Need thoughts on parenting kids

3 year olds are supposed to be stubborn and be happy about it! At that age children develop their own will and that should be nurtured. Do not give in on important stuff (brushing teeth, going to sleep etc) but let him choose smaller stuff (what shirt to wear, what toys to play with etc).

 

You need to look at parenting websites. Sites like baby whisperer, super nanny, baby centre, living Montessori etc. have tons of articles about how to handle the stubborn streak. Follow their suggestions consistently. Only consistency will help the child.

My friend's child ordered a particular ice cream; once it came he threw a tantrum that he wanted another flavour. He refused to listen to reason and expected his stubbornness and screaming to get him what he wanted. He lost the one she had bought him too instead. She just threw it away and walked away with him kicking and screaming. This was before I had a child and I thought she was being wasteful but the child learnt a valuable lesson that day. It seems she spoke to him about it at night; she followed up with another couple of instances when he threw tantrums and it stopped.

Now with a child I can see how easy it would be to give in; but that just teaches the child that bad behaviour gets results. Let the child cry and scream - my daughter would sometimes make herself so sick with crying earlier but she knew that wouldn't get her what she wanted nor my attention. now she automatically reaches out for water, states she is very angry, goes away, calms down and then talks to me normally and reasonably when she is calmer; then we reach an agreement. It is a long process takes a lot of time and the child still loses it when she is tired or hungry but overall it is totally worth it.

 

yes i totally agree with guesshoo..water their stubbornness and it will grow with time.
i did same thing with my DD. being first child and having heart of mother i never scolded or allowed her to do work. but as she is growing and becoming lazy i got good lesson and knew my mistake. now i dont pay attention to all her drama and she cried once and twice and got that it is waste so she dont bother or giver herself trouble ideasmiley

sometimes you have to keep doing experiments with children. as you son is still small i would suggest take tender steps and not harsh one.


whatever you do make sure it is constructive way. to love being parent is ok but similarly being bit strict and teach discipline is equally important.

 

I am a working mom and even I am in the same situation as yours with my 3 year old daughter. Last week she refused to return back from school when her grandpa went to pick her and demanded for her grandma to pick..she had gone and waited in her principal's room until her grandma reached school and took her.
After reaching home that evening from office, I told her in polite and firm manner, if she does this again grandma will not come for the pick up and she has to stay at school until mamma comes to pick her after office hours say 7 PM or 8 PM. I asked herself to decide if she wants to return home with grandpa or wait until I come to pick her in evening.Things started going smoothly after this.

Leave until they settle them during tantrums and later talk politely to explain the situation.