Need Advice To Quit Or Not

I am not employed right now but had worked earlier.

You have a good job in a middle level mgmt position so I'm assuming you are paid well...why do u need to quit your job just because other seniors dont let their wives work?
Remember one thing..you have 2 kids and school, college education etc are not cheap..your husband and inlaws are somehow helping u in child care and co operating with u so u can continue the job...obviously you have to hand over the control of cooking, kitchen etc to inlaws when u r working outside..

Apart from financial stability you are getting good career growth and good change of place by workings office..

There are so many ladies who want to earn and be financially secure by working on office but are unable to do so as they don't have proper childcare..so ur position is much better.

I don't like the attitude of ur colleagues in demeaning lady co workers..do they even realise how much ladies struggle to Manage home and office...maternity leave is the right of every woman and she cannot be criticised for availing it.

If u feel u don't have work life balance then u can switch to a different role or different job profile with lesser responsibilities, but quitting is a drastic decision...u need to think a hundred times about it. I agree that the career growth will be less when u are unable to work long hours but as long as you are contented with the job and salary you have then there is no issue.

By the way,I know many ladies who come to office sharp at 9 am, finish all their work by 6pm without wasting much time on lunch and coffee breaks..they leave for the day by 6pm to spend time with kids..whereas I know men who come to office by 11 or 11.30 am, stay till 8.30 pm but actually spend only a few hrs working..rest is spent in cafeteria and coffee breaks to do professional cum social networking with colleagues..they get credit for " working late" while such ladies who are efficient are judged for leaving early to be with kids.

FYI, there are many men especially unmarried ones who like staying late due to free internet connection...married men sometimes like staying late to escape from domestic issues and responsibilities at home..this is something they will not admit so easily to any woman.

I get irritated when any man makes generalisations about female co workers w.r.t personal life.

 

1. What is the point in you quitting here?
2. Does staying in office for long hours means that they are more productive than you are?

Analyse the pros and cons of your quitting the job, as you know your situation well. Talk to your children about it and get their opinion and also with your inlaws.

I feel, even if our salary is not required, we tend to generate a lot of commitments with our Salary. Discuss with your husband and kids about what they will miss, if your salary is not going to be there and also explain, how you can make their life better if you are a full time home maker.

You, Yourself analyse first.

My two cent, Being financially independent is so important for any ladies.

 

Taking maternity break , not able to stretch in office, Slow career growth are harsh realities, that we ladies need to accept...It doesn't matter how soon you reach there, it all matters whether you keep working towards your destination. I may be one step behind my male colleagues wrt milestone,but i am happy that i haven't stopped and still continue to be running in the race. If you are able to manage the show, then why do you want to quit now?

 

OP,

I am a working lady in one of top IT company in India with a good pay. Discussion what you had with your friend, I head heard this from my many relatives, friends whose wife's are home makers. No offence means but being home maker shouldn't be only husbands choice. It's on you. Couple of things which I feel are true in your post -
1. We as mothers can not stay for long hours but it doesn't mean we do not complete our responsibility or we cant stay if needed. Normally i am 9:00 to 6:00 person but I stretch hours if needed. Then my DH limit his hour to pick kids and take care them. In 9 to 6, i don't take unnecessarily breaks so that I can leave office on time. I also eat my lunch at my desk, bring coffee or snacks at my desk. On other side my mail counterpart, he takes 1 hr for breakfast, lunch and coffee and some times other breaks too. But he stay until 9-10 pm. Does it mean he is more productive? He is one level up from me but we both have same responsibilities for our team and reports same manager.

2. Husbands or your careers growth - Me and my DH always discuss this topic. I also feel if one is non working then other can concentrate fully on career that means more growth. But if both of them working then both need to compromise on work to help each other. We believe in second part that is helping each other and get a average growth. We are raising our kids without any support from parents and happy with that arrangement. We are doing good in career too.

Again this is mine and DHs' thought which suits both of us and we are happy with arrangement.

 

Same point that I was trying to convey..better to be working and get some steady Income instead of being a home maker with no income....so many ladies are unable to become managers but are stuck in the same position for years together..or they have been shifted towards less demanding projects if they were unable to cope up with high pressure tasks..but if they are happy with what they have then what is the issue.

 

@generic several likes to ur both posts.
yes. not all male colleguages are working great and getting promoted either, if so they all should be retiring as C-suite executives.
With so much managing house, kids, satisfying in-laws etc still women are able to continue their work and few are getting promoted, very few reaching to C-suite level is really great.

@gladis

Isn't it so selfish from his side. he wants to have a family but wife should take all responsibility of family, but he would be growing in office, more and more, like a bachelor can be. at the end of the day he will have happy kids, clean house , home cooked meal, all money and property on his name, his well studied wife can take care/manage everything, (
at the sacrifice of his wife's career he is getting all this, if he wants so much career he should go for it, he wants family means there is a responsibility too toward it)

I have read a wonderful book by facebook COO, you should read it @gladis. I advice not only working women but every women should read it. All hard truths we don't talk , just hide in ourselves and try to smile, this book will uncover all.
Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead
http://www.amazon.com/Lean-Women-Work-Will-Lead/dp/0385349947?ie=UTF8&keywords=lean in&qid=1462541574&ref_=sr_1_1&sr=8-1

 

Hey. Don't decide your life depending on others! Can you really stay at home after working for so many years?
Do you think your inlaws will leave you guys and go? Staying with inlaws full time will it work? Though financial dependency is not there, Raising 2 kids is not easy these days. See your situation at home and decide dear Best wishes