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New york life insurance co - ads----ruining nuclear families

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by invisible, May 25, 2011.

  1. invisible

    invisible New IL'ite

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    Thank you all for your insightful replies. Wow had no idea this was such a pro- IL forum. Every one is entitled to their own opinion. In my opinion joint family system is a dying trend and I particularly dislike the notion of two families living under the same roof. Thankfully the country and neighborhood I am in believe in the same thing. As far as puling things out of context and giving irrelevant off topic replies is concerned. The ad for chocolate cake may pull at your heartstrings, it does not mean its good for you. I hope that made as much sense as being a gay cowboy or dancing girl has anything to do with being in a joint family.
    No offense meant to joint families. As I previously said everyone is entitled to their own likes,dislikes and opinions. As far as DH is concerned. he is here at his own will and let me assure all you concerned ladies not to worry as he is not being held hostage against his will. He will be touched by your concern for him though.
     
  2. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes, Invisible, I find this forum largely pro IL and also very politically correct. You say something nice about JFs or ILs and you will get immediate applause. But, then we Indians tend to be very politically correct. On the forum and outside of it, it's the same. If you look at the true picture- less than 10% of these people live in JFs or want to live in JFs.
     
  3. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Who said we like joint family? I don't like joint family and I would NEVER (not in a million years) opt to live in a joint family. However, it doesn't mean I react over a commercial depicting the joint family system. Just because we can appreciate how others live, doesn't mean we idolize the joint family system or want it for ourselves. It's just a case of 'live and let live'. Last time I checked, there isn't a gang of joint family members going door to door forcing nuclear members to convert to joint family system or die at their hands. So, everyone has their own choice.
     
  4. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

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    Invisible,
    I think it's better to give a background to your concern. As ASG mentioned, your anxiety is because of an insecurity and I am sure there is a reason for that. I can understand because, my PILs forced us to live with them and I was anxious about the thought of JF all the time and I know people who have been in this situation and who get irritated with movies, TV shows, ads, advocating JF system.
     
  5. chinni86

    chinni86 Bronze IL'ite

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    It's just a TV ad. Shouldn't affect you so :)

    I don't see HOW it ruins perfect nuclear families. Like I said, it's just an ad on Television. If it's gone to a point where it's making anyone want to live in a JF setting, the feelings probably ALWAYS been there.

    Well, my DH would be an anomaly to those DH's that get affected by TV ads.
     
  6. Drpreethis

    Drpreethis Gold IL'ite

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    Probably not.. Maybe there are many. I havent seen the ad though. But had I seen it, a commercial wouldnt irritate me, be it anything.

    They wouldnt stop airing it I guess.. but why would any of us get influenced by any ads ? I mean, silly or whatever, maybe the person who sees it gets to decide wether it should be taken that serious to influence ones life.

    Since you asked, we havent seen it yet. My hubby usually plays with our son or playing games on his mobile whenever a commercial is aired unless it is funny and he wishes to giggle ! :)
    But, if let us say, he does see this ad, he would just stare at the tv like a blocked mind and wouldnt probably think anything at all. Well, if he has to think about anything / any system, he will do it at his pace and time.
    He wouldnt get influenced by commericals atleast ! :)

    Talking of that, I have never been in a joint family after marriage and wouldnt mind trying it.. Though I believe that living under seperate roofs will always mean less conflicts whatsoever, I wouldnt be scared to try it . Unless I know how it is, I wouldnt think otherwise. It has worked for many, and I have lived in a JF system before marriage ! My grandmom lived with us till she died. So, guess, my mom was living and bought us up in a JF system. It worked ok and no one atleast killed each other. There were the usual nitty gritty issues my grandmom bought up for no reason and we started to understand them once we matured up. My mom took it in stride, she handled it perfectly fine and eventually my grandmom hugged my mom and not her daughters / son before she breathed last.

    But, would I be able to live like that.. I wouldnt know, because niether am I my mom, nor would I be living with my grandmom..it is my PILs . So, all of us are different. Each of us have different temperment.

    If the discussion is given a situation, then what ? My answer would be - I would defintly try. I wouldnt want to mistake or think in anyways about a person, unless I see for myself. If things are not working peaceful, then I would move to a different roof..to just maintain the relationship for its sake. So, thats about it.
     
  7. billybob

    billybob Gold IL'ite

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    It might have been ok with previous generation as girls were raised to compromise and adjust, most of them stayed home and took care of family. With additional responsibilities we do not have tolerance for nitty gritty issues just like men. Joint family is ok if PILs are not able to take care of them selves but not when they are young in their 40s and 50s. I was and am against living with PILs or even with parents in their house but if they have need help later on in life I would gladly take my share of of responsibility. If we had live as a joint family either with parents or inlaws everyone needs to share equal work load, not just sit back and dominate the family. As far men in this forum it is easy to advise since they do not have to live or even think about living with inlaws till later on life when their daughters grow up.
     

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