Need advice/suggestions

I am married 7 years back typical arraged marrige with huge amount of money and jewells. even though there is no such tradition that girls side should perform marriage but my parents did that in a lavish way as i am only daughter. FYI dowery was given before marriage as they asked all the amount they demanded to the house hold mean me or my DH won't get a penny out of it . At the time of proposel elders asked about wht they would give form their side. They told certain gold jewells for me and property for their son which every one thought good and performed marriage.


with in a week after my marriage me and DH are out of station and after comming back we came to know from one of our relatives that my FIL asked for aksed my father for almost more than 4 lakhs money and my father gave it to him as he thought may be my FIL has money issues as my FIL is in to business(FYI my father is also into business so he know the problems)

inbtw me and my DH has to go out of our places and he told me that his father has certain amout as dets which he does't know. i told him its ok we can help him by earning and came back and told my mom about wht my DH told me and mom at that time she said its ok some time it happes like that so you both work togather and send it to FIL and told me about the money they gave to my FIL and i told my mom that i know that as one of my relative told me.

After comming back to our permanet location my FIL is insisting my DH about money all the time which my DH was not able to communicate with me as we are living in some ones house and soom moved to our place and we both are alone with no one and DH told me about his DF asking him money as he don't have any bank balace as he is sending each and every penny he is earning to his DF so far. I thought i want to stop this and don't want to nag thru out our lifes and talked to my FIL when he called his son, i my self took the phone and asked him about the dets he is having and i told him that i came to know from his son about the dets. i asked his in a very polite way and he responded me with an amout double to what he told to my husband. i did't said any thing to him other that that if i give him that amout he will be free of debts and live happly for ever with what he is having as property . he said 100% yes and i promised him that i will send him that amout. I spoke to my hus and i arraged that huge huge amount of money buy keeping all my jewels in bank and bororwing money from my side and form DH friends. its really huge amount for us with out any bank balance and with dets of my DH own as his father took money from DH friends before marriage where DH has to pay them from his pocket. FYI my father doen't know any of this that i borrowed huge amount of money my mom know only minimal out of it as i don't want to let them know as my father was so depressed as i moved out from their place and at the same time he has croes of loss in his business.


All this happed in just 3 months of my marriage dowrey + my father gave huge amout+ me and DH sent huge huge amount to my FIL . From then to now we have given them so much of money one can't belive that much money but just doing regular jobs with two kids.we don't have saving at all other than hope that god will show us the way.

Right now i have two kids me and my DH both are working with -ve bank balace still my FIL &SIL are expecting huge amounts in the form of loans .
After all this i came to know that my in-laws side are big liers and don't know what to say about them. We are sending money when ever they needed in huge amouts as they emotinally blackmail us saying that if they won't pay they will go to jail or mom is crying like that . My SILs are playing big part in this whole scene. They sell the properties with out our notice .

Don't know what to do with that kind of people. I know first of all its my mistake to give them that much advantage thinking they are elderly people why they should be in pain atleast releve them from what they are going thru and take all that burden on my shoulders which is a big mistake.

I never told my sutivation to any one not even to my friends or family or any one other than talking loud to my self when i am by my self to vent out my feelings


Lost trust on people.

 

Thanks for ur response. DH told them many many times that we can't support them in this way . they will be quite for couple of days and starts asking for money saying some blackmail things added to this SIL support . They used to talk to me so sweet when ever i used to send money to them and now not in touch in such that way. They will just talk to his son/brother all the time. Now they are pressuring my DH to apply loan for huge amount and give 75% of loan amount for them to clear FIL dets. My SIL says that she is supporting her father but at the end she will caliculate all the money she gave to her father and ask his to repay by saying that her FIL is asking for the money she gave to her father. I don't know how much money my FIL needs as we send him huge huge amounts of money when ever he asks.My FIL won't do any thing now other than just travling to theri home town and the place where they live. Don't know what he is doing there by traveling to home town. He is not old he can work some thing or other to get some money atleast to run the family.

Is it the tradition or what ever it is to clear all the debts made my FIL with out our notice may be its crores of rupes to clear by his SON and DIL.

So far i did't said any word to my inlaws about what they are doing. can i ask them why they are doing like this or ask them about the property they promised my elders during the time of marriage.

I know this is a never ending episode for us until we send huge and huge amount of money don't know how to tackle this.

ILS please pour some inputs how to handle this in a smart way.