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Need To Restart Life And Career At Age 36 With Infant Child

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Cool10, May 14, 2016.

  1. Nagavenugopal

    Nagavenugopal New IL'ite

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    As Mr cool said. file Husband missing or cheating case. on ILS and SILS put harassment case. demand for your dowry given to them and gold given to them. Find a weak point in your H may be put ILS and SILS in jail or house arrest which makes him comeback. do not convince with his words ask for Money returning money. Once he comes back take his passport. until he clear dues do not leave them.

    You should be strong in dealing this. take support from your relatives. After recovery you will have sufficient money to survive. Have another marriage and have happy life and do not fell in the trap of such people.
     
  2. sbonigala

    sbonigala Platinum IL'ite

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    Leave the man not the job.
    36 is not a age old kinda number. You have beautiful future ahead.
    Culture is changing. Single moms are not treated like earlier. They are treated with respect now a days.
    Generation is changing. By leaving an abuser - you will be a living example for your daughter to believe in "abuser need not be entertained, come what may" and you are also teaching her "life before love marriage and after love marriage is very different and that just because someone is good today does not guarantee that he wont be an idiot later on"

    Time to update your CV, iron work wear, get some cool gear on and black out the past.
    Stand up for yourself and show him you can very well manage without an abuser and that you deserve much more in life than what he offered.

    P.S You are not taking away the family atmosphere from your child's childhood. Instead you are giving her a right atmosphere to grow up. Just because he was involved in the birth does not make him a dad - it take a lot to be a dad. If she grows up with this man, she will come to believe and accept that abuse is the way of life and perfectly normal. Please don't do that to her. We want our girls to slap both the cheeks of a man who raises his hand on our girls.
     
    Bubbles likes this.
  3. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

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    Cool10,
    Don't switch because of what other people will think/say. Its easier to join the same company after maternity leave than put effort into preparation and join a new one. After joining a new one, you will need some more time to adjust and get familiar with the new team over there. These 'other people' will be everywhere. They will talk and get over it. So don't worry about them.

    Any future conversations you have, record it. Keep a copy of all financial transactions you have done for them handy. It will help. At the moment, stop thinking about paying them or not. Just proceed with your job and taking care of your kid for the next few months.

    What will happen if you don't respond to them and don't pay? There are very high chances of your H coming back to you for money, because they need you.
     
  4. soulful

    soulful Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, you have taken the first and the hardest step - refusing to take this abuse. You have come back to your parents and are thinking about how to manage from here on. This is a huge success and requires courage that most women do not have. Like others have said - contact a lawyer. Start working. Leave your child with your parents. Do NOT give your ilaws any money. If they are asking for child's security - tell them - child is with YOU and YOU will put FD in her account. Thankyou! If you do want to record this dowry - demand conversation, you can call them to "discuss" these demands and record it during that session. (consult legal advice first). All the best.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2016
    Bubbles likes this.
  5. shilpaprincess

    shilpaprincess Senior IL'ite

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    Hi

    Why can't you marry again.
     

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