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Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Barbie2013, Jan 3, 2012.

  1. Barbie2013

    Barbie2013 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi indusladies,

    I got married one year back.
    From then there is no physical relationship between me and my husband.

    he travelled to US within 20 days after marriage

    He delayed a lot in getting a dependent visa for me

    Finally i travelled to US after 10 months after marriage

    Then i have gone thro a lot of harrasment

    Now he is asking me to give divorce

    I dont want to give without getting a proper reason from his side

    Till now he never treated me as his wife

    Without talking to me itself he is simply saying we are incompatible

    I doubt that he is impotent

    Pls let me know how to proceeed,

    I really want to get a proper reason from his side for demanding divorce
     
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  2. injustice

    injustice Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi induslady

    Welcome to usa
    Sorry for your situation.

    Did you ask uour husband about the reason behind divorce?
    Did you tell to your parents about this?
    Dear sit with him and talk smoothly and know what is the reason behind that .
     
  3. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    Might be he has another woman in his life & want to start life with her.

    Inform your parents & his parents, tell him that unless you know the reason you won't agree to it. If you stand firm, he has to come out & tell. As you might know already, he would like to push for mutual divorce. If you don't agree it would be a contested one.
     
  4. passionate89

    passionate89 Platinum IL'ite

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    May be he has another affair.. This is what strikes my mind when your husband asks for divorce without even knowing you completely... He is not even giving a chance to understand you...

    Try to talk to him patiently, discuss about this with his parents and him,...
     
  5. shruthisp

    shruthisp Gold IL'ite

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    I guess the detailed info are needed for analysing the situation..
    what happened in the intial 20 days of marriage? and on the 10 months of seperation? was there ever cordial loving feeling and actions like talking/caring for other?
    what and why there was harrasments?
    Why do u doubt the potency?
    If you think and answers to questions like this then you would know whether the relationship was worth fighting for or letting go for peace...
    Again married relationship takes two, one cant fight to save when the other has decided to break...
    suggestion would be have a open talk if that doesnt work out then inform parents and then decide what bring peace for both sides..
     
  6. Barbie2013

    Barbie2013 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Sruti,

    I look very thin. In the initial days he avoided him telling that i dont look gud etc.,.
    No girl can show intimacy if her husband talks like that
    I thought let the gud time come to express my feelings
    He never used to pick my calls
    rarely he used to call me from US
    He used to avoid me when i tried to show intimacy.
    he never spent time with me to conclude that we r incompatible
    So i doubt that he is impotent

    To hide that truth may be he is acting like this and avoiding me
    Torturing me so that in that confusion i may give divorce
    This is what i understood

    Waiting for ur views
     
  7. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    I seriously doubt whether you looking thin is the reason. He saw you & agreed to married you right? How can this be the reason. Either as you pointed out he is impotent or he has another affair.
    Have you sat & talked to him? Have you informed his behaviour to anybody like his parents, your parents?Only you alone can decide whether this relation is worth fighting for or how unbearable the situation there?
     
  8. shruthisp

    shruthisp Gold IL'ite

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    Juz go through this thread..
    if u find the same pattern then u gotta be more strong...

    This is juz shifting blame.. Not an acceptable reason...
    What is his answers if u ask back why did he said yes for marriage after seeing you..

    As BB told, only two possibilities either its impotency or affair...
    Try to figure out if there is a possibility of affair..

    But after all these things end of the day its ur life and u gotta decide whether its worth spending ur energy and fight or cut the losses and move on...
     
  9. Barbie2013

    Barbie2013 Silver IL'ite

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    he had affairs with many girls but not interested in marriage with any of them. This is what i heard from him.
    But the relationship with them went only upto certain extent.
    The girls are very interested in him ready to have livein also with him
    Still he went only upto certain extent.

    Thatsy i m doubting its impotency.
    When a girl is trying to be intimate with u no guy on this earth misses the chance

    But he did. Thats the reason i m doubting its impotency

    he roamed with all beautiful girls before marriage.
    If my looks are important for him he could have marriaed them and rejected me.
     
  10. ushae

    ushae Silver IL'ite

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    If you are sure of his impotency, finally sit with him and ask straight away this.

    There are many ways to cure this. There are many ways to enjoy & live with this also.

    If he is not ready for any thing, try for divorce
     

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