I have to get rid of this thought which is itching for a long time.I have tried to be very positive for the past one year but on and off I get these thoughts..I would really like some help to change my thought process.. I live a pretty good life atleast thats what I think.I go to gym,do lot of zumba,yoga,try variety recipes,have family nearby,naughty kid,nice husband and decent neighbors.. 1)However..I never had to inclination to work outside.I have worked for four years but it's just not me.maybe by god's grace I have a decent finance flow.Am I lazy?definetly not.I have lot of hobbies and take complete control of kids and house activities to keep me busy.However,I feel guilty at times for not "earning" money. 2) I miss India and have started lot of threads regarding this BUT the real reason is not about food or temples or movies.I miss my buddies with whom I hang out every time and have a blast.we don't go just to malls and some food place but it's all parties, dance places, high class restaurants, wearing awesome clothes and all star hotels.It's like living a parallel world.a hi fi life.There..I said it.It feels good to dress up, hang out with like minded buddies, especially back in your home.Here.I just don't feel like going to the same old restaurants, tough to find like minded friends who has the same interests.people are good here but not the same. Everytime I see people in India and their instagram and facebook pics..I envy and feel off.I have to accept that. 3) I have always felt secure in India and never worried about old age there.Here I feel what will happen once kids leave?When my kid is off to college,I will only be 50.I am so scared it might get lonely and this place lacks the hustle buzzle and that insecurity sometimes eats me alive.that is one of the major reason I want to run away to India. Honestly, otherwise no complaints being in usa. I feel a person can be complete only with.. own country, job, friends, love, family, parties etc..I am sure everyone does not get everything and sometimes things are out of our control.Even now I have a chance to go back if I wanted.Hubby feels different but he will do anything for my happiness..however,I don't want to be selfish and snatch his happiness which he feels is here..kindly understand and tell me where I am wrong or right.I want to accept life as it is. Please do not judge me.I had to get this out of my system.I want to accept my life and go with the flow and relax..