Need Advice

Since you are struggling with the memories of what she said, write out the weaknesses/issues that she said about you. I am sure you remember them. Look at each of those words, and review yourself about them. Is it true? no, Then no need to even worry about it. If yes, does it bother you, that you have this personality trait? No- then her words have no power, and throw it away, if Yes- Do you want to or can you fix it? No - again, her words have no power, if yes- then use this as an opportunity to improve yourself. I am advising you to take the person out of the message, and use or throw the message.

 

"Had to maintain a professional relation as work should not get impact...Talking and sorting out the issues doesn’t work... the entire organization feels that I am at no fault and it was that other colleague’s fault."

I think the best option will be to maintain (switch to) professional communication through emails and deal everything professionally. Everything will be written and it will serve as a proof. cc others if others are involved. This way you can try to reduce personal level interaction with her (especially it it is one to one, not group). If she try to talk to you then request her to send an email. If required, talk minimum and to the point.

Ignore other personal level attacks. Dont take everything to heart. Do your job with sincerity and to the perfection as much as you can. If somebody pass any comment/feedback think first is there any point.. is there any scope for improvement. If so try to do that. Neglect all the unnecessary comments. If you are not convinced send an email and communicate through that medium. Always read /check well before sending anything in written format. You need to convince your boss, no one else I believe.

Be positive and strong, if you believe you did your job well and is able to convince others about it, dont worry about others unnecessary comments. Just ignore it. What you do if you meet a new person in a meeting. How do you interact. Same way interact with her. Give respect and take respect. Always maintain our standards and elegance

Be a professional in all senses (personal emotions don't have much place there).

 

Wow. that pretty much summarized why i had to quit a company. I had a similar coworker who was such a sweet talker to his/ my manager but was a real mean person when dealing with employees of her own grade. I am sorry to hear your issue.

But honestly there are only 2 ways, Fight or leave. the middle ground of ignoring never work. it never did for me. Because this issue really depressed me to the core. Luckily it motivated me to work so hard , i mean really hard. I was working almost 4 - 5 after my 8 hour work on my skills. Then i used this to change my project to a different company.

if you cannot leave.
Sorry, you will have to deal with such people. You have to find a superior in your diplomatic style and convey your concern in your style.

 

So, I assume, the betrayal of trust and friendship is what really hurts. In that case, you must adjust your perception of this person. You are still viewing this person as a significant person. Let that go, and start viewing her as a stranger, a distant colleague who you have no interest in getting to know. You can't ignore her presence, she is a coworker and you may need to work with her, but you can decide on how much impact she has on you. That is something in your mind.

Have you heard of the saying forgive or forget? You are unable to forget her words, and you haven't actually forgiven her for the incident. Choose one of them, or you will not be able to move on.

If you are having trouble, trying faking it. Try faking your confidence and composure around her, and with time, that will become the truth.

 

Thanks .

thanks.

Actually it made me realize, that company is never my friend. I can only focus on my career and that only . It was a phase when I became so relaxed thinking i am permanent and secure. But after leaving only, i realized i was more happy in working in a dynamic goal oriented places. But that being said, leaving is never a good idea , once should always try to work your way up through proper communication because we cannot run forever.