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Need Suggestions

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Sweety2016, May 12, 2019.

  1. Sweety2016

    Sweety2016 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi all
    I am here to seek a suggestion...so mil, sil and kids are here for the past one week..mil will stay back for some time...sil will return back after 2 weeks...I tried my best to be a good host...my cook and maid did all chores and all they did was sit and gossip...they commented about my home etc etc..nothing good comes from their mouths..i absolutely had no issues with it and was happy with the kids...some minor argument s happened with h due to them. H is trying so hard to impress them...all I could do is sympathise him...
    The issue is during mealtime they start complaining about food continuously...I ignored this behaviour to a great extent...I felt so sorry for my cook...she cook good with less oil, spices and salt ..anybody who wants it may add it ..I tried telling them the same but they were not doing the same...these are the same ladies who does all the work and cooking at their home...though their food is loaded with oil and all unhealthy stuffs, I just eat it without complaining to respect the host when I visit...but they think that they are master chefs when they really are not!!! They also eat so much of junk food and complain that it's because of my food!
    So a heated conversation happened where they started telling from tomorrow on we will teach the cook etc..by the way they don't know hindi..i told calmly, she may get confused...and we cook this way with less oil because it's good for health and that's how we eat always...they retorted fine, we will cook for ourselves...ask cook to make it only for your family...I felt bad and tried convincing but these are adamant sorts!! H told to leave it to their wish...
    Today onwards they are cooking separately...though the children loves my food, they forcibly feed them what they made...I also showed as if I don't care...what is the best way to tackle people like these??? Otherwise the situation at home is normal...if I ignore they will say I did not even feed them when they visited me...I feel irritated on seeing how my energy is getting wasted unnecessarily dealing with all this crap

    Suggestions please ladies to handle this?
     
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  2. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    Respect their decision. Let MIL cook what she wants to eat.. What is wrong if she feeds her grand child. If you like her cooking, you can eat too. May be you can ask cook to assist( preparation, cleaning etc) her while she cook or you can assist her or allow her to do what she wants.

    It's ok to adjust for a few days. That's expected if we visit someone else house. But here they are family members. Also its not good to ask someone to eat what they dont like especially when they are staying there for long. Its important to respect others choices. You can continue eating what you like.

    Dont make it a big issue. Be empathetic to MIL
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2019
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  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Let her cook.
    If you do not like her cooking,you ask the cook to prepare yours.
    Don't stop hubby from eating her cooked food.
    No matter what ' maa ke haath ka khana' is more treasured than cook ke haath ka khana.

    If it is too unhealthy,you can suppliment it with some salads and other healthy options.

    Or let her cook her stuff . Ask cook to make side dishes like spout salad,raita ,plain rotis etc so that the food is still fairly healthy.

    Best would be to put everything on the table and let everyone eat what they want.
     
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  4. kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

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    They already solved your problem by saying they want to cook their own food. Good. Atleast they didn't ask to change the cook :)

    Every one has their own style of food habits whether healthy or not, so let them cook their own food in their own style. As Yellowmango mentioned, don't stop your husband to eat his mother's made food. Let him enjoy his mom's food if he likes.
     
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  5. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Sweety2016, dear, please rise above these silly kitchen turf battles. You can think and write this: Gabfest: And Thereby Hangs A Tail. Leave this saas/bahu/nanand (MIL/DIL/SIL) dramas to them.

    Sweety, please, kripiya, por favor, don't stoop to caring about what they will say. You are damned no matter what you do. Leave them be.

    Exactly. Getting wasted unnecessarily. Stop this wastage forthwith.
     
  6. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Forget the saas bahu drama , I am super that jealous you have a cook !
     
  7. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    :clap2:
    However, I wondered if rising above would include a kitchen lecture on the viscosity of sambhar (w/ google translate help for Hindi and Tamil), or a discussion on the phase diagram of oil-in-rasam.

    A hired cook that the lady of the home likes, is a grand luxury. An occasional visit from nasty in-laws is the appropriate (god designed?) spice in life, so that the lady would go on to appreciate her cook even more.
     
  8. Sweety2016

    Sweety2016 Gold IL'ite

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    Ladies you made me crack up:) Thank you for the insights...Cook has gone on a vacation now and MIL is cooking for us as well and has reorganized the kitchen.She strongly feels its where she belongs...It seems she woke up at 4.00 in the morning to arrange stuffs..All of us gave a sigh....I manage the 3 little demons!!
    Now I have started thinking of viscosity of sambhar:) It is a non newtonian rheopectic fluid whose viscosity increases with thermal stresses and time:):)
     
  9. Afresh

    Afresh Gold IL'ite

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    now thats some Gyan..i better memorise this :)
     
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  10. pocahontas

    pocahontas Gold IL'ite

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    Girl. You crack me up. You are the just the nerdy friend I need here! Thermodynamics ke classes yaad aa gaye!
     
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