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Need Advice Urgently

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by swethasweety, May 14, 2018.

  1. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Disclaimer : I don't have a moral compass designed to judge others neither am i a moral police.

    I am from the 70's brigade probably you did not think we would have had affairs or love marriages and were all looped into the arranged marriages with the ghoonghats..just saying..

    i married the love of my life and it is 25years now and still going strong. i have been at the worst of my physical appearance, when he was handsome and i have recovered to a better looking person while he lost his hair. never did physical appearance had too much of an impact on us.we loved the person for what he/she was.

    Your post reminded me of this scene from this movie


    you can sit on any number of kuris/chairs, but the problem is when you break the chair so much that it is going to be difficult task repairing it, or is going to be useless for anyone else. part ways, leaving it intact so that if ever, you pass by you have smile looking at the good memories..

    the only thing my kids have been taught, btw i have a son and daughter, that if possible, never break someone's heart. be clear, whether you really like the person before proceeding further. we are adults who can differentiate between infactuation, lust, or love. let us not confuse them.

    hope you find the best match..
     
  2. Greenbay

    Greenbay Silver IL'ite

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    There are several inconsistencies in your story.
    1. You blast people’s suggestions as people born in 80s and 90s. But you and your (ex)BF yourselves are 27+ or soon to be 28. So your generation is not that young either.

    2. You said you met him in undergrad in India. And you both moved to abroad to do PG and he is a budding neuro surgeon.
    And then you say he needs to concentrate in taking PG entrance exam to do PG if he is deported back to India. For medical grads in India, to get seat in US, one has to take USMLE step 1, step 2 CK, step 2 CS , so what entrance exams did you folks take? If you aced those, exams in India aren’t hard in my view.

    3. Path to becoming neurosurgeon in US is long. Need to do minimum 1 year internal medicine residency followed by 6-8 years specialized neuro surgical residency. And for Indian medical graduates, admission criteria is even higher, so I doubt the truth in your statements based on the maturity level exhibited in few posts here.

    If you are truthful, I am concerned at the plight/horror of patients on what kind of diagnosis and treatment they might receive by you and your ilk :)

    Now back to your question. If you are not sorry in‘dumping’ him due to his bad grooming , you should develop thick skin on what he is currently undergoing as well. He will get over you eventually.
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2018
  3. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Gold IL'ite

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    why .whats my toxic thought
     
  4. swethasweety

    swethasweety New IL'ite

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    1)I do Blast them ,Just This is the problem ,i have moved to a mindset of this young generation most stuck with mindset of their generation i do not blame them for this.
    2)Exam pattern of USMLE and Indian exam is 2 different thing,USMLE is based on clinical scenario, and testing your clinical knowledge ,meanwhile Indian exams are based on Judgements and your smartness ,as the number of seats are very less everyone will score near same ,so exam pattern is tricky ,they do not want your knowledge in subject just a person who can find out which is not twisted question and which is a real twisted question,mostly Indian exams are one liners.
    3)We both did UG at a premier institute in India ,for us it was never a issue to get matching ,yes i agree being a IMG usually surgical specialty they will not give ,but he did good in CS and i never mentioned i'm doing neurosurgery ,I'm into some other speciality
    You people mix personal life with professional life ,lot of people who suck in personal life are good in professional life.
    About your doubts ,yes i waste daily 1 hour writing story entertaining people online or stop may be i'm going to sell this story in amazon kindle ? :tongueout:
     
  5. swethasweety

    swethasweety New IL'ite

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    I got to travel to some other city ,so while traveling i do not know how often i can post,if i cant post don't think i ran off
     
  6. blooms4me

    blooms4me Bronze IL'ite

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    I am not sure what you need "Urgent Help" for? You like to live your life a certain way and do not think that you have done anything wrong.Good for you. Great. But you have posted this issue in a public forum. If you didn't want any input from the members, why do so? Anyone posting here want this matter to get resolved, and make the break up easier so please stop making negative remarks. No one is saying breaking up is bad. All people are saying is the manner in which the break up was done could have been handled better. Have u ever thought why he lost interest in grooming himself or being spontaneous? He is studying to be a Neurosurgeon, he would be having his own difficulties and issues, studying to do or something else. I am not questioning your reason to break up with him. I don't know the whole story or how he is, so I am not judging. No one is. But don't you owe it to the commitment you had to him to give him a clean break? Hope you make wise decisions. All the best for your future.
     
    Greenbay and shravs3 like this.
  7. Mistt

    Mistt Platinum IL'ite

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    you aren't listening or understanding anyone's advice here then you can't post or run away from here also no problem. I am going to unwatch this thread because .....
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2018
    bron, shravs3 and messedup like this.
  8. boby

    boby Junior IL'ite

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    I did this when I was 20. After my Mom came to know about our relationship, I cut his contact all of a sudden. He was desperate, sent me messages, contacted my friends, I lost few friends over it. Everything stopped after a while. But after a few months I realized how important he is to me, I realized my love for him. I got back to him and 7 years later, we are happily married.You can have doubts about your relationship, but if you love him truly, you couldn't have done what you have done.You are a gold digger and you can never live happily with this attitude.
     
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  9. boby

    boby Junior IL'ite

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    Please don't encourage this. Having fun is different from cheating and dumping someone. She can have sex with any number of people she want I will not judge her. But here, she spoiled someone's life in the name of love. She is an unadulterated Bitch. Hope all the guys that she meets realize this sooner and ditch her. I am a feminist and I don't usually use swear words that disgrace women. But what she did is inhumane and deserved to be called that.
     
  10. boby

    boby Junior IL'ite

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    You broke his self respect and dignity. How can you expect him to understand.I don't want to waste my time talking about you anymore. You are not worthy of my time.
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2018
    vijjis likes this.

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