Need Help And Suggestion ... Pls

forget him now, you have already wasted a lot of time on him. you know now that he is a cheat, so there is no question of that you are not able to believe him. you should not believe him now.
It looks like that you are ready to be a second wife to him. it is illegal in India. this boy is a cheat. cut off all contact. start a new life.

 

Hey,

You wasted lot of time with him.., don't trust him at least from now onwards and why are you thinking about second wife,.... will you think he will take care of you as second wife,,... what he will do for first wife....

As we are in India you should not give him a chance for physical desire before marriage .. any how past is past....


If you want to make your life happy.... dont believe him again and again and start a new life... erase all the things belongs to him....

Start a new life..... please don't trust any one blindly......

All the best for your bright future.....

Hugs to you......

 

Throw him and his thoughts away. Change your environment. Move to a different place and study some courses that may help you in promotion/job. If you are jobless, first try to get a job. Job should be your first boyfriend. Move to a new place. Moving to a new place will help you when you are emotionally broken. It's better to stay alone than imagining to live with a cheat like him. I see you feel so bad about yourself too, I can understand why. Humans make mistakes. Learn from the mistakes, do not do these mistakes again. Try to help needy people or do some positive things to others, that may help you in building positive self esteem. He should be ashamed for playing with your life and spoiling another girls life. I feel sorry for the innocent girl who has married this toxic guy. He is toxic. There are more things to enjoy in life. Go away, be independent and enjoy your alone time. Marry a guy who can accept you and your past. Marriage is not a necessity, if it's not bringing you any good it's perfectly okay to stay single and have fun too.

 

Are you for real? YOU asked him to marry another girl, HOPING he would not leave you??? Why? And now, you are ready to be his second wife, and extend this insecurity for life? Why? Forget the legal complications in this, why would you voluntarily walk into a trap like this??

That scum is not worth your time or life. Just forget about him. For this, you have to be strong and not look back. Nine years is a long time to have wasted on such a person.

Your life, your education, your health. All that should be priority right now. This person, never loved you, and never will, whether as first wife, or second wife. There is no need to go to the police, or waste another single second on him.

What is your status now? Have you completed your education, and have a steady job? If either is no, that should be your first step.

In future, please gauge men more carefully before investing your everything into them. You really need to improve your self confidence and self worth. It is tough, but it can definitely be done. Your life and future lies in front of you. There is no better revenge than rising successfully in front of him.

Good luck.

 

Sorry if my words are harsh but I cannot be sweet and nice to a woman who does not realize that she is being used not once but many times and for physical pleasure and physical pleasure ONLY and is ready to be a "second" wife to him.
I mean, seriously lady ?? are you for real ??

Assuming its not a Tuesday troll - here are my 2 heavy cents -

1. You loved him - he did not love you.
2. He knew you were emotional about him and would do anything to be with him. He USED it.
3. Major Red Flag - abortion
4. No idea what you wanted to achieve by saying that he could get married to another girl - he again USED it.
5. Now you are ready to be his second wife - you are asking him to USE you again and again - not sure what is the happiness you are assuming you'd get out of being a "second" wife.

In your case love is not just blind its dumb too.
You are educated and smart enough to use internet and post on IL, you can write your story here but are you not smart enough to realize that he is USING you for the sake of physical pleasure.

You say he used you for physical desire - am sure he did not force himself unto you.
You could not ask him to use protection ?
Did you take a stand when he got the baby aborted? Leaving aside the fact that you killed a baby (a life which you both irresponsibly created). Did you not ask him why does he want you abort the baby when he is going to be with you? did you not even get a faint doubt that he is playing with you ?

Now you ask us what to do !! What is your parents' advice? Are they aware of your love story?

You need to do the following :

1. Grow up
2. Earn a living (if not earning already)
3. Get away from this man
4. Don't ever trust people blindly.
5. Love does not ask you to be committed physically - love waits, love does not force, love does not cheat, love is responsible.

 

I am sorry, but I don't think any soothing word will give you a reality check right now.

You both had unprotected sex before marriage by knowing the consequences of it. That too for many times. Don't blame the hormone here.
You both enjoyed it. You both decided to abort the baby for whatever the reason.
You asked him to marry someone else for whatever the reason. Why? Why? Why?
And after letting him marry someone else, you still hoped he will continue the illegal affair with you? Great!!!
Why? For what sin the other innocent girl who marries your husband should go through a terrific marriage since the beginning.
It is great that your boy friend has at least chose to act matured right now. He is married, and moved on.
He shouldn't have to come back to his past and spoil his, and his wife's future with that.

You were not raped. You were not a kid when you were in a relationship with him.
As an adult, you did know what you were heading to. It was your choice.

Stop blaming men for such mess all the time. You are equally responsible for this.
And you have asked him to marry someone else. Just that he did not continue the illegal relationship with you as promised.
Does that amount to breach of promise? NO.

Wake up girl...
Go get some job, and re start your life.

 

Hey Kavi All above have already said what I would, Just 1 thing for your good - MOVE ON.
He was not the man of your life. Take a break be strong, don't let him overtake your mind n conscious. If required go to a counsellor. Be financially strong, join some social groups, try to divert ur mind from the trauma you are going thru.
Finally when you feel n u need some one & u are ready to accept him (forgetting your past) then only go ahead in search of a partner else it may happen that you fail to do justice with your new relation .