Thanks @nuss It feels so refreshing to hear positive stories of real life cases. I am actually feeling better about the fact that I didn't give up this time, but moved at least an inch towards making my spouse responsible. I understand that he needs so much external push, and I accept that I was not that great in pushing him positively in the past. I try, but I get fed up so quickly. As you said, it takes so much efforts to actually believe there are people who are not willing to achieve what they should do, despite of having all the qualifications in hand. But now, I understand there are different extremes. I came from a family where everyone worked so hard regardless of their barriers to uplift their life style to a different level. But sadly, my H and all his family depended on their extended relatives to sponsor their living and other needs. All they did was to curse those uncles, who refuse to help or conducted poojas to make the other uncles stay generous always. They are all educated, and spent a lot of money to attain their qualifications, yet they don't see any reasons to work or earn independently for their needs. Nevertheless, I am not gonna give up now. I am not sure how far I can make him to take responsibilities, but I feel there is no harm in trying. If God's blessings are with me, I hope my H will at least find a good job to clear his own debts. This way, he will at least smell the taste of being independent and earning. Hopefully the rest will fall in place. What you have described about your BIL is what I see in my H too. His obsessions about expensive gadgets, and accessories, that too when we suffered bad finances. He has a collection of all the expensive cloths, gadgets and what not. And not to mention.... he buys the same for myself and the kids if he has cash in hand. He doesn't think about savings at all. He has no plans about present or future financial needs like kid's school fees, or any other burning such as medical or emergency. He will conveniently look up on me when such burdens come. But when he has money (of course he gets bonus, and allowances time to time), he spends them all. I repeatedly tell him that I don't mind about his luxurious spending. But all I want him is to look for a better job, so that he could earn more and spend more, while paying off his debts, and contributing for the family simultaneously. Now a days, he keeps on spending more, while earning very little. That's why he is in debts. Nevertheless, I continue to keep my priorities clear. The option#2 is still in my mind. Perhaps, I may let go of this offer now. But I will continue to apply for similar positions to see how soon I could grab such a career when things are at least under my control (Mom's health, kid's age etc). Because, I can't always hope for a change. I believe, I too need to do something about the change. There are mountains of financial needs that I see before us. Kids are growing, and their education, future etc Besides, we are getting older and there are medical needs too. And we can't always work energetically like this. So, when age and other factors are in our favor, we must do something. That's my motto. Hope, one day like your sister, I too will get to enjoy my life with all the well deserved peace and luxuries Thanks again for all your support.