please provide some more information:

1. How often do you and your husband currently visit each other? I know you have been apart for 9 months, but how often do you see each other in this time. If you go for higher education (I assume in your same city), how often do you plan to continue to either visit him or have him visit you?

2. How many years is your higher education program?

3. Does your husband have the ability to move to where you are, so that you can pursue higher education while you both are living together?

 

As soon as I read these thoughts came to my mind too. Let OP give reply to this then only we can suggest accordingly

 

Is same university an option?

 

Hi,

I will suggest you to think about global picture of your life. What you want in future for you and your family.

My wife is also career oriented woman. We are happily married for last six years and we have 3yr old son. She is now away from me and son for her higher education since last 2.5yrs and visits us once a week/15days. She is a doctor and now doing her PG. Both of us know the importance of this education from our future perspective & for our son's bright future. My parents also respect her decision and supported in all means.
Now we are happy that she is going to join us very soon....

If this education is going to add value to your career then I will suggest.. Go for it! After all life is full of sacrifice, What Say !

Best Regards.

 

Your post very well shows that longing to live with him...It seems you have already made decision to move to your DH. I am sure you cant concentrate on studies anymore. If you are determined you can continue your studies any time after a year or two or during pregnancy...check the rules of the University. Or is it possible in the place where you will be moving ? Is it possible for your DH to come over where you stay? is he also applying for higher studies? many questions to answer but million dollar question will you be able to go for higher studies and stay away from your DH when you are longing so much for him?

 

There you go. You have the answer to your dilemma.

It does make a difference. There is no guarantee that you will conceive immediately (I hope you do). Start planning for a family. You can do higher studies 10 years later. Same thing cannot be said about starting a family. Believe me, I was in US higher education system for 6 years. It is not very difficult to do higher studies after few years in the Univ of your choice. Studies can wait.

 

hi, i hear u. been there and still doin that.

been married for 3 yrs nw and v dont live together as yet. we do visit eachother every now and then. no specific intervals though.... whoever is free to visit does it provided it doesnt coincide with the other's duties/schedules etc.

like u said, this arrangement is temperory. since bothe of us r still doin our higher studies. we will be both finishing early 2013.

from my experience, i wud say 1 and half yr is not a long tym. it ll jus go away in a blink of the eye considering u ll be studying and will be giving exams too. u wont even realise wen it even started and ended. if u think this is imp to u, go for it. if not, take a break and live with ur hubby for sometime and then try again wen ur couple life gets kinda monotonous. (if u know what i mean).

for me it was very imp that i pursue my higher studies after i had worked so much towards it. i know i wud hav gotten frustrated after the initial elation of being with my hubby and somewer deep down i wud have blamed him for my not able to pursue my choices even if he dint have any say in it.

so u r the best judge of ur own situation. and remember to choose with ur mind than with ur heart. goodluck.