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Neighbour comments

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by anugamit, Feb 17, 2012.

  1. anugamit

    anugamit Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi friends,

    How do you react to the comments made by neighbours about your DS/DD? Like, as soon as i get out of my house neighbours start commenting that my son always cries and so he is not gaining weight due to that, he is stubborn, not listening at all, wants everything, he has became very slim.

    My son cries very loudly and everybody around here can hear his crying so i get upset when he cries.

    Do you bother about their comments? I would say i am least bothered about others comments or thoughts but if it is regarding my son i get upset.
     
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  2. swaran

    swaran IL Hall of Fame

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    people really cant mind their own business..if they have no work,they ll try to pinch others and see their reactions.. :rant

    actually they ll have back answers for our answers like ..if they say that our kid created a havoc one day,and we answer "its ok aunty,afterall he is a small boy."(positive one).,.immediately they ll answer "yeah thats true(like they understand and are supporting us).....there is one another kid in our locality who never cries..why dont you talk to his mom"
    or if we dont answer or say "wat to do aunty"(in a sad tone)..they ll say "you know such loud shoutings could be becoz of such and such problem with the kid...talk to the doc...its always better...and you know its better you quit fr somedays,stay with your kid...maybe he is missing you"...etc etc

    so whatever you answer,they are ready weapon to poke us...

    even when my DD cries for 2-3 days continuously when i am away,neighbours will immediately poke their nose and say "maybe its becoz of this,evil eye,that this"...and when they see my kid not eating(she is always fussy with food),me and my MIL have got/are getting loads and loads of advises from friends and relatives saying "that kid is younger than yours but both look same,you should try this that,consult some 10 doc,try home remedies etc etc(list never stops)"...i wont mind because i know how my kid is,she is active and smart and her height and weight are fine(not too good but ok)...or even if she is not fine,i know what to do...atleast my MIL wll be worried as she takes care of DD most of the time when i am away from home,but i assure that DD is fine and active..i tell her not to listen to neighbours and get worried

    once my SIL(cousin) came and my DD dint drink formula milk properly...she kept on advising us,she would compare her daughter who eats/ate properly even during her infant,toddler age...me and my MIL said "we have tried all methods"..she dint listen and said ,"if the baby doesnt listen,you ll have to force feed"..we told her "that wont work,she ll only vomit"..but she dint stop her gyan...so what i did,i gave my baby to her and said try..she did and my daughter vomitted the milk...thats it,SIL never opened her mouth about force feeding...
    i know this is a hard way and cant try this all times but when we can show that it wont work,they ll shut their mouth...

    the same SIL advised me to give medicines to make my DD sleep as she was fussy to sleep in the afternoon during her initial months(<1 year)...she ll tell that i can buy and keep and consilt my doc and give..no prob will happen..i just used to nod my head and never buy things that she would say...thats all..deaf ear...

    so with the same sIL i did two things...once i paid a deaf ear and once i showed that what she says wont work with my DD..thats all...


    but generally when someone passes comments,what i do is ::
    i just give back some positive replies or indirectly telling that we know what to do for our baby or we have done whatever is required and if i know that they wont stop,i just walk out of that place slowly or stop talking about my DD ,diverting the topic...


    still there are people in the family/neighbours who keep commenting something or the other ...there is nothing that we could do than keep our mouth shut and pay a deaf ear...if people constantly trouble you passing comments often about your kid,STOP TALKING with them,that would indirectly tell them that you dint like what they spoke...
     
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  3. aaral

    aaral Silver IL'ite

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    I too faced the same problem with my DS ,all my relatives used to advice me give him milk, eggs ,horlicks, pediasure the list was endless. Now their grand children too are fussy eaters, and they are getting advice from other people. Life has come a full circle
     
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  4. anugamit

    anugamit Platinum IL'ite

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    Awwww Swaran you just poured a lot.....i found forcefeeding advice by ur SIL funny. At last i told one of my neighbour in front of everyone that every child cries,whats new and now she herself stopped talking to me because she understood i got angry on her comment. By the way, she also has a kid younger than mine. She will come to know in the future how difficult it is to handle the child.
     
  5. swaran

    swaran IL Hall of Fame

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    hahaha yeah,i really get irritated by other's comments..
    oh thats really good to know that you showed your neighbour where she should stand.. :thumbsup...people need to know their limits
     
  6. swaran

    swaran IL Hall of Fame

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    thanks smilealways for liking my post:)
     
  7. anugamit

    anugamit Platinum IL'ite

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    Ya exactly....actually she used to ask me everyday why your son was crying at 3 in midnight, why during this time and that time, so i got irritated and gave it back straight in front of others, so nobody else will also ever dare to speak now...dont like if someone constantly bangs on my head.
     
  8. swaran

    swaran IL Hall of Fame

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    very true.....
     
  9. kiranavvari

    kiranavvari Gold IL'ite

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    hmmm.... what I experienced is everybody feels that their own parenting style is the best, and others are treating children badly. One of my cousin's daughter is elder than mine, and that girl looks thin compared to my daughter, still my cousin says my daughter is not fed properly, and I am ignoring my daughter. What to do, I decided to put a deaf ear to it.

    Recent days, everybody is telling me that my daughter is stubborn (it is because she is cranky and cries for small reasons when she becomes very tired) because she is the only child (7+ yrs) and we are over pampering her a lot as there is no other child to focus on. I got frustrated, and asked one of them what exactly do they mean by pampering. If they feel that providing food on time, and attending her needs on time is pampering, then the meaning is not same with me. I feel that providing basic necessities is my responsibility, and above that if something else is there that I am providing, it is called pampering, and I don't do over pampering. She didn't spoke a word after that.
     
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  10. SudhaManimaran

    SudhaManimaran Bronze IL'ite

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    Yes.. I accept what u people said.. even im facing these kind of situation with my own sister..;-(
    they are also having one 7 year old daughter and oly daughter.. my sister and my BIL always commend on our way of growing her(my child) they always make us to feel guilty that both are working so that my daughter is not perfect ..
    I accept thier daughter is perfect in many ways but they always insist that she(my child) is very admonent, u r very much lethargic to her, not at all beating..if it is neighbour or SIL i wont mind just talk what u said.. but as this is my sister i m dump..;-(.Evrybody has thier own special techniques to handel thier own child.
    y this people are behaving like that they are the only special parents.;-(
     

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