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Negative vibes

Discussion in 'Queries on Religion & Spirituality' started by SGBV, Aug 23, 2013.

  1. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    I get you ladies.... You speak my mind.. Thanks

    If he is my neighbor or friend, I would not have this much of difficulties in changing them. I would rather leave them for good. But unfortunately, this person happen to be my husband, and we are in a marriage with kids. His happiness, success, failure and all is ours now. So, I have a greater responsibility in changing him, else what he faces today may be the case with everyone else tomorrow. This is my fear. I am already seeing it now...

    I am planning to have an open discussion with my husband tomorrow....

    I need suggestions from you all.... He is a man with few words. He also has no listening capacity. So, explaining him on something is very difficult task for me.

    I want him to understand that he should behave normal if not good. He should not treat people low or show off as if he is the best person on this earth. People follow him naturally by seeing his qualities, and not by seeing his richness or self praising words. Eventhough if someone follows him after listening to his self praising words, the person will come behind him for his selfish need only. And he can simply leave him in no time once he thinks his need is no longer going to be fed.

    Having good souls around itself a huge strength... I worked in a company for 5 yrs, and gained lots of good remarks from all. I resigned my job in 2008, went abroad, and came back in 2011. When I wanted to re-join the same company in 2012, I had no issues. They wanted me, and gave me a high post.
    But my husband joined the same company in 2009 to my seat after my depature, and had issues with many and resigned in 2010. Now there are plenty of vacancies, but no one consider his applications.

    As a staff member and as a person, everyone likes me as before. But when it comes to certain situation to consider me as a wife of my husband, I still find it odd with some staff. So, imagine how much negativity they must be having against my husband within this 1 year of his working time here.

    These are the things that I want my husband to see.. But I am sure, before even I start the conversation, he would come back with a new remedy and say.."see from Dec 2013 on wards my stars are changing, and I am going to get good lucks forever'... This has been the case forever.
     
  2. superwoman09

    superwoman09 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi SGBV,

    You can make a person see the positive only if that person is willing to change. It has to come from within him and not from you. Otherwise all attempts on your side will be futile.
     
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  3. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    This is my fear... I hope only through prayers I can change him... Coz there is nothing that God can not do
     
  4. Maddy2087

    Maddy2087 Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes negative thoughts lead to negative output. There is a concept known as programmed thinking in where our actions, future are a result of positive/ negative thoughts we program our mind with me. You wouldn't believe many people have overcome their worst fear and behavioral pattern with placebo effect .You can search in the net for detailed knowledge .
     
  5. Maddy2087

    Maddy2087 Platinum IL'ite

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    You can do a trick .. that would exactly be a placebo effect.
    Talk to the astrologer whom he is in contact with for a long time, convince him to convey to him to think good in life, think positive in life ,meditate , be empathetic to the sufferings of others , do good to underprivileged people, meditate for some time a day and inculcate positive thoughts in life. Doing these things will bring in good luck and he will be free from all the unhappiness in life. Only the astrologer and you must know the truth about this, you may pay him extra to agree to this act. I am sure this will build in a placebo effect in his mind and he will gradually start following the wise words of his astrologer thinking it is sure to give him good luck. Hope it helps :)
     
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  6. superwoman09

    superwoman09 Gold IL'ite

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    Please do have your faith in God. It definitely can work miracles. Remove your fears completely. Talk to him if possible and you try to do the right thing irrespective. Do not let his negativity get to you. I know it is easier said than done because the person in question is your life partner and there is no way you can limit your association or joint ventures with him. You will know for what to depend on him and for what not to in due course of time and then handle accordingly. Let the pregnancy phase pass. Keep emotions at minimum because all you think affects your baby.
     
  7. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    I have no luck with that too Maddy. Poor me

    My husband's favorite astrologer is his dad. His dad has zero knowledge in astrology, but he reads and meets with several other astrologers regularly, and has a say in his children's astrological issues. They blindly believe in him and consult with him for whatever the matter.

    His dad has this negative attitude, so regardless of astrology the attitude is inherited from him.... He only warns my husband time to time as to how to treat people, how to be safe and what not. Like a dad warning his 10 year old son when going out. My poor husband and his siblings too listen as if they are listening to their Gods.

    They think I am so modern and independent and I don't suit to their society... Just because of the love, my husband is with me, else he would have been gone miles away from me, for this very basic independent nature of mine
     
  8. Maddy2087

    Maddy2087 Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh i c . You stay positive things will getter better with time.
     
  9. saibaba171819

    saibaba171819 Silver IL'ite

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    Dear SGBV

    I can understand your worry, I have a similar background with me too. I can tell you how I tried to resolve it. My husband is a similar kind of person, he will not share his things with anyone, not with me too or my daughter. he never give a penny to us for our expense and if anytime he give, he keeps repeating that I did this favour to you. His family member too also are same kind of people, I used to get frustrated and sad always. There are list of things which is really very sad. I used to get scared due to this behaviour of his. But I came out of this tension. I am working in a private firm, When i started earninn well, I started slowly practicing many charitable things from my salary which started bringing me happiness. Everymonth from my salary a small portion goes to a Orphanage, I have taken up the education sponsorship of a boy from a orphanage. I donate something or other to my office peons, cleaning ladies, or in temples. I offer grains to birds everyday in my balcony ,As soon as I wake up, I chant some prayers which keeps me safe and at Night I say a thankyou to my saibaba for keeping me safe. My husband and my children are not aware of this at all. Slowly my life is changing, my life is becoming much happier, much blessed, my bad luck is getting decreased. I dont know how it is happening, but yes, some miracle is happening in my life. Please do something like this, wait and watch, things will get cleared, problems will get solved.

    May you and your family be blessed with happiness always.

    Rekha Menon
     
  10. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Rekha

    I have been already doing all the above and much more since my childhood. Except offering food to the birds, I think I contribute a lot officially and personally to the unfortunates. I have lots of luck, and I personally do not have any problems as such.

    My problem is my husband. He has lots of bad fortune since beginning, and he is lazy to come out of it. He names it astrological problem, as he was brainwashed this way by his family.
    He also has this bad habit of hurting people, and not trusting anyone. He always wants to show others that he is superior than them, so sometimes (most of the time) he says irrelevant things to show off who he is.

    He also nods his head with some stronger people, and never say a NO to them with the fear of losing respect from them. He acts selfishly by forgetting what is right and what is wrong.

    For instance - If a maid do something wrong, he becomes extra furious and sometimes he doesn't even have the heart to excuse her, but fire her from work.
    But if a high level person in our community commits even a worst wrong doing, and that affects us badly, my husband won't say anything, but sometimes he stands by that person and say irrelevant things in favor of him.

    This nature has come exactly from his family as this is how they are...

    I dont want my husband to look selfish, and get all the bad cursing from ill fortunate people. At the same time he gets nothing from those high people, as they tend to forget him, or take his nature for granted to do anything bad against us (me).

    I want him to be on his own self...
     

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