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Need some suggestion about some one in Bharat matrimony

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ivlakshmi, Dec 26, 2011.

  1. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Friends,
    I have put up my profile in Bharat matrimony with out complete name but with salary and job..(i am a divorcee)
    I sent request to a guy and he replied saying "like ur profile..pls send ur pic so that i can show that to my parents"..
    later I sent my picture and asked to "send his complete name, pic and horoscope". he replied the following way:
    I have also some problem like you . but i want to talk to you personally first , if you like further we can tell our parents after that .
    if its ok then , I will call you and fix an meeting personally . if you don;t mind


    Can I trust this guy? he has put up in profile as unmarried.
     
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  2. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    ivlakshmi
    I would not trust as simple as that..

    You can reply to him stating that he needs to give you all his details first.. and later if you also like you will think about the meeting..

    I know it is frustrating, but i have only one suggestion, do not be in a hurry lakshmi, you will get your partner soon. (i saw your other thread for pooja..)
     
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  3. inlovewithmylyf

    inlovewithmylyf Platinum IL'ite

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    No, don't make the mistake of meeting him without ur parents knowing... U have put up ur profile in BM and he has also done that, u sent him a request and he has accepted that, his next step should be let his parents know and u let ur parents know about this proposal... Before that don't meet him... When u put up ur profile in BM, it means that ur going for an arranged marriage... And this guy is some one whom u dont even know, so u need to take it step by step... Like after ur parents come to know of this proposal, they need to talk to his parents, if u believe in horoscope matching, see if the horoscopes match each other, u need to talk to each other and like each other, see if u both are compatible with each other, enquire about him and his family, they might also do the same... There are a number of steps involved, before that dont rush to meet him even before knowing his name... Remember, u dont even know who he is, his name or anything, if he is really genuine or if he is just doing it for time-pass(many guys do that on BM)... What made him send such a reply to u??? Did u give any personnal details in that profile like about ur previous marriage other than divorcee??? And did u mention that the profile has been created by urself??? If yes, that could be the reason he sent such a reply... Change it to "Profile created by parents"... Anyways, u need to be extra careful this time...
     
  4. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    It would be prudent to ask for his details and pic before meeting him. This one sounds strange as he wants your ph number (never give, then he can trace your address )without telling anything about himself.
    Please dont send your picture without getting a guys details.
     
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  5. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Ivlakshmi, He has a big blinker on. What man will say he also has some problem like you in second response to you. You are not family or friend to confide so soon about problems or any insecurities as such. As other ladies said please involve elders. They are your safety cushion. Becoz you may not know n number of people but elders may usually know n+1. So thats still +1 and that +1 may know this fellow. You never know. I wudnt proceed if I were you. It has warning signs all over. I know you are dejected about how your marriage proceedings are going on.But dont rush. You already had a bad experience. So this time make doubly sure before you proceed. You have to meet your match. When you do you will know. This person is not him. He is unsure about himself. He wanted to involve parents first then later he wanted to talk to you first. What made him change his mind after seeing your picture. That itself is a warning sign. Think carefully. Good Luck.
     
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  6. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Friends,

    I have created my profile saying "self" .. also kept that my marriage was short lived ..did not give in depth details..
    I did keep my picture but have hidden it.. I did show my picture to this guy..
    I have hidden my phone number/mail id but shared it in personal messages that was sent to few people.. (as the other people cant see it). Any suggestions please pour in.
     
  7. Gaur78

    Gaur78 Gold IL'ite

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    Most of the guys in those sites would enjoy chatting with unknown. I foresee some kind of trap in his message. Don't you? Next time, when you receive similar message from guys, report it as spam. No genuine guy would ask your contact number and personal meeting. Don't trust people like them?
     
  8. AshMenon

    AshMenon Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Going by your message, I can only see danger signs about the guy. BM is a matrimonial site and not a dating site to keep it away from parents as a secret. Always take time to understand the person and then decide. And please do not agree to meet/converse with the guy without your parents knowing about it. My advise is keep your parents in loop. Always. As the saying goes "Better safe, than sorry"
     
  9. inlovewithmylyf

    inlovewithmylyf Platinum IL'ite

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    Have u still not changed it to "Profile created by parents"??? Please do that first... U have mentioned that u have created it urself, that could be the reason he sent u such a message... He must have thought that ur the one doing everything and ur parents are not involved in anything, so he can meet u, talk and trap u(if thats his intention, which I strongly believe is Yes)... Even some orthodox parents from the groom's side don't prefer profiles of girls created by self... First he said, he wants ur picture to show it to his parents, then he says he wants to meet u and then tell his parents... There itself u can see that this guy is not genuine... Its an arranged marriage, ur parents need to be involved and they need to take this proposal forward if at all everything seems right... Before that is he trying to put u in an emotional trap by telling his problem?? Don't fall prey to this guy... If ur still interested, tell him firmly that his parents need to talk to urs and also tell ur parents about him and his message to u.... Lakshmi, please be extra cautious this time, thats all I got to tell u... I know u wanna get married soon but finding the right guy is more important... U cannot spoil ur life another time... Take care...
     
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  10. kottravai

    kottravai Gold IL'ite

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    Dear IVLakshmi,
    When it comes to sharing personal information over the internet, especially through matrimonial sites, only one mantra holds good - "Prevention is better than cure". Please only share your photos and other details only when you have verified the authenticity of the person. In fact, you can hold back the sharing of your photos and phone number until the later stages, esp. the phone number until you want to directly talk to the person. As in all places on the internet, there are prowlers everywhere. And I have heard that there are people who just enroll in a matrimonial site just for fun and time-pass. Please be wary and do not get caught in such a net.
     
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