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Need Help With Husband Attitude

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Worldtraveller, Dec 29, 2018.

  1. Dec 29, 2018 #1
    Worldtraveller

    Worldtraveller Junior IL'ite

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    anytime my husband parents are sick his attitude towards me
    Becomes weird .. he literally stops talking to me and if I try to talk its pretty clear that he’s not interested
    I feel that I’m an outsider while his sister and mom becomes like his emotional support . As a wife this is insulting to me
    2. He makes me feel as if if he’s upset with me .. he gives the same treatment to me whenever we have had fights ... he does talk to hi sister mom etc during this time biybwith me it’s like we are at fight

    I dnt understand this behavior and it makes me mad .. if parents are sick for whatever reason and clearly one is upset then the spouse should be your go to person to talk your emotions out . It’s his sister and mom and I’m flushed out of thi scenario

    I have had this so many times that now I try to stay out of the House
    With kids so it gives him
    Time to be with himself and talk openly to whoever he wants to talk

    But definitely this behavior of his makes me angry at the time I should be close to him .. I feel insulted ..
    I haven’t done anything to make his father or mom sick so why he behaves so weird to me giving me this silent treatment and is so rude when I talk
     
    Worldtraveller, Dec 29, 2018
    Worldtraveller, Dec 29, 2018
    #1
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  2. Dec 29, 2018 #2
    sabrinaT

    sabrinaT New IL'ite

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    How long have you guys been married? If it's less than 5 years, I would think this is normal, meaning him confiding more with his sister... Mom however, will be at the heart of every son and cannot be replaced.

    Ive seen guys in general when they get angry / sad tend to be a bit more reclusive ... (Remember men are from mars, women are from Venus) ... Also, think about it, how long can his sister be available for him ... I'm sure she has her own life, her kids family ... in laws etc :)

    One of my friends when he is upset with wife said that he spends 8 hours easily cleaning his car, polishing it etc, as it gives him time to process his thoughts and relax a bit. His wife on the other hand spends these 8 hours annoyed ... just another perspective.
     
    sabrinaT, Dec 29, 2018
    sabrinaT, Dec 29, 2018
    #2
    Lalithambigai likes this.
  3. Dec 30, 2018 #3
    YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

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    Are you away from inlaws? Who is caring for them when they are sick? Is ur H able to attend them personally when needed?
     
    YoGirl, Dec 30, 2018
    YoGirl, Dec 30, 2018
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  4. Dec 30, 2018 #4
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    When his parents are sick, it is not about you. It is about him and what can be done to help him so he can help his parents. If he is finding support with his sister or mom, be glad that he is finding it.

    Now, if for other life problems or happier things like achievements you come second, then, maybe you have a valid point.

    That is sad -- your going out and the reason. A person should be able to use a phone freely in his/her house to talk to whomever he/she wants to. He should get the privacy he wants or needs without your going out.

    That kind of closeness cannot be forced or hastened. The best way to deal with this is give him the space and not insisting that he share his emotions with you. Let him know you are there are for him if needed. And go about your day and life as usual. Don't go out of your way to go out of the house.
     
    Rihana, Dec 30, 2018
    Rihana, Dec 30, 2018
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  5. Jan 1, 2019 #5
    preeti6years

    preeti6years Silver IL'ite

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    Yes this happened with me... I got used to this. Now I stay away from all the drama (sorry to call this a drama). But I provide my support wherever its required. Just leave it to deal with it themselves when they dont want to involve you.
    Sometimes ignorance is a bliss/blessing and boon
     
    preeti6years, Jan 1, 2019
    preeti6years, Jan 1, 2019
    #5

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