Need a womans thoughts are perspectives

I agree with Flowerlady that something else is going on or hidden. It seems that a reaction of years to what seems to me a minor incident is excessive. The questions that spring to mind for me are:

--did something happen between your wife and her friend's husband that she wishes not to disclose? I am not just talking about EMA but perhaps he made unwanted advances that she doesn't want to blow up on everyone?

--is she going through initial stages of menopause which she is having a hard time handling?

--does she have a significant underlying depressive or other mental disorder and everything else is not the issue but that is? And btw, if she is depressed, little vacations etc will not do anything....she needs psychotherapy and perhaps medicinal therapy.