Neighbors Ignoring Me...how To Deal?

I am very surprised it's just one in your case. In my case, initially it was me who was doing it, not consciously, it just happened unconsciously, I felt subdued at home and want to verify if that was case with everyone else, so ended up comparing unintentionally. And then I stopped it completely. But now I am at the receiving end, all the ladies in my group very casually ask me how I am doing professionally, sometimes the way they ask, is like a small kid, "What is the spelling of abc? Oh I know it must be xyz" and the poor child shoots back innocently, "No it is abc". All of them ask me if I am working at so and so place and I say no, I am working at so and so. And they then keep digging very smartly. I have to entertain then and yet they don't stop rumor mongering. Inspite of expressing this to hubby recently, I was told it is just my inability to deal with people and surely not ALL are doing it to me. Oh, but yes they are. Btw, it is good you are keeping distance from her. Such people are very negative and irritating.

 

@anika987

I think you are overanalyzing here.

Even in my neighborhood and at work place, there are people who don't like to mingle closely with me, just like how some others badly want me in their circle.

Take this forum as an example. There are many people who dislike me here. They even belittle my posts, argue and often report to make sure either i shut my mouth or leave this forum.
I know....
But on the other hand, so many Lites like me, PM me, inquire about me in this same forum.

What does it mean?

Does it mean i am more superior to them and hence they feel threatened by my presence?
Does it mean i am different than this mainstream community; hence the discrimination?

Nope... It means, I don't share same wavelength as those who hate me.
It means we just don't match and have differences.

We can only hangout with like minded people in reality.

Same applies to your case too.

These 3 women and anyone who happened to behave similarly before are not meant to be your friends. Perhaps they are different and your characters don't match.

Such mismatch itself a huge turn off when it comes to gatherings.

It is your fault to look for a friend among them.
You seem to have gone too low by pleasing them in order to make friends. But friendship doesn't work this way.

Consider them as acquittances and treat them the same way.

You need to have some chemistry to start friendship with another person, and he/she not necessarily to have same background, gender or age as you to be your friend.

 

@anika987

Just to add one more example.

Here in Rwanda, there are 5 friends who speak Tamil in the city where i live.
We got along well basically because of this language and it felt so good as we had so much in common to share and care for.
Even though we are from 3 different countries, we felt like one unit in this place.

Last December when Sarkar movie was in the theatre, 3 of us were excited to watch. We were damn movie bugs, and precisely Vijay Fans.
The other person did not like Vijay and he rather was critical about that movie.
The last one was not a movie person.
So, we 3 gottogether, created a new WhatsApp group for that weekend movie that time.

We had to go to Kigali- the capital city to watch Tamil films in Rwanda, which is a bit far from our place.
So our movie trip also included sudden plans like mall visit, shopping, visiting a new buddy in Kigali etc and finally we managed to go for that movie.

Obviously the other 2 who were left behind were not happy that we got together alone and had other activities that of their interest.

But see.... We are friends, more of just acquittances. We are not committed to each other. And we don't necessarily share everything in common except a language.

We didn't even explain anything to the other.

Last month on Pongal day, all the 4 Hindu people in the same group had common plans and attended a temple trip where i was left out to do office works back at duty station.
I would have enjoyed Pongal, but not necessarily the long temple trip as i am not Hindu. They were right to omit me, but for a moment i too felt ignored.
It happens. But it is a matter of how you take it.

 

I has happened to me,in my case my friends made new friends and is totally ignoring me and doi g get to get hers with them,