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Never Say Goodbye

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by satchitananda, Feb 17, 2019.

  1. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Yet another memory surfaces this evening. I have just watched a documentary film on a pair of Chinese twins who are adopted by parents living in America and Norway. The twins hug each other and cry as they part at the airport - one goes back home with her American adoptive parents (after a holiday) and the other stays back with her Norwegian adoptive parents. They don't understand each other's languages but get on fabulously. The sad look of the twin who just said farewell to her twin across the ocean reminded me of a similar incident in my life.

    No, I did not have any twin. I have a sib who is 10 years my senior, but my neighbours had kids my age. One of them lived in Pune and we were inseparable. Her cousins would come to Pune every summer and we would have a great time.

    I was around 5 or 6 years old. The visiting friends had just left after the summer holidays. I was desolate and was crying. There was this huge vacuum. My parents took me to watch a movie called 'dev bappa'. Thank God I did not understand much about movies. The only thing I remember is a little girl, a bit younger than me, who has no father asking her mom where the father is. Her mom tells her he is in heaven with God. So the girl writes him letters every day and posts them with the address "Dev Bappa" on the envelope. The post master is puzzled at these letters. I don't remember if he wrote her a letter from her father. I must watch that movie again. After the movie, they took me to a restaurant for lunch. But all of their efforts did not help make me feel any better. I guess only a good sleep helped me wake up next morning feeling sunnier. It still is the same. Nothing mends a broken heart better than a night of good sleep and next morning life seems normal again.

    Of course these friends came back again and again and eventually moved back to Pune when we were a bit older. I remember the joy when they came back for good. Talking of goodbyes, the first permanent farewell was to their grandfather who used to pamper me no end. I was in Std. III. The family ran a school upstairs and I went to that school till I completed Std. III. I was all excited about a school picnic we were to go to one February morning. I woke up early and told my mom to get my picnic hamper ready. She told me the picnic was cancelled. I was extremely upset about that. The reason was 'Doctor' Grandpa had died in the night. Bad enough that the picnic was cancelled, mom told me he would never come back again. He had gone to God, to 'Dev Bappa'. It took a long time to accept that people vanish and never come back.

    I have never been one for farewells, but life has taught me to do that with a stiff upper lip, like the time I moved out of home straight to the UK all on my own for the very first time. I could not let anyone see me cry. Or when I left home after I got married, or when my dad passed away, or my mom. Each time I held back my tears. I hate goodbyes. So I don't ever say that. It is never a goodbye. It is just Auf Wiedersehen (till we meet again) on this side or the other.
     
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  2. SpringB

    SpringB Platinum IL'ite

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    Kabi alvida naa kehna ... Nice Snippet. No wonder you are a Queen of Snippets ...
     
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  3. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    Ya bidding good bye is very difficult especially when you are attached and spend years with them. First it starts with school .when I was leaving school everyone started taking autographs but I could not buy one. So made a small book and gave to my class teacher. She gave many autographs of our classmates and asked me to distribute. When I did not find my book I was disappointed but when I saw autograph book on my name felt very happy.

    We were in Hyderabad till I was 22 yrs . When we left Hyderabad and came to Mumbai felt sad to leave the city and friends there especially my best friend from school who is very rich but down to earth person. Because of her only I learnt typing and got a job. We are still in touch.

    After working for 36 yrs in the same company it was difficult to bid goodbye to everyone including the bosses because we were like a family and never felt working in an office.

    Changing houses and bidding good bye to friend's there also difficult. As our own house has gone for redevelopment and we have changed 4houses. One house can't forget because there I used to enjoy during Ganpati festival and Navratri.

    Also saying good bye to contract bus friends where I travelled for 10 yrs.

    Thanks for bringing memories and sorry for boring you with long post

    Till I die I will be a part of this site and don't want to bid good bye to This site as this is my second family
     
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  4. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks SpringB. :)
     
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  5. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Satchi,

    Farewells are painful moments but are the inevitable realities of life. Recapturing the same level of comraderie after a farewell is also sometimes difficult as people change with time and grow apart. But recollection of the good times (chewing the cud) makes our hearts warm and young again.
     
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  6. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks for the response Vijima. Yes, there is no end to the goodbyes we say during one lifetime. Remembering that pain when my friend went away made me think of how intense that pain can be in children. We think they are just cranky and try to distract them, but there is a lot more to it that adults tend to forget from their own childhoods.
     
  7. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Absolutely, Geeta! It probably depends on the kind of bond one shared to start with. The kind of friendships which does not necessarily involve a lot of jabbering - just being comfortable in each other's company - might be easier to pick up. Though the separation, living different realities may end up in there not being a lot to talk about.
     
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  8. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear satchi
    You come out mind-boggling posts with clockwork regularity! First accept my 'Salaam'
    I often wish for a mind like yours that works in all dimensions/directions. No wonder Viji has written an exclusive post in your honor.
    Coming to the topic of your latest post, I must tell you of an experience of mine. You all are aware of the celebrated film star Siddharth who is popular both in Hindi and Tamil films. His dad Suriyanarayanan (Suri) was my classmate for nearly a decade in Hindu High School, Triplicane, Chennai. We were extremely close, as close as Damon and Pythias. My friends would make fun of us saying that if one fell sick, the other would take the medicine. When we completed schooling, we had to get separated and on the last day of our schooling, we cried buckets. For a few weeks after that, I was moving around like a zombie! In course of time we last touch with each other. I met him when he was past 70 in a train. He recognised me but I couldn't recognise him! Only in that journey, he told me that he was the father of Siddharth!
    [​IMG]

    Life just goes on. Goodbyes are inevitable at every stage of life.
    Sri
     
  9. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear CS, rich and lavish words of praise and affection from you, Sir. Nobody can outdo you in your 'ramblings' which hold everybody spellbound.

    It is indeed very fortunate that you got to meet your friend once again. That is why, it is never a goodbye, just an Au revoir or Auf Wiedersehen. Hope you are in regular touch with him now.
     
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  10. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Satchi,

    Giving eternal farewell is a precursor for our own eventual departure from kith and kin. Getting used to such departures increases our resolve to conquer death. Emotions are peripheral to the Self and attached to the body consciousness. The whole life is a dress rehearsal of how to get rid of our encryption and get liberated. It is our understanding of such experiences that helps us to overcome those encryption and get liberated. Once we understand our purpose, it becomes clear to us how to address our encryption.

    When a physical form leaves, the memories remain with us and when our own physical form leaves, even the memories are eliminated for a fresh start. This so called forgetfulness gives us the energy to work towards salvation without getting burdened by the weight of our encryption. By learning to let go, we are beginning our journey towards liberation.

    Viswa
     
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