I am so confused, that I need other people's opinion to make a decision right now. I have shared half of my problems here under different thread and posts, so those who follow me know what I am up to. For the newbies, I am just sharing the basic pointers here: We had a love marriage, much against to both sets of parents. We did not expect any inheritance or wealth from parents, so we had to start our life from the scratch. Nevertheless, we had to compete with our peers and siblings whose life were well cushioned by their parent's wealth. So, we made ourselves into a toughest situation, where we reached out to highly paying jobs to kick start our lives. I was fortunate enough to secure a job in abroad immediately after marriage - which came with its own disadvantages, such as non-family duty station, hardships, and risks, yet paid a great salary. My H had all the ambitions like me, but everything changed after marriage, specially after I have left him. He suddenly became so lazy, and felt content with a most flexible job - which paid very very lower salary. Initially I didn't mind, but later I tried my level best to make him understand that he too needs to earn, so that we can settle down with a decent life. But he didn't reciprocate to what I suggested. After a while, it felt like I was singlehandedly suffering alone for the ambitions, while my H patched up with his folks, and lived a much better bachelors life at home. So, I moved back home much to his annoyance, and pulled him with me to start a new life within our limits. He suddenly lost his job, and we both suffered without a job; hence ate up whatever we had managed to save with my abroad job earlier. Since that time, my H has been struggling to settle with a good job. He is so settled with a simple job, and has no courage or likes towards upgrading his life style. Since day 1, it is me who is being the primary bread winner in the family. It is me, who has built our house, brought our cars, brought our funiture and all the luxuries, but my H would only provide little little side supports only. His salary is not even enough for the mysterious credit card payments he needs to make every month. Besides, he is expected to support his FOO. With all this going on, he has very little for himself or his own family. I tried my best my forcing him to get better jobs. I have even applied for him. But he showed least interest; hence didn't secured any. I tried my best by quitting my job citing family demands, and expected him to take up his manly role as a provider. But he failed. He too suffered whatever the hardship we had to face with my decision to quit my job. I then tried to stick to a much convenient job, which paid an equal salary as his. But then, we were only eating up our savings, and not making any investments. Which seemed scary. But my H is not bothered about it at all. Its been almost a decade since we are married, but my H is yet to do anything for the family when it comes to monitory matters. Even if a furniture needs a replacement, or a bulb need to be fixed, I need to sponsor. If I don't have the cash, no one will invest on it. So imagine about our other needs like kid's school admission, health concerns, and all... Knowing this, I made a plan to block some of his money to our home, by making him commit to an EMI for a car. I offered him some down payment, and made him buy his own car (instead of using my car and causing us inconvenience), so now he is paying this monthly EMI. This way, at least a certain % of his salary is spent for our family/with my knowledge. With this, he has stopped even the little little expenditure he covered for us. Never mind. I can make tactful efforts like this, but the results are not very convincing. Now a days, I feel we can't go on and on like this, specially we have 2 growing kids with all the educational needs and demands coming ahead of us. Due to our initial need to kick start our life, we decided to chose our career in private sector, which offered a fantastic salary. It is true that we(I) were able to invest in our settlement with whatever we(I) could earn with this private sector salary back then. But now, I regret the choice, because our jobs are not permanent, and not pensionable. When my siblings and peers are able to secure a decent Govt job with pension though with simple salary (because they only needed money to maintain a life style, and not like us to start everything from the scratch), they will be fine in the future with retirement funds and stuff. In our case, we must have a sound saving for everything. I've made peace with my H's irresponsibility, as I know he can do only so much, and expecting him to change is pointless. So, I've decided not to waste my time and energy when the right opportunity is placed before me. I've got a couple of job offers, with equal risks and hardships as per the monitory advantages they offered. It's part of my field, as I am into legal/political/humanitarian sector. Please refer this thread Career Choices - Which One To Choose? According to the thread I attached, I have chosen option #1, and staying away from family during work week. I only meet my kids during weekends, and everything goes fine between all of us. But I get a very small saving from this job, which will make me to work like this forever. Now that I am placed with this option #2, and I will have to make a decision soon. With this one, my mom will have to take up the extra burden of looking after my kids at my absence all the days. She is OK, and will do that for me with the help of a permanent maid. If so, I will have to stay away from home for 2 months at a stretch, but then I will get 3-4 weeks of vacation after every 2 months. So, I can compensate my absence to some extend. This way, my salary and savings would be much high. As well, I can quit after a couple of years when the need arises and settle with a simple job to maintain a life style like others. But my mom is bothered about the fact that her DD (myself) suffers the hardships, while her SNIL enjoys a comfortable life. She believes, this should have been otherwise, and my hard works and efforts are contributing to my H's laziness. She is not wrong. And last time it was a bitter experience when I had to suffer all alone, while my H changed his mind and didn't contribute at all. But it was a history, and happened a decade back. Now that, I don't wanna lose this golden opportunity for thinking of my past. I don't believe that my H will ever change. He is a great husband otherwise - that alone the single change he has shown since the past , so I have no other complaints here. I am really confused, because I am already battling with my fears about the hardship that I will have to face in the work place. Amidst this, I am expected to convince my mom, pretending everything will be fine. While I am confident that my decision is right, I am also shaken a bit when my mom confuses me like this. Any advice????