Need To Restart Life And Career At Age 36 With Infant Child

@Cool10
IMO,reconciling is always good. but do not succumb to their unfair demands of money.i have hopes that if you start legal proceedings thru a lawyer, your DH and in laws may clean up their act and show willingness to reconcile. you know them better. so think about it. Since you are already employed, it clears a lot of hurdles in your path. You can also demand financial support for your kid's condition. As far as i know, it will require a surgery. One of my friends had a baby born with the same condition and they did a surgery to fix it with in one month of her birth. It was done in Chennai. If you need info in that regard, I can find out for you. Please stay strong and do what ever it takes to make sure your child as well as you have a better future.

 

OP...just read your previous threads.Looks like your husband has been an emotional and financial liability on you.He lets his family abuse you.He sends all his money to his family and then uses your salary to run the house.

What does he bring to this marriage?
If anything,he is the loser now.

Why should you feel embarrassed by the situation .He should be the one feeling ashamed and looking for another job.
If you file a dowry case,he will be the one hiding his face.
Hold your head high and get ready for a battle.Whether you separate or not,having these people in your life itself is a battle.

As for your little princess,since you work in an IT company,you must have good family medical insurance from your company.Check it out and get her treated.

Don't worry about parents.They will help you out because not helping you out will hurt them more.

Best Wishes OP .Hugs to you and your little one.

 

OP,
wait wait... why are you worrying about 'what will people say'? To hell with them! why should you change your job? You have done nothing to feel ashamed or to hide your face! Face them proudly and openly. Dont worry about changing jobs right now. Your plate is full enough as it is. Take parents help and move forward one step at a time. Go to an ngo and file a complaint if they start harassing you again for money.

 

Dear

Why should you feel embarrassed to go back to the office?
It is your husband who is shying away to be the man, and take responsibilities for his wife and newborn? That too when the newborn is sick and needs a lot of care.
His family is demanding dowry and unrealistic things
Your husband is promising to take his sister and kid instead of his own family.
All in all, they are wronged. They should be brought to light and shamed.
You, as a victim of this abuse should be sympathized, supported and at last for your braveness, your colleagues should applaud to you.

He and his family are the abusers. Not you.
If at all one should feel embarrassed at this broken marriage, it should be your husband. Not you.

First of all, you should love yourself. Start supporting to your self.
Go back to work. You need money than rest at this stage.
Get your parents to support you with the kid
Inform your husband's cruelty and his family's plan to all at work.
If possible prove it with e-mail or any other evidence.

Tell your parents clearly that you will never re-join with him. Make a full-stop to the demand.
Tell in laws that you will call the police if they disturb you again.

Start to collect all the evidence.
File the maintenance case. Get records of your kid's heart problems and attach them with the court case. This way, you will get a good maintenance.

An IT staff's income is more than enough to run her small family, which is just you and kid.
Save as much as you can.

 

PS: As for the little one's heart problems...
Not sure what stage she is in...
When my DD was born, she was suspected with a weird hear murmur.
And Drs suspected of a hole in her heart.
However, I went for 2nd and 3rd opinion in different places.
When she was just 10 days, the first ECCO test was done. It revealed the problem.
But the 6th month ECCO test showed it differently. They said, she is improving, yet it is not exactly hole in the heart.
At the age of 1, another ECCO was performed, and she is completely out of problem. It was cured on its own as expected.
I have taken various tests to confirm it. Now my DD is 2.5 yrs, and perfectly normal.

I am Christian, and I place everything in the hands of God. He saved me and my kid.
I very much believe, yours is also a similar problem like mine. Hopefully, your DD will recover on her own.
My Dr said out of 100 cases at this stage, 75 will recover on their own. Hope for the best.

However, please have an eye on your medical insurance plan too

 

PS: As for the little one's heart problems...
Not sure what stage she is in...
When my DD was born, she was suspected with a weird hear murmur.
And Drs suspected of a hole in her heart.
However, I went for 2nd and 3rd opinion in different places.
When she was just 10 days, the first ECCO test was done. It revealed the problem.
But the 6th month ECCO test showed it differently. They said, she is improving, yet it is not exactly hole in the heart.
At the age of 1, another ECCO was performed, and she is completely out of problem. It was cured on its own as expected.
I have taken various tests to confirm it. Now my DD is 2.5 yrs, and perfectly normal.

I am Christian, and I place everything in the hands of God. He saved me and my kid.
I very much believe, yours is also a similar problem like mine. Hopefully, your DD will recover on her own.
My Dr said out of 100 cases at this stage, 75 will recover on their own. Hope for the best.

However, please have an eye on your medical insurance plan too

 

correct, if u hide his cruetly and u feel guilty to face ur colleagues , the cruelty never ends. as long as it is hidden in your heart and between four walls, ur h will not come to his senses.

 

my nephew has several holes in his heart, but he has valve issue too, that is severe issue. but he is in 10+2 now, not so good , but doing ok in life. but for him small town doctors said he will not survive, when he was young. later they went to wockhard (bangalore) to get eco cardiogram , they said at age 8 they do surgery. later he was shown in narayana hrudayalaya (bangalore) where he got one surgery done for valve issue. one more is needed they said. but his case is severe one.

lot of his holes got corrected by itself as growing as per doctors.

if u close to bangalore go to narayana hrudayalaya, they got very good name for heart related issues.

 

@Cool10
I am so sorry that you have to go through all this. I read some of your previous threads and I am hoping that everything turns better for you and your DD. I am appalled that people could stoop down to that level.
You have got some good replies here. Please do not care about what others think. It is your H and ILs who need to feel ashamed for their cheap behavior. You need to continue working to support yourself and your child.
How long has your H blocked you and cut all sorts of communication with you? Is it possible that your ILs demand of money is behind your H back? Do you think you H does not care care about your precious daughter and you at all? You should think about all these before thinking about reconciliation. If you come to know that all this happened with your H support, then he does not deserve your and your child's love. I've seen (and read here) that many men do not stand up for their dear wife against their parent's and sister's abuses; but what kind of a man gives up his own child for the sake of his parents/sisters/sister's kids? You need to take the help of law and make him pay for child support and alimony.
As others said, please try to collect some evidence like you can email him (use old id; if blocked then create new id and mention that he has blocked his old id hence you created new id) about this unreasonable demand of money and other cheap things your ILs said and did and hopefully if you H responds you need to save the reply. Don't give any hint that you are considering divorce before you have evidence. These monsters should at the least pay (in money) for their deeds. They do deserve much more punishment but let God take care of it.
You and your DD are in my prayers!! Take care!

 

My response is in pink.